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Old 09-22-2019, 06:46 PM
 
3,440 posts, read 1,187,596 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by katharsis View Post
In reading some of the replies, it is interesting how back then (in the 60's and 70's), if your parents were "blue collar" working class, no one expected you to go to college. (Or at least that was how it applied to me, even though my test scores were very high and my G.P.A. was over 3.0, and to most of my friends, and ditto for my husband. In fact, I think that less than 10% of my graduating class went on to a university or four-year state college.)
I was just willful and refused to listen to people's bull$hit. I went to 12 universities altogether, six undergrad programs, three masters programs, two doctoral programs and three law schools. I just kept learning and learning and learning. I kept retaking standardized tests and getting higher scores, and got scholarships and TA's. And I worked, summers, and sometimes took a year off to work. I spent a year in Japan, played in touring orchestras, worked at IBM and law firms.

I was just now talking to my cousin. His dad was always proud of me. And I got to thinking, I don't remember a single time my mom or dad told me they were proud of me. Is that normal?
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Old 09-22-2019, 09:23 PM
 
Location: Mammoth Lakes, CA
3,220 posts, read 7,041,950 times
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I married and had a 27 year career. Never wanted children and never had any (and never regretted it). A big reason my husband and I were both able to retire at 55 was because we didn't have the expense of kids.
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Old 09-22-2019, 10:07 PM
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
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Good thread idea, OP. Some great stories told here.
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Old 09-22-2019, 11:57 PM
 
5,460 posts, read 3,552,120 times
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Hillary Clinton and I are the same age, both of us born in October 1947 and turning 72 next month.

It never occurred to Hillary Clinton, to me, and to millions of women like us and the same age (or similar age), that we would not have a career. And in the field of our choice, not confined to anything. We expected it of ourselves. It was a given.

Last edited by matisse12; Yesterday at 12:17 AM..
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Old Yesterday, 05:20 AM
 
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I made a decision early on in life to not have children. I had a military career that took me around the world to do all kinds of things that everyday women of that time did not do. I wanted adventure and personal challenge for this lifetime. No regrets.
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Old Yesterday, 06:17 AM
 
2,584 posts, read 937,351 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by matisse12 View Post
Hillary Clinton and I are the same age, both of us born in October 1947 and turning 72 next month.

It never occurred to Hillary Clinton, to me, and to millions of women like us and the same age (or similar age), that we would not have a career. And in the field of our choice, not confined to anything. We expected it of ourselves. It was a given.
I'm 6 years younger but I still saw an assortment of attitudes when I was in college. I'd say the majority of women were still there because their parents thought they should be there, and most were pursuing traditionally female careers (teaching, nursing) and hoping to get a husband. There were exceptions, but I was still the only woman in some of my advanced Math and Physics classes. One friend was intent on becoming a doctor. She got engaged to a guy who also wanted to be a doctor and he was quite traditional. They had "a talk" and she switched her major to Nursing. I did some Internet snooping a few years ago; they had 2 daughters, divorced, she remarried and both daughters are doctors.

When DS expressed his preference for a SAHM-wife, I was a bit concerned that he'd marry one with $80K in loans or who had never lived on her own- but DDIL had a 2-year degree from a business college with some loans (don't know how much, not my business) and had lived with female roommates 3 hours away from where her parents lived for a few years, working at a job managing inventory at a car dealership. He chose well.
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Old Yesterday, 08:22 AM
 
Location: ☀️ SWFL ⛱ 🌴
2,527 posts, read 1,748,639 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by katharsis View Post
In reading some of the replies, it is interesting how back then (in the 60's and 70's), if your parents were "blue collar" working class, no one expected you to go to college. (Or at least that was how it applied to me, even though my test scores were very high and my G.P.A. was over 3.0, and to most of my friends, and ditto for my husband. In fact, I think that less than 10% of my graduating class went on to a university or four-year state college.)
Why would they have expected anyone to go to college? Their grandparents, parents and themselves had not gone to college. They were in the midst of the manufacturing boom where a decent paying job could be had without a degree at that time. Having or using money to send kids to college was not their reality at that time. My parents weren’t opposed to me going to college, they had no experience or knowledge to guide or help me. All of my parent’s grandkids have graduated from four year colleges now. The next generation in our family were all expected to go to college and they did. Different times, different expectations.

Last edited by jean_ji; Yesterday at 08:35 AM..
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Old Yesterday, 08:41 AM
 
Location: SoCal
14,196 posts, read 6,810,503 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by athena53 View Post
I'm 6 years younger but I still saw an assortment of attitudes when I was in college. I'd say the majority of women were still there because their parents thought they should be there, and most were pursuing traditionally female careers (teaching, nursing) and hoping to get a husband. There were exceptions, but I was still the only woman in some of my advanced Math and Physics classes. One friend was intent on becoming a doctor. She got engaged to a guy who also wanted to be a doctor and he was quite traditional. They had "a talk" and she switched her major to Nursing. I did some Internet snooping a few years ago; they had 2 daughters, divorced, she remarried and both daughters are doctors.

When DS expressed his preference for a SAHM-wife, I was a bit concerned that he'd marry one with $80K in loans or who had never lived on her own- but DDIL had a 2-year degree from a business college with some loans (don't know how much, not my business) and had lived with female roommates 3 hours away from where her parents lived for a few years, working at a job managing inventory at a car dealership. He chose well.
I was 1 in 5 in my whole engineering college but I had no problem. When I was younger like in my teen I had read the book “The making of a woman surgeon”, so there were already some role models for women who wanted to be in the medical field.
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Old Yesterday, 08:58 AM
 
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I wanted to be an orchestra conductor but there were none back then, one so-called "women's orchestra," in Denver, IIRC. And if you wanted to start your conducting career by conducting a high school orchestra you had also to conduct the marching band for football games. Assuming, of course, you would be allowed to do even that, which was unlikely. I hate football.

Nowadays, half the new, eminent conductors are young women and I congratulate them.

Nowadays there is even a professional affiliation for female high school band/orchestra directors, I discovered. This mirrors the change in orchestra personnel with respect to women and African Americans. I'm old enough to remember when there were no black orchestra players, and no females in the Vienna Philharmonic. Now there are many!

Playing the violin, and studying classical music in general, is very hard work. Mr. Perlman, in the film "Art of the Violin" stated that the violin is so hard, by the time you learn it, you need a walker. He's so right, and I'm at that point.

Last edited by KaraZetterberg153; Yesterday at 09:16 AM..
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Old Yesterday, 08:59 AM
 
1,252 posts, read 705,256 times
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My parents were educators who did not come from wealthy backgrounds, but both managed to go to college during the 1930s. Both my parents had strong women in their families who had met with some tragedies and knew the importance of a woman being able to support herself.

My mother had a group of aunts (sisters) born in the late 1800s who all had skills and used them for wages - bookkeeper, nurse, teacher, master seamstress, etc. The theme was God gave you a brain so use it. Maybe this was a reaction to the conditions escaped in Ireland but there was strong motivation.

Growing up in the 1950s and 60s there was never a question of whether my sibs and I would go to college, but where. My mother went back to work in the 1950s after a few years as a SAHM to help pay for it. If we studied hard, the choice was ours and they would pay all expenses, which they did (also contributed to grad school). I agree that your family dynamics had a huge impact on expectations and possibilities.

The upshot is I had time working both in a professional career (before and after children) and being a SAHM. I am glad I had my career but being a SAHM was much more gratifying and enjoyable to me. I am glad I was able to enjoy a happy balance for me.

One of my sibs left to be a SAHM and could never get back into her profession again, which was devastating to her both emotionally and financially after divorce. It is still not an easy road for women to achieve balance in their lives.
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