Making NEW friends.... (acquaintance, states, gift, engaged)

[nancy thereader]

hi barb,

Yes. I am in New York and I do know where Leisure Village is. Thanks for your post.

[NorthmeetsSouth]

Originally Posted by ConeyIsBabe

After my retirement I moved 3,000 miles away from s/FL to s/OR leaving behind all my friends and social contacts and familiar environment from living & working there over 30 years, to start a new life out west .... an adventure! It's been a good experience but I now realize that, five years later, I haven't made any NEW FRIENDS!! [/b]

I had ( and still have) a lot of friends in NY but when I moved to GA 15 years ago I made lots of acquaintences but no new friends. Part of the problem is that I have been too busy working to put any effort into developing a social life.
As I get closer to retiring I am looking into moving to another state. I think it will be much easier to pick up and move this time because, unlike my last move, I am not leaving a lot of close friends behind. I guess that is the "Glass half full" version of not having friends!

[MN2CO]

Coney - I happened to check your profile pic - great shot (who takes all these wonderful shots of you?) Cute pooch but I really love those flowers!!

[ConeyIsBabe]

Originally Posted by MN2CO

Coney - I happened to check your profile pic - great shot (who takes all these wonderful shots of you?) Cute pooch but I really love those flowers!!

Thanks! My (only) friend Jerry takes the pics of me! I live in such a very picturesque area where the natural beauty is all around!

However, I sure wish more people would post pics of themselves - and create photo albums of their surroundings. IMHO it enhances the networking aspect of communicating over the internet.

[MN2CO]

Until I get my camera back this will have to do:

[MN2CO]

Coney - Could it be the weather (lack of sunshine) that's getting to you? I know that I'm severely affected by gloomy days.

I know you want to wait it out so you can get as much for your property as possible, but your options in such a small community seem limited. Happiness is more important than $$ and from what I'm hearing, it's going to be a long time before real estate goes up and it may never reach what it was prior to this whole mess - at least not in our lifetime. I'm not trying to be the voice of doom and gloom - just reality. I waffle on this myself - constantly. I've decided (always subject to change ) that I'm not waiting until everything seems 'right" - who knows how long each of us has. Besides, I need to go white water rafting in CO while I can.

So, dream on but don't dream forever. You mentioned your neighbor sold their house - did she get what she wanted?

[ConeyIsBabe]

YES, winter in the PNW is bleak and gloomy; cold mornings and some days the sun never gets through the clouds or weather inversion. I am much happier when it's sunny and dry and I can go into town to walk around

My neighbor really did NOT get her desired price, however she was in a desperate situation and sold for about what she paid for the property 8 years ago.

As for me, I purchased at the height of the market, paid top dollar, and only want to recover my investment... but I'm not desperate!! so I'll hang in until circumstances warrant a change. Most importantly, I don't know where I want to move - Florida - California - Arizona ?

City-Data really has helped me to evaluate all my options and I value the personal opinion and experience of those who contribute

The adult community lifestyle is very tempting, mostly for the opportunity of making new friends!

[staywarm2]

Atlanta Metro Area Not Friendly Either
We moved here 5 years ago to the 'burbs to be near our grandchildren, which has been wonderful. HOWEVER, making friends has been extremely difficult. We have tried all sorts of things--attending neighborhood events (mostly ages 30's-40's), churches (4, but they are so large, you can't meet anyone), University talk groups (mostly young singles), jobs (they only want to talk about themselves), and other groups, etc. Nothing works and we've finally just given up and plan to move in a couple of years to somewhere more friendly.

I have even considered starting an age 60+ social group when we move. I saw that you can start something like this on meetup.com. I think a lot of people don't want to live in the 55+ communities because of restrictions, HOA fees, etc., but would like to have the social network. I would love to belong to a group that meets every couple of weeks (or more often) for movies, lunches or dinners out, plays, or even bowling and sporting events, etc.

We had lots of friends in both our home state and then in FL when we lived there for 12 years. It's a cool place here, where people seem very self-involved. Sure I can listen to them talk about themselves for 30 min., but if they show absolutely no interest in anything regarding me, that's it--boring! Sometimes I wish I'd stayed in my home state, even though the weather was lousy!

So think twice before you leave your friends and family.

[returningtonepa???]

Originally Posted by ConeyIsBabe

I wrote about this in the Social Group "Retired Singles" but thought it might make an interesting new thread in the Retirement Forum.

After my retirement I moved 3,000 miles away from s/FL to s/OR leaving behind all my friends and social contacts and familiar environment from living & working there over 30 years, to start a new life out west .... an adventure! It's been a good experience but I now realize that, five years later, I haven't made any NEW FRIENDS!!

I take full responsibility for that.... I'm not extremely outgoing; however I am friendly and I am motivated to make friends.... ladies to hang out with for shopping, usual girl-stuff. It just hasn't happened !

I briefly tried volunteering at my local Community Center, one mile away, but they don't really have the need. There are certainly many other volunteering opportunities in Grants Pass but winter travel is an issue, and honestly I'm not keen on making a committment

Perhaps this issue should be a consideration for those contemplating retirement and relocation.

i also moved away from s fla when i retired---things are so different in northern small towns---very little neighborliness

[beablessing]

We've moved to three states in the last 11+ years, post-retirement. I'm not particularly extroverted but need a social life, so what has worked best for me was to get involved in our various communities through volunteering. You can wind up working harder than had you kept a full-time job, LOL, if you so choose. The benefit is that by contributing to a greater cause you meet like-minded people, some of whom you may actually like.

In our last location, I joined a Newcomer's Club, which helped tremendously. Again, you may only form genuine relationships with one or two, but it's an outlet. I also co-founded a lunch group which met monthly. While I only knew my fellow co-founder, the group doubled from a half dozen or so over the course of 3 years. I've held dinners where I've invited one or two friends and asked the invitees to bring their favorite friend(s). I've formed a reading group, and attended concerts with neighbors who over time became dear friends. With the economic downturn, we'll likely be downsizing a moving yet again. I'm actually looking forward to the move as a chance to develop new friendships. With a little effort, one can build a network. Life is so short; enjoy the journey!