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Old Yesterday, 07:06 AM
 
Location: Pennsylvania
16,596 posts, read 10,549,444 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by silibran View Post
I don’t know why people have to be thought of as “winners” or losers. I think people who think that way tell me more about themselves, than they do about others.

Life is not a win vs lose competition, unless you make it so.
Exactly.


Well said, silibran.
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Old Yesterday, 09:27 AM
 
Location: Illinois
293 posts, read 169,075 times
Reputation: 317
Thanks for your thoughtful replies. uplifting.

I posted this here because older people are able to reflect more
on their lives and evaluate. Winner/loser can apply to many ages--or none.

It is a false dichotomy. Nonwinner is a possible label. I bring this
up because the words are used in speech throughout society, or merely
thought, not stated. merely living a long life does not make you a winner--it
depends on how it was lived. Survivor is not the same as winner. I am a
survivor in many ways, but a winner?? Of, course, some athletes and others
who depend on statistics in their livelihood are perceived as winners/losers by the public.

In my case, in very competitive fields, I could not find a really good full-time career job
despite huge amounts of effort, work and time over my life. The interviews=
zero. A ton of effort and thought all my dating years was mostly wasted searching for a solid LTR that was
a wild goose chase, a maze going nowhere. Lesser goals such as relocation are frustrated. Loser??

On the plus side, I have advanced degrees and am published,some of it is read world-wide (literally)
so I am very pleased.

Thank you for reading.
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Old Yesterday, 09:32 AM
 
Location: Houston, TX
14,872 posts, read 8,722,737 times
Reputation: 29758
Quote:
Originally Posted by carnelian View Post
After, say, 50, or in retirement, does it make sense to consider yourself and others winners or losers in life?
Question bothers me.
What is a loser, anyway? Someone who has never done anything much?
Drug addict? Or someone, like myself, who has not achieved their life goals and expectations
Such as marriage, or admirable LTR, career job satisfaction? I have not achieved that, having failed to get really good well paying jobs--- and love. Only lost love.
Some say loners and weirdos are losers (unfairly) and some
say if you lost all your money, bankrupt. Not to mention criminal types.
What makes you a winner? Big success, nice family?
This is bound and determined by culture because western values differ from the poorest nations.


Does happiness make you a winner? What you think?
The fact that they are still alive puts many old people ahead of the pack. So they are winners in that way at the very least.
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Old Yesterday, 09:42 AM
 
2,846 posts, read 1,738,327 times
Reputation: 5832
Winners or losers in life... It's not that simple.


I used to be in Mensa back in my college/post grad days. I met a lot of very smart people. Some were ambitious, some have achieved a very high level of financial success. Some of them were married, divorced, etc. Some came from money, others had very little. Truly, the only thing that we all had in common was that we could score high on an intelligence test.


One of the guys who came to meetings every now and then always wore a t-shirt and ripped jeans (long before jeans came ripped brand new from the store.) He was a bartender at a "nice" college bar, meaning it was never too loud or rambunctious in there, but had enough regulars for him to earn a decent income from tips.



He tested as one of the smartest in that particular Mensa chapter. Yet here he was, not doing anything "higher" with his intellect, or anything financially lucrative. He just didn't care about those things. To him, meeting people was fascinating, he loved to chat with people in the bar, and his dream was to own a bar and still bartend, getting to talk to new people every night. He didn't care about having a nice car or a house, he did have an on-again, off-again girlfriend back then, but no real desire to be married, etc. In short, he lived his life very simply and was happy with it that way.


He had utter distaste for several other people in the group, that were doctors, lawyers, etc, who had lots of money and drove flashy cars... None of them were smarter than he was, he felt they were slaves to their own ego and society's expectations of them.


Some people might say he had a lack of ambition, but I don't know. He figured out what he wanted from his life, and that's what he was doing. He would say he was a winner.



I think only we can say for ourselves if we are winners or losers. If you truly feel like a winner than you are a winner, if you truly feel like a loser then you're a loser.



Myself... I am a work in progress.
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Old Yesterday, 09:55 AM
 
Location: Southeast Michigan
1,198 posts, read 1,001,309 times
Reputation: 1379
Quote:
Originally Posted by Katana49 View Post
Winners or losers in life... It's not that simple.


I used to be in Mensa back in my college/post grad days. I met a lot of very smart people. Some were ambitious, some have achieved a very high level of financial success. Some of them were married, divorced, etc. Some came from money, others had very little. Truly, the only thing that we all had in common was that we could score high on an intelligence test.


One of the guys who came to meetings every now and then always wore a t-shirt and ripped jeans (long before jeans came ripped brand new from the store.) He was a bartender at a "nice" college bar, meaning it was never too loud or rambunctious in there, but had enough regulars for him to earn a decent income from tips.



He tested as one of the smartest in that particular Mensa chapter. Yet here he was, not doing anything "higher" with his intellect, or anything financially lucrative. He just didn't care about those things. To him, meeting people was fascinating, he loved to chat with people in the bar, and his dream was to own a bar and still bartend, getting to talk to new people every night. He didn't care about having a nice car or a house, he did have an on-again, off-again girlfriend back then, but no real desire to be married, etc. In short, he lived his life very simply and was happy with it that way.


He had utter distaste for several other people in the group, that were doctors, lawyers, etc, who had lots of money and drove flashy cars... None of them were smarter than he was, he felt they were slaves to their own ego and society's expectations of them.


Some people might say he had a lack of ambition, but I don't know. He figured out what he wanted from his life, and that's what he was doing. He would say he was a winner.



I think only we can say for ourselves if we are winners or losers. If you truly feel like a winner than you are a winner, if you truly feel like a loser then you're a loser.



Myself... I am a work in progress.

A work in progress here too; and I hope to keep progressing as long as possible.



Regarding that friend from Mensa who worked as a bartender; it's perfect if it brought him happiness. But if he was truly contented with his life, why would he feel anger or resentment toward others who chose a different path? That part doesn't make sense to me.
I am assuming that not all of the wealthier folks in the group were obnoxious.
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Old Yesterday, 03:41 PM
 
2,846 posts, read 1,738,327 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mgkeith View Post

Regarding that friend from Mensa who worked as a bartender; it's perfect if it brought him happiness. But if he was truly contented with his life, why would he feel anger or resentment toward others who chose a different path? That part doesn't make sense to me.
I am assuming that not all of the wealthier folks in the group were obnoxious.

That was basically it... they were obnoxious. They didn't have a lot of friends in the group, that's for sure.



I guess the best way I can say it is this... Some people take the Mensa test to challenge themselves. Others take the test as a way to flaunt their intelligence if they pass.



I don't know if he had a problem with wealthy people in general, I think it was more of the ego and attitude of those that were in the group that rubbed him the wrong way. They were in Mensa more to brag about it more than anything, and failing to impress people in the group who tested even higher than they did, they'd flaunt their cars, houses, etc.
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Old Yesterday, 04:18 PM
 
7,053 posts, read 3,869,997 times
Reputation: 18673
In general I don't see winners and losers in an economic sense. Time and circumstance plays a lot in the economic status. The only ones I see as losers are those who went out and self inflicted losing upon themselves. Like it or not, there are some who just can't be helped and who reject a hand up. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink.
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Old Yesterday, 04:27 PM
 
Location: Colorado
12,489 posts, read 7,605,279 times
Reputation: 22478
I'm not in the "older" age range yet, though I enjoy older people's company and I always have.

I don't agree that just surviving or being alive makes you a winner. I do not believe that an infant who perishes moments out of the womb is a "loser" for one thing. For another, every single one of us will die. No one is handing out points for how long we hang around. Nobody actually SURVIVES life, in the end.

Of the great many people of all ages and situations in life, that I have known, the ones who struck me most as winners, were the ones who pursued dreams and goals that did not seem all that realistic, but were true to who they were. Makers of creative work who try to tie their livelihood to that, are taking a pretty big chance. Not only will the products of your heart and soul be judged and critiqued, but you could starve. I see "making it" in that way, to be a form of winning.

But that is only one example. To me, the winner is authentic, but not so stubborn that they cannot see when they've been wrong, and learn and grow when they should. They are grateful enough for whatever they have, whether that's a little or a lot, that they can be happy and content. They are kind. They are purposeful in how they have lived their lives.

Happiness is not just a nice perk, survival without it is bleak indeed.

Those who are petty, hostile, cruel, disingenuous, unhappy creatures who spread unhappiness among others, who are more apt to scowl in judgement than to smile at a stranger on a nice day...people who destroy or devalue every good thing that comes to them, so they can feel at home alone in the ruins of their lives having driven everyone else away...

Well they are losers, because they have lost so much. I pity them.
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Old Yesterday, 05:31 PM
 
Location: on the wind
7,842 posts, read 3,310,961 times
Reputation: 26580
No. Neither. No one loses in everything and no one wins in everything. Age has nothing to do with it.
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Old Today, 03:28 AM
 
13,121 posts, read 14,372,056 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Katana49 View Post
Winners or losers in life... It's not that simple....


Myself... I am a work in progress.
I think of it that way, pieces added, pieces fall off, pieces added, pieces fall off....always changing.
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