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You are stricken with a disorder that the Japanese have named, "Retired Husband Syndrome."
Retired Husband Syndrome: Are Women Getting Sick of Their Husbands? | Jed Diamond ThirdAge Today (http://www.thirdage.com/today/mens-health/retired-husband-syndrome-are-women-getting-sick-of-their-husbands - broken link)
I did a Google search on- retired husband crazy
and got over 96,000 hits with titles like Does Your Retired Husband Drive You Crazy or My Husband Retired and He's Driving Me Crazy or Retired Husband? What To Do To Keep Sanity.
Try the Google search on those three search terms. You'll find others in the same boat as you.
I think you've gotten some good and practical advice from these readers.
I would just encourage you to take care of yourself - if that means a holiday on your own, a therapist, a massage once a week, a beauty appointment or a scheduled chat with a priest or minister, take care of yourself.
You can also try to negotiate something with your husband. Lay out what is bothering you and draw up a contract, if he is willing.
Did he help around the house before when both of you were working? It's hard to teach an old dog new housework but I agree he should help you.
This is going to sound terrible but my husband turned 50 in August and the company he worked for let their employees retired with full pension if they've worked there for 30 years (If they want to). So he decides to retire because he had his 30 years in and wasn't happy working there anymore. I was NOT agreeable to this. Now he is driving me crazy! He has no hobbies, we live in a boring small town, he refuses to get even a part time job (which he promised me he would), does nothing around the house...I could go on and on. So now I am so unhappy and depressed I am not enjoying my life.
Anybody have any advice of what I should do? We've been married 26 years and I really don't want to get a divorce.
I was booted out and given a pension at 42.
I agree that he needs to stay busy with something.
How long has it been?
I think that some guys just need to relax first, and to realize that they are bored, before they get the motivation to go do something.
I took early retirement with the same amount of years as your husband did at retirement. I was age 49, but I had a full time new career to go to when I took that retirement. For me I didn't feel at age 49 I could finacially live on my retirement income. The pension payment was a nice financial boost each month but not a liveable income, hence I had to work. I also didn't feel I was someone to sit around the house at such a young age. Maybe your husband doesn't feel financially he has to work. That is something you and him need to sit down and talk over. If you feel you are working because there is a financial need in your household while he collects his penison. Well then you definitely need to talk this arrangement over.
Take a deep breath and cut your husband some slack. I went from workaholic to retired one year ago and it takes a little time to figure out what you want to do with the rest of your life. He will figure it out. Good luck.
Thank you to everyone for your advice. I guess I should just be a little more supportive. It's only been four months since he retired so I will be patient and wait to see what he does in the next 6-12 months.
Take a deep breath and cut your husband some slack. I went from workaholic to retired one year ago and it takes a little time to figure out what you want to do with the rest of your life. He will figure it out. Good luck.
I agree with this. We retired when I was 38 and my husband was 40. We sold our home in one state (it sold immediately) and moved to another to retire in a small town on a lake. We thought that would be great. Well, after one year we were done with our small town and the lake.
You may think you want one thing in retirement only to find out that it isn't fulfilling enough. So you change things up and readjust and make different plans. (We will be moving once our home sells.)
I do have a job. I also hate my job ( and I can't quit for many reasons) and was hoping to be retired by the time I'm 55; but with him being retired now we can't afford to have me retired too.
Selfish he is! My 2 bits is that he could show a tad bit of LOVE here, get a job and put all his pay check into an IRA for you.
If you cannot afford to both be retierd, was your original plan to retire from your job at 55 while your husband continued to work? I only ask because it sounds that way, but you're unappy with the opposite situation.
That's unfair - even assuming the OP is the same age as her husband, that would have put her retirement at least 5 years into the future: 5 years of two incomes saving for retirement can make a huge difference. Depending on what her husband's pension and benefits are, that could well mean that her paycheck now has to cover far more than it did previously, meaning that she's not able to save for retirement now.
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One more thing...
