U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
 
Old 11-12-2008, 08:08 AM
 
Location: West, Southwest, East & Northeast
3,446 posts, read 6,588,413 times
Reputation: 868

Advertisements

I'm not sure why anyone would (or should) feel guilty when they retire early, any more than feeling guilty about doing anything else as long as it is legal. As long as it's acceptable in your own mind there should be no guilt felt whatsoever. Some (often many) people will be jealous of you for a wide range of things. That's their problem, because you cannot control how someone else thinks or feels. I don't live my life or make decisions based on others outside my immediate family. If I did I would never do anything that I wanted to do...only doing things I "think" would satisfy others. I think it is always best to live your own life and do what "you" want to do, not living it based on how others think you should. That just doesn't make any sense to me at all, and shows a very narrow-minded view of yourself. I cannot relate to that type of thinking at all.

Last edited by Kootr; 11-12-2008 at 08:23 AM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 11-12-2008, 06:35 PM
 
2,317 posts, read 4,638,924 times
Reputation: 1248
feel guilty...about what,making the right choices in life...I'm proud to be retired at 49 a year already...people say the same thing...what are you doing
or are you going to get another job....hell no...I earned my retirement...
20 years in NYC law enforcement...life is too short...why would you feel guilty abouty about such a great accomplishment...when people ask me
oh,your not working...I just say...Oh your still working....decisions in life are
very important....be proud and thank God you where able to retire....
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-12-2008, 08:51 PM
 
Location: All around the world.....
2,886 posts, read 7,504,482 times
Reputation: 1048
Quote:
Quote:
Originally Posted by windflower View Post
This question is for anyone else who retired before age 60.

I retired five years ago at age 53, after working fulltime ever since age 18. My father died unexpectedly in 2001 and I inherited his house, life insurance and retirement policies, et cetera. I decided to sell his house plus my own, because I'd fallen in love with an "older house with great character" (this is a euphemism for "Money Pit", by the way; I see elsewhere on the forum there's a young man who believes he can purchase an older home for $50,000 and spend no more than $2000 on repairs and improvements – he certainly is in for a rude awakening!) which I subsequently bought and spent almost three years restoring and repairing.

All of my friends, family and acquaintances are, however, still working full-time. I am the only one who has retired and at every social gathering someone ALWAYS asks the dreaded question: "So, what are you DOING with yourself nowadays? Are you WORKING?" in the tone of voice that implies rather "Are you still being a layabout, or have you decided to return to doing something productive?" During the years I was restoring the house, I at least had that "excuse", but it is now finished. I get the unmistakable sense that people feel there is no earthly reason why a healthy single childless 58-year-old woman of education and reasonable intelligence should not be still in the workforce… other than sheer laziness or irresponsibility, that is, neither of which has ever been the case. I have sometimes felt guilty enough to actually lie and say that I am doing temporary-employment work! That always results in a response of "Oh really? That's very nice" and the conversation turns elsewhere; but if I instead evade the question by answering "Oh, this and that", it continues on into more of a third-degree investigation: "But what exactly do you DO with all that free time?" There are times when I am tempted to reply "None of your bloody business" but of course I never do…

So I am wondering if others who chose early retirement feel, or are made to feel, uncomfortable or somehow 'guilty' about it at times?

I don't now, but I used to feel a little wierd, with everyone gettting up on cold mornings early to hustle into the workplace;
most of these feelings came from little snide and subtle remarks made by those who were closest to me I might add
I used to sy some of things you said to them, until I started thinking on the 24 hour work days or the 4 days straight I used to do, and the fact that I started working hard at 15 and 16.
And besides I can find plenty to do in hobbies, helping people etc. and when I feel I need a little extra , self employed does the trick..
I'll do that until my body says otherwise, (aggravated my disability)
But sure, I have a few people that I know that are retired.
I know for sure that some of these loved ones are envious, and want to see you suffer , "misery loves company" but they should of thought of this, when they were talking about me like a dog for going into the military,
Thanks for your thread
I thought I was in the minority group feeling the same way
But nope.. I thank God for it...
God Bless You
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-12-2008, 09:06 PM
 
Location: All around the world.....
2,886 posts, read 7,504,482 times
Reputation: 1048
Quote:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dingler View Post
My father retired early and it hurt him. He used to tell anyone who would listen how happy he was not working but would always be talking about how wonderful his job and career was and would always talk about the past and his career success. He lived for the past and really did not have a sense of purpose once he retired.

When I retire I want to work part time teaching and have a long list of things to keep me busy.

I was unemployed for awhile and would go to the Mall and see all these old men sitting in the same chair watching everyone walk by. They looked alone and bored. I use to wonder if they were important people once who had lots people hanging on their every word. Now in retirementl, they were all alone.



Dingler,
these older men are probably [Ijust "chillin"[/i] at the mall
remember they are old.. you can't see through their eyes;
I'm sure that there may be one or two people anywhere that have no purpose in life, and this doesn't necessarily have to be retired not to have a purpose..
everyone has a purpose in life~even if you can't see it
God Bless You
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-13-2008, 08:59 AM
 
48,516 posts, read 83,912,172 times
Reputation: 18050
Hey;those old guys are doing what so many younger peole you see at the mall do;hanging out. But usually they are walking for excercise.I have never felt guilty because I retired early.I fact;I think at did a good job planning and opened up a job to some younger guy.Never even crosssed my mind in fact;until I saw tisi thread and thought about it.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-13-2008, 02:58 PM
 
Location: Forests of Maine
30,680 posts, read 49,437,227 times
Reputation: 19129
Guilty?

no.

I retired at 42. I took my pension and ran with it.

What is there to be guilty about?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-14-2008, 11:03 AM
 
2,317 posts, read 4,638,924 times
Reputation: 1248
Quote:
Originally Posted by forest beekeeper View Post
Guilty?

no.

I retired at 42. I took my pension and ran with it.

What is there to be guilty about?

you did the right thing..no one is promised tommorrow...God bless you and enjoy...some people just don't know any better so they knock what they don't understand...
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-15-2008, 01:43 PM
 
4,628 posts, read 9,272,691 times
Reputation: 4238
Quote:
Originally Posted by 4StanleyCups View Post
That's the only real problem for me (early retired too). I took COBRA for as long as I could but it was still expensive ($700/mo). After the 18 mos ran out (in 2003) I haven't had any health insurance. I pay as I go, luckily I can afford to do that UNLESS something catastrophic happens.

Yeah I know it's gambling but it would cost at least $1300/mo (single person) and I'd rather have that 16 grand/year in the bank earning interest for me than handing it over to some insurance company.

p.s. Oh by the way, No I don't feel guilty AT ALL about retiring early.
As of next month, I'll be in the same boat, insurance-wise. The cost, even with working part-time, has gone up dramatically. Yup, it is a gamble not having insurance, but by having insurance, one is gambling that one will incur a catastrophic illness. (At least, that's what I tell my self to feel better).

Quote:
Originally Posted by forest beekeeper View Post
I took my pension and ran with it.
That's the spirit!

No reason to feel any guilt whatsoever. I know that I am fortunate in that I didn't hit any roadblocks on my way to early retirement, and that things easily could have been different.

I tell people who claim how "lucky" I am to have retired early, that they are "so lucky" to have a job where they can get affordable insurance. In my case, it was a trade-off, I had insurance as long as I could afford it. I also had a rather large change in standard - not quality - of living. No going out to buy whatever I want, whenever I want.

But I have ne'er a single regret. Life is indeed too short. So, at my first opportunity, I ran for the door and never looked back. Godspeed to everyone ~
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-30-2008, 02:44 PM
 
15 posts, read 30,216 times
Reputation: 16
I have to say that I am really "jealous" about those who do not feel guilty after retiring early!
I am nearly 56 retired about a year for now, I just can't stop regreting my early retirement.
I feel as if the world has stopped for me.
I appreciate any help to go over such state of mind. I am just suffering.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-30-2008, 06:49 PM
 
Location: DC Area, for now
3,517 posts, read 12,050,067 times
Reputation: 2141
Quote:
Originally Posted by youcef View Post
I have to say that I am really "jealous" about those who do not feel guilty after retiring early!
I am nearly 56 retired about a year for now, I just can't stop regreting my early retirement.
I feel as if the world has stopped for me.
I appreciate any help to go over such state of mind. I am just suffering.
Perhaps you are one of those people who need an outside-imposed structure to your life to be happy. Or perhaps you need the status and definition of yourself that the job provided. Have you considered finding a volunteer job? Various charities need all the help they can get.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top