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Old 10-02-2019, 04:07 PM
 
Location: equator
10,999 posts, read 6,531,348 times
Reputation: 25421

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rakin View Post
Ah yes in my previous career but not before retirement. After I was terminated for refusing to follow their orders I turned them in to the DOJ for price fixing and I (and another) sued them for wrongful termination.

We won the lawsuit and 2 of their Execs spent 12 months in a Federal Pen. I did sign an agreement never to contact or go back into their companies. I learned at that age you never want the Federal Govt coming down on you.

So yeah, you could say I burned a few bridges. It was a bonfire.
WOW. I love reading this. One of the rare times a white-collar criminal got his comeuppance. GOOD for you.

I did the same as you, but no one went to the Pen, DANG IT. At least I cost them some inconvenience and hassle. Even the mediator said he'd never heard any employer THAT pi$$ed and screaming.
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Old 10-03-2019, 06:32 AM
 
Location: NJ
23,789 posts, read 33,249,189 times
Reputation: 30590
Quote:
Originally Posted by Serious Conversation View Post
I have posted several times about my mother retiring. Mom turns 62 on the 19th. Dad will continue to work, but mom has several health issues and has been wanting to retire for a year or two now. They have low six figures in investment accounts, a bit of home equity, and several small pensions (couple hundred here and there) from the various places they've worked. My guess is their total net worth is between $150,000 - $200,000.

The house and one car are not paid for. He makes around $60,000 a year in a physical job and her SS check at 62 is going to be around $1,000/month. She had been planning on leaving the 17th of this month. Frankly, they're not financially ready for her to retire and don't seem to have planned it carefully, but mom is getting out of there come hell or high water.

She's been complaining about work and her colleagues a lot for the better part of a year now. She got a new manager she doesn't like. They're understaffed. No one else is carrying the mail. Standard office politics. Mom is generally out of the office at least part of the day one day a week for doctor's appointments, sometimes two, and has been calling in sick a lot over the last few months. Where I'm at, being out of the office that much would get you in trouble, and probably fired.

She was telling me on Friday about how bad it was. I told that she had something like thirteen working days left and to just suck it up.

What does mom actually do? She went off on her manager and her manager's manager yesterday about some coworkers talking excessively and that "if they can't keep the others quiet so she can concentrate, she'll just go home." Well, they fired her! She has this smug attitude about it and seems relieved that she's out of there.

Dad works evenings and I've only sent him a text, but he seemed furious with her. I have no idea what, if anything, she's left on the table by getting fired.

Do you know anyone who left on bad terms like this?
So sorry to hear your mom just couldn't suck it up. I'm not surprised either. Hopefully she'll be able to collect unemployment.

I guess her new life starts here. You'll see how much she's going to do at the house now that she's not working or if she's going to park her butt in the chair all day.
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Old 10-03-2019, 07:10 AM
 
Location: Traveling
7,019 posts, read 6,224,645 times
Reputation: 14648
Mine was a lay-off at age 55. Those of us who were laid off saw it coming, it was at the start of the recession, and it was a stressful time.

As much as I would have liked to tell my manager just what I thought of him, I didn't want to burn any bridges so kept my thoughts to myself. That was a good thing as those of us who were laid off were given a decent settlement and were also eligible for unemployment once that ended. It was also helpful in getting other employment until I finally got social security.

It's too bad your mom couldn't hold it together but, at this point, it is what it is. Hopefully she will receive unemployment.
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Old 10-03-2019, 07:27 AM
 
Location: TN/NC
34,822 posts, read 30,885,993 times
Reputation: 47106
Quote:
Originally Posted by Roselvr View Post
So sorry to hear your mom just couldn't suck it up. I'm not surprised either. Hopefully she'll be able to collect unemployment.

I guess her new life starts here. You'll see how much she's going to do at the house now that she's not working or if she's going to park her butt in the chair all day.
I met her and dad for lunch yesterday. He clearly doesn't seem happen, but is more or less resigned to the behavior.

I'm hoping she will pull a rabbit out of the hat and surprise everyone, but she's saying she needs to rest "for a long time." There is a lot to do at the house, and while I can see taking a week or two of downtime, she really needs to try and do something after that. We'll see, but I'm not optimistic.
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Old 10-03-2019, 07:55 AM
 
Location: Virginia
10,045 posts, read 6,315,743 times
Reputation: 27507
Nope, no bridges burned here. Several of us retired at the same time since the command was standing down as well, so our retirements were written as "adverse actions" and we got supplemental pay until we reached age 62. There was a command-wide ceremony, and handshakes and hugs from the Admiral and other senior staff. I enjoyed it all and still have my letters and commendations and card from the White House.
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Old 10-03-2019, 08:06 AM
 
Location: On the Chesapeake
44,901 posts, read 59,894,528 times
Reputation: 60438
Quote:
Originally Posted by Serious Conversation View Post
I met her and dad for lunch yesterday. He clearly doesn't seem happen, but is more or less resigned to the behavior.

I'm hoping she will pull a rabbit out of the hat and surprise everyone, but she's saying she needs to rest "for a long time." There is a lot to do at the house, and while I can see taking a week or two of downtime, she really needs to try and do something after that. We'll see, but I'm not optimistic.
After working her entire adult life why don't you just let her relax? Seriously, you're waaaay too involved in your parents' lives.

What "rabbit" exactly does she need to "pull out of a hat"? If she's 62 she has Social Security and, presumably, her pension. If she's vested there are a very limited number ways her now former employer can refuse to let it be disbursed.
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Old 10-03-2019, 08:23 AM
 
515 posts, read 356,609 times
Reputation: 2841
There is no way I want to burn anything when I go. Just give them a date, and when it comes say it has been a slice and I am out! Over the years I have learned that exit interviews and telling a company all the problems you see are pointless. They don't want to hear it even if it is the truth. I only quit one job out of anger, and I still think it was the right thing to do. No regrets. The supervisor just abused me for over a year and I finally had enough and told him off and left. They later brought me back as a subcontractor in a different department. So I had to see the jerk every once in awhile, but he had no power to do anything to me.
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Old 10-03-2019, 08:44 AM
 
Location: NJ
23,789 posts, read 33,249,189 times
Reputation: 30590
Quote:
Originally Posted by Serious Conversation View Post
I met her and dad for lunch yesterday. He clearly doesn't seem happen, but is more or less resigned to the behavior.

I'm hoping she will pull a rabbit out of the hat and surprise everyone, but she's saying she needs to rest "for a long time." There is a lot to do at the house, and while I can see taking a week or two of downtime, she really needs to try and do something after that. We'll see, but I'm not optimistic.
I'm not too hopeful that she'll get off her butt any time soon.

She should start taking pictures of the purses she has then find Facebook groups to sell them or sell on Facebook marketplace. That may give her (them) a little more money. The biggest issue is she's not going to get anywhere near what she paid for them unless it's a special bag where the designer didn't make many of such as a snake print bag. You don't see a lot of them and they're very desirable. It's been a while since I bought a purse; there used to be a buying and selling app for certain brands but they didn't include the brand I buy, B Makowsky.

Your father is lucky to have you be involved in their life; I don't care what anyone else says about you being too involved. If your parents are ok with you being involved then that's all that matters. Last thing you need is to end up having to support both of them. You're a great son to do all you do for them
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Old 10-03-2019, 09:05 AM
 
Location: TN/NC
34,822 posts, read 30,885,993 times
Reputation: 47106
Quote:
Originally Posted by Roselvr View Post
I'm not too hopeful that she'll get off her butt any time soon.

She should start taking pictures of the purses she has then find Facebook groups to sell them or sell on Facebook marketplace. That may give her (them) a little more money. The biggest issue is she's not going to get anywhere near what she paid for them unless it's a special bag where the designer didn't make many of such as a snake print bag. You don't see a lot of them and they're very desirable. It's been a while since I bought a purse; there used to be a buying and selling app for certain brands but they didn't include the brand I buy, B Makowsky.

Your father is lucky to have you be involved in their life; I don't care what anyone else says about you being too involved. If your parents are ok with you being involved then that's all that matters. Last thing you need is to end up having to support both of them. You're a great son to do all you do for them
I had a large delivery from Amazon sent over there instead of my condo where anyone could see it. I picked it up yesterday.

The trash was still at the road. Mail wasn't picked up. Mail was piled up on the kitchen counter and who knows how long it had been since it has been opened/read. The 20 year old cat didn't have any wet food and she was mad. Dad must have started some towels before he went to work and mom hadn't put them in the dryer.

I cleaned the bedroom while they were on vacation and she has no hoarded it up that the closest and window are inaccessible ago. It's extremely frustrating.
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Old 10-03-2019, 09:22 AM
 
8,005 posts, read 7,120,374 times
Reputation: 18162
Man, I feel bad for you. I imagine the situation is only going to get worse. You're fostering her behavior at this point. She knows that you'll take care of anything she ignores. Try staying away for a month and see what happens
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