Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
We're thinking of buying a Trilogy home when we retire. My question is can my adult child also live with us or visit for a few weeks at a time without us being fined?
Why do you feel the need to control your FIL's sex life? If he can dance vertically, seems like the horizontal bop ought to be in the picture as well.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bette
I was thinking of taking of my FIL up to The Villages but after reading the above about STD's, not so sure. He loves to dance with the ladies but we don't need it going further than that (he is 87) and just broke his hip but is recovering.
We're thinking of buying a Trilogy home when we retire. My question is can my adult child also live with us or visit for a few weeks at a time without us being fined?
It's only been a couple of weeks since I initiated this thread but, so far, NO singles living in adult communities have responded. Perhaps they are out and about enjoying their lifestyle too much to communicate?
Well, I'm still hoping some singles, who actually live in one of those Over-55-Communities will give us the "real scoop" on "LIFE AS A SINGLE, IN AN ADULT COMMUNITY"
know this is an older post, but my MIL lived as a single in a large adult retirement and generally did not like it. It may have been her or it could have been them but she did not find the friendliness amongst women that she thought she would have found. She found them competitive toward available men. And she felt alone.
MIL did start off doing activities such as taking painting lessons but ended up just setting an easel up at her house. In the end, she sold her place in the community and moved to a normal subdivision community and preferred that.
yourowntwofeet, I strongly agree with your opinion at #22.
I think it is offensive that a relative would try to control an 87 yr old father-in-law's sex life or romantic life.
And on the slim chance that he would get an STD, it makes very little difference, as many STD's are not dire at all, and antibiotics take care of them.
An 87 yr old is still a human being who needs affection & love, if available, and romantic activity or sexual activity would be welcome to many.
Relatives trying to control an 87 yr old's sex life or romantic life is demeaning and offensive, treating him as if he isn't even a viable human being any longer......particularly a man of that age who is still able to dance, enjoy dancing, and enjoy life.
Last edited by matisse12; 10-02-2015 at 06:04 PM..
yourowntwofeet, I strongly agree with your opinion at #22.
I think it is offensive that a relative would try to control an 87 yr old father-in-law's sex life or romantic life.
And on the slim chance that he would get an STD, it makes very little difference, as many STD's are not dire at all, and antibiotics take care of them.
An 87 yr old is still a human being who needs affection & love, if available, and romantic activity or sexual activity would be welcome to many.
Relatives trying to control an 87 yr old's sex life or romantic life is demeaning and offensive, treating him as if he isn't even a viable human being any longer......particularly a man of that age who is still able to dance, enjoy dancing, and enjoy life.
One of the writers in my group wrote about her dad, who is now 90, and how after he lost his wife he felt isolated and alone and wanted female intimacy again. She actually made a dr. appt for him and drove him there and sat in with him, so she could best understand and help him achieve his goal. What a great daughter.
As an aside, the singer Tony Bennett, is turning 90 and he is not only a viable human being, he still does a massive number of singing tour dates every year, records new material, makes guest appearances on TV and elsewhere, is an accomplished artist and painter, and is thriving.
He and his 49 yr old wife of 8 years do a lot of philanthropic work together, and he created, opened, and funds a whole school for the arts in one of the boroughs of New York City where young people do their high school work while developing themselves as performers and learning the performing arts.
Consider saying that 89 yr old Tony Bennett should not have a romantic life, have zero sexual activity, and should be kept away from women with whom he may develop an enjoyable relationship. And yes, I realize that all 87 yr old and 89 yr old men do not have the cognition and functioning of Tony Bennett, but many do.
Last edited by matisse12; 10-03-2015 at 01:35 PM..
We don't live in a active adult community but we do sell houses in one. After watching it for years some observations.
First there is nothing in the law that prevents a child from living there if the child is over 18. Below 18 no way except a visit. Above 18 no problem. The law in fact simply requires that one household member be over 55. There may be CC&R restriction but nothing in the law.
Single men do very well. When a wife is lost the mean time to a new partner is generally months and almost always someone the prior couple had known.
Females don't do as well though many still like it. The gals that are social seem to do very well. A lot of the problem is that the surviving class has a definite female preponderance.
If you are not social or into the arts and crafts or some other such you probably should avoid active adult. Periodically we come on a couple who have lost the ability to participate and are really living pretty badly. They really should go to an assisted living facility or move in with family.
lvoc, would you say that the "flip" side is that if you are not social/into the arts and crafts stuff, and are able to live actively on your own, then over-55 communities would not be a good choice for you, either?
Not trying to put words in your mouth; just wondering.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lvoc
If you are not social or into the arts and crafts or some other such you probably should avoid active adult. Periodically we come on a couple who have lost the ability to participate and are really living pretty badly. They really should go to an assisted living facility or move in with family.
lvoc, would you say that the "flip" side is that if you are not social/into the arts and crafts stuff, and are able to live actively on your own, then over-55 communities would not be a good choice for you, either?
Not trying to put words in your mouth; just wondering.
Active adult can be less friendly than a normal neighborhood if you don't take advantage of its systems and capabilities. If you don't use the capabilities they will likely work against you...there is this whole social web you are in the middle of...but not part of. It can actually isolate you.
And it costs a good bit. So why pay to be unhappy?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
