Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
all this talk of cruises and rv'ing is making me wish my little one would hurry up and move out, and then that makes me sad. LOL
Enjoy both phases of your life to the maximum, the worst thing you could do is wish your life away for a better tomorrow. Plan wisely, and you'll have a great today and a better tomorrow!
Enjoy both phases of your life to the maximum, the worst thing you could do is wish your life away for a better tomorrow. Plan wisely, and you'll have a great today and a better tomorrow!
You are so right on this. That is why I was sad that I even had that thought.
I must say, we have been on many trips this year, but it has been either I by myself without my youngest son and dh, or i with my mom, mother in law or older son or something. I did go the last trip and take my youngest, but dh was doing other things.
We own our own businesses, and can take off time if we really need/want to, but dh is a work a holic and just is not comfortable unless he is involved in projects that are time sensitive which he has been all summer. SIgh.
This question is for anyone else who retired before age 60.
I retired five years ago at age 53, after working fulltime ever since age 18. My father died unexpectedly in 2001 and I inherited his house, life insurance and retirement policies, et cetera. I decided to sell his house plus my own, because I'd fallen in love with an "older house with great character" (this is a euphemism for "Money Pit", by the way; I see elsewhere on the forum there's a young man who believes he can purchase an older home for $50,000 and spend no more than $2000 on repairs and improvements – he certainly is in for a rude awakening!) which I subsequently bought and spent almost three years restoring and repairing.
All of my friends, family and acquaintances are, however, still working full-time. I am the only one who has retired and at every social gathering someone ALWAYS asks the dreaded question: "So, what are you DOING with yourself nowadays? Are you WORKING?" in the tone of voice that implies rather "Are you still being a layabout, or have you decided to return to doing something productive?" During the years I was restoring the house, I at least had that "excuse", but it is now finished. I get the unmistakable sense that people feel there is no earthly reason why a healthy single childless 58-year-old woman of education and reasonable intelligence should not be still in the workforce… other than sheer laziness or irresponsibility, that is, neither of which has ever been the case. I have sometimes felt guilty enough to actually lie and say that I am doing temporary-employment work! That always results in a response of "Oh really? That's very nice" and the conversation turns elsewhere; but if I instead evade the question by answering "Oh, this and that", it continues on into more of a third-degree investigation: "But what exactly do you DO with all that free time?" There are times when I am tempted to reply "None of your bloody business" but of course I never do…
So I am wondering if others who chose early retirement feel, or are made to feel, uncomfortable or somehow 'guilty' about it at times?
We don't feel guilty, but I will admit that our early retirement has caused resentment in our families. I refuse to feel guilty about the fact that we are enjoying the benefits of having worked hard, invested wisely, and saved our pennies. Never the less, we don't talk about our retirement activities very much at family gatherings becuase it sets off the following family dynamic:
My mother in law is bitter because "she had to work her fingers to the bone" to raise my husband and she didn't get to retire early. She frequently points out that her husband worked until the day he died, as if this was a noble accomplishment.
Some of our siblings are competitive--some of them feel that they need to either retire early themselves (even though they haven't prepared for it), and the others make snide remarks about us. My little sister's natural problems with insecurity have run amok as she finally realizes she hasn't saved much over the years and she probably won't ever be able to retire. My older brother, who always had the "role" of "family winner" has started spending money on luxuries he can't really afford, all the while saying he's glad he isn't retiring because that's why he can do all these luxurious things.
We spent our working years living very simply (because early retirement was always our plan). We didn't buy designer clothes or eat out at expensive restaurants, etc. Our relatives interpreted our simple lifestyle as meaning we were "poor" and "not smart about money." Suddenly we are no longer the "family losers" and that makes some of our siblings very uncomfortable. I'm sure in time it will all balance out, but right now Thanksgiving and other family get togethers are the scene of a lot of snide remarks. That's ok, though. We had a goal (early retirement). We achieved our goal, and we love our life now. That's more important than a little family insecurity.
Note: the same thing happened in my family the first time someone bought a house, and also the first time someone got engaged.
And, for that matter, the first time one of us remodeled her kitchen and got granite counter tops. You should have seen how jealous my borther got then!!! You should have heard the caustic comments--you would think she had personally dug the strip mine and raped the Earth of her most precious rock. My mother moaned about how my sister had become shallow. By brothers and sister sniped about her ecological crime and her bad investment and how her granite counter tops were going to cripple her children's college fund. My little sister claimed she had read a newspaper article about how the contractors for a granite company broke into the house a month ater and robbed the homeowners.
...and then, within 3 years, everyone in my family had a granite counter top. Go figure.
...oh, and if you feel the need to tell people about a "productive project" tell them you are writing a book.
That's the sort of project that impresses people, and years can go by without needing to show them anything. If you don't like the idea of telling a white lie, it's an easy project to take on. Who knows--in time you might even publish it and discover a hidden talent.
If they continue to needle you, tell them it's a murder mystery and periodically write down little notes whenever your family gets snide. Then tell them you need some good quotes for your victim to say right before he gets whacked....
This question is for anyone else who retired before age 60.
I retired five years ago at age 53, after working fulltime ever since age 18. My father died unexpectedly in 2001 and I inherited his house, life insurance and retirement policies, et cetera. I decided to sell his house plus my own, because I'd fallen in love with an "older house with great character" (this is a euphemism for "Money Pit", by the way; I see elsewhere on the forum there's a young man who believes he can purchase an older home for $50,000 and spend no more than $2000 on repairs and improvements – he certainly is in for a rude awakening!) which I subsequently bought and spent almost three years restoring and repairing.
All of my friends, family and acquaintances are, however, still working full-time. I am the only one who has retired and at every social gathering someone ALWAYS asks the dreaded question: "So, what are you DOING with yourself nowadays? Are you WORKING?" in the tone of voice that implies rather "Are you still being a layabout, or have you decided to return to doing something productive?" During the years I was restoring the house, I at least had that "excuse", but it is now finished. I get the unmistakable sense that people feel there is no earthly reason why a healthy single childless 58-year-old woman of education and reasonable intelligence should not be still in the workforce… other than sheer laziness or irresponsibility, that is, neither of which has ever been the case. I have sometimes felt guilty enough to actually lie and say that I am doing temporary-employment work! That always results in a response of "Oh really? That's very nice" and the conversation turns elsewhere; but if I instead evade the question by answering "Oh, this and that", it continues on into more of a third-degree investigation: "But what exactly do you DO with all that free time?" There are times when I am tempted to reply "None of your bloody business" but of course I never do…
So I am wondering if others who chose early retirement feel, or are made to feel, uncomfortable or somehow 'guilty' about it at times?
Wow, talk about sour grapes! Anyone who tries to make you feel uncomfortable/guilty is very jealous of you!!
Amen to retiring early. Guilt? Yes... at first. Imagine yourself dropping out of the race at 32 while all your friends and family continue struggling through the grind. But someone reminded us here that "guilt" is only legitimate if you've done something WRONG. Is retiring early wrong? ... Fear of jealousy is probably a more accurate description than guilt. Unfortunately I have encountered jealousy from peers. I'd like to think I'm setting an example for what's possible, but our culture seems heavily programmed to think retirement should be at 65. SCREW THAT! I'd rather live simply and enjoy my LIFE. Do ya feel me?
The health insurance is a significant cost ($4k/year), but not as bad as it will be when I'm over 50. I'd sooner have less insurance and use my abundant free time (being retired) to stay in shape, eat well, and learn to do things myself to keep expenses low so I can STAY retired.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Retired @ 32
