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Old 09-16-2019, 08:54 PM
Location: Buffalo, NY
1,415 posts, read 1,256,530 times
Reputation: 3320


Anyone who is still alive is a winner. Period.
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Old 09-16-2019, 09:04 PM
Location: Silicon Valley
18,220 posts, read 23,535,186 times
Reputation: 35729
Originally Posted by carnelian View Post
After, say, 50, or in retirement, does it make sense to consider yourself and others winners or losers in life?
Question bothers me.
What is a loser, anyway? Someone who has never done anything much?
Drug addict? Or someone, like myself, who has not achieved their life goals and expectations
Such as marriage, or admirable LTR, career job satisfaction? I have not achieved that, having failed to get really good well paying jobs--- and love. Only lost love.
Some say loners and weirdos are losers (unfairly) and some
say if you lost all your money, bankrupt. Not to mention criminal types.
What makes you a winner? Big success, nice family?
This is bound and determined by culture because western values differ from the poorest nations.

Does happiness make you a winner? What you think?
No, I don't judge people based on their current situation. Some people may have accomplished great things then became disabled and/or low income, not due to any unforgivable fault due to their behavior or decisions, and are now really poor, for instance.
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Old 09-16-2019, 10:57 PM
670 posts, read 205,640 times
Reputation: 1941
I have at least a few friends who chose a different path than I did in high school/college.

Friends stayed in an economically depressed midwestern state at the time, married, and had children. They got mediocre jobs while many in my class chose to go out of state for college as I did to build a career.

I wanted more out of life than mediocre.

Well I'm still having a monetarily fruitful life. I keep in touch with some old friends from high school and classmates from college.

Two who I keep in touch frequently are simple blue-collar workers and have raised amazing families. They think I'm the successful one. Not true. They seem so happy and content. I have more money but they have the old fashioned evenings of sitting outside on a hot summer evening to watch a sunset after a nice family dinner. To me it seems like they are the winners. I'm the one still searching. They know exactly who and where they are and they seem content. That's the new status symbol, don't ya think? I want what they have and they know it. Don't we all want that?
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Old Yesterday, 01:10 AM
26,523 posts, read 28,932,261 times
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Originally Posted by silibran View Post
I don’t know why people have to be thought of as “winners” or losers. I think people who think that way tell me more about themselves, than they do about others.

Life is not a win vs lose competition, unless you make it so.
This is what I think as well.

For me, I think it's more of a person's attitude than anything and whether they live a purposeful life that they're actually happy with. It's definitely a spectrum. I have one well off friend who isn't happy. He got the money part right, but not the people part. Spends way too much time watching TV in his retirement years.

I have an ex-friend who I finally had to drop because he blamed 90% of his personal failures (financial and relationship) on external circumstances (despite having things like a decent, middle class upbringing, being single with no kids, etc.). Even that would've been ok if he hadn't kept dredging this stuff up all the time and knowingly engaging with people who had "drama" written all over them. The fact that he almost never owned up to his own shortcomings wore me out after a while. Technically, he's not a loser in that he has an ok life from outward appearances, but his attitude s*cked as far as I was concerned.

I have another friend who's an immigrant who has a crappy retail job, who spent more than a decade taking care of his elderly mother with both of them in a 1BR apartment. Despite not being particularly ambitious and having a lower paying job in a higher cost area than my ex-friend mentioned in the above paragraph, he has more money saved and invested, more realistic expectations in life, and complains less. He's still my friend.
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Old Yesterday, 03:06 AM
Location: Silicon Valley
137 posts, read 56,558 times
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Originally Posted by Hefe View Post
The answer to what seems to be your first question is that I consider older people to be both lucky & survivors.

To what seems to be your second question about living life I will bow to a quote from Steve Jobs. I only came across it very recently but it resonated because it pretty much verbalized how I have tried to mostly live my life despite how odd others may feel my path was.

“Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” - Steve Jobs

Spot on. To me the key to being happy and content, (which is what I would call being a winner), is staying true to who you are and the values you live by. And you're truly the only one who can determine what those values are. Trying to live by somebody else's values is just a path to being unfulfilled, (or, a "loser" if you prefer to think of it by that definition).

When set-backs occur does that make you a "loser"? If that's the case, then every human being that ever lived is a loser. But like another poster said, it's all about mindset. You can approach the problem with a positive mindset determined to fix it, or if it can't be fixed, you can accept it and find a way to move on and still live your best possible life according to your values, (happy and content).

Winner or loser? Only you know how you feel about yourself. What others think doesn't matter.
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Old Yesterday, 03:16 AM
Status: "I love my Chloe kitty. ^.,.^" (set 3 days ago)
Location: Somewhere.
10,046 posts, read 22,344,703 times
Reputation: 7743
Older people are not losers. They are winners. They have achieved longevity where a lot of people don't get to. So what if someone didn't do a heck of a lot with their life. Everyone has their own story they are living, unique to them. We all try to do the best we can with the life we are given. And that should be enough.
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Old Yesterday, 04:56 AM
214 posts, read 155,250 times
Reputation: 657
I'm 70, reasonably happy, secure enough. I am a big, big winner.
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Old Yesterday, 05:26 AM
Location: Loudon, TN
6,105 posts, read 5,031,244 times
Reputation: 20900
What a bizarre question. Age has nothing to do with being a loser. I would say that as I age, I become more and more of a winner since I've managed to not die in the previous year.

Maybe that's too literal. Perhaps being a winner is just being happy with how it all has turned out. My DH has two friends whose lives have not turned out well, in my estimation, but they seem happy enough within their world, so who am I to call them losers?

Last edited by TheShadow; Yesterday at 05:40 AM..
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Old Yesterday, 06:37 AM
13,121 posts, read 14,372,056 times
Reputation: 36256
Originally Posted by RocketSci View Post
Anyone who is still alive is a winner. Period.
I am old and I have seen too many people in hospitals over the years who were being kept alive by machines with tubes ram-jammed into half the orifices of their bodies.

Definitely not my idea of "winner."
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Old Yesterday, 07:04 AM
Location: Tennessee
24,424 posts, read 18,186,065 times
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I've had some great wins and life in losses. This will continue until I die.
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