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Old 04-25-2009, 02:30 PM
336 posts, read 827,883 times
Reputation: 137


Originally Posted by cls88 View Post
Great idea! I'll remember that when I retire. It starts to look like I don't need so much savings for retirement with all these good ideas posted here. I have started a list. Thanks.
You're very welcome!
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Old 04-25-2009, 03:10 PM
Location: Lakewood OH
19,290 posts, read 20,165,752 times
Reputation: 27808
See, here's the thing. We as hard working-middle class people go along thinking that all we have to do is the "right thing;" work hard, save our money, live modestly and it helps to have some type of religion to complete the picture.

We believe welfare is for lazy people and only those who work deserve insurance. We believe that if we get sick, our insurance plan through our employers will take care of us, after all we have paid in for many years. We don't know that insurance companies pay our bills out of stock investments, not our premiums and when the market tanks they pay less and less. We vaguely believe that if, in the very unlikely event that we become financially troubled, there is this agency and that agency that will help us. But agencies need tax dollars to pay for this help and we don't like taxes even though we are allowing a huge chunk of our tax money to support a war we can no longer afford to fight.

When it happens; the severe illness, the job loss, the savings gone. Where do we go? The streets? It's a funny thing but when this happened to me and to others with whom I have shared my story a strange phenomenon occurs. Your family, who should be your first support becomes your last or not at all. You are a pariah. You failed. It's your fault. The elephant is in the room providing you still have a room.

My family couldn't or wouldn't accept my situation. They are in other states so they didn't have to witness my losing my little apartment or my furniture or my belongings. I held onto the cat the longest I didn't want to give her up for any reason. But my story is a happy one. Friends rallied and I was offered a place to stay by one and a job through another who really fought for me.

Government agencies? Don't kid yourself. Family? Likewise.

On this forum in the city part a woman once wrote her story which was so similar to mine it could have been me. She was so eloquent. Her college education and long time job as an executive gave her that. But hard times hit her and she was in bad shape. She was in her 50's so age discrimination was a problem. Her health was deteriorating because she could not afford medical treatment. She slept on the couches of friends but felt she was wearing out her welcome. Her story was long and sad. At the end she said she didn't even know why she was posting it but she had come to ask the question "What happens to someone like me?"

She answered her question by saying she supposed she would just fade away. She was tired and had given up. She never posted again.

In the past we never thought "this could happen to me." In these times we are wondering if it can. There never has been help for this type of situation. Other countries consider medical care, education and taking care of people as a right of the People. Here we call it a burden or "evil Socialism" or some such silly thing.

What is the answer? I don't know. We are told "buy, buy, buy" to keep the economy strong. Then we are told "be frugal, go to thrift stores, don't by Christmas presents" and so forth while retailers wring their hands in despair. We are based on a consumer economy that is consuming us.

What's to become of a Society such as ours and the way it has been going? If it doesn't change it will die. Maybe the future will be brighter. I don't know. But we have to ask ourselves what to do now; if we want a future we will have to start changing the present.

This is a great thread. Keep it up, everyone.

Last edited by Minervah; 04-25-2009 at 03:11 PM.. Reason: clarity
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Old 04-25-2009, 03:25 PM
54,906 posts, read 57,275,254 times
Reputation: 35099
Originally Posted by TuborgP View Post
Poor people tend to have more kids than the 2.2 average and the question becomes how successful are those kids.

i always wondered what that .2 kid looks like?
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Old 04-25-2009, 03:27 PM
54,906 posts, read 57,275,254 times
Reputation: 35099
Originally Posted by TuborgP View Post
What this thread and many others reflect is how the breakdown of the American family is coming back to haunt folks in their senior years. Divorce can be a retirement killer.
divorce isnt soooo bad,, at least she only gets half ha ha ha... stay together and see what that cost
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Old 04-25-2009, 03:55 PM
Location: Baltimore, MD
3,538 posts, read 3,549,748 times
Reputation: 6227
Originally Posted by mathjak107 View Post
divorce isnt soooo bad,, at least she only gets half ha ha ha... stay together and see what that cost
I'm not sure if you're referring to social security retirement benefits, but if you are... it's still cheaper to keep her (unless H remarries). Example: H receives $1,500 in SS Retirement benefits. W receives minimum $750 (on H's SS record.) Total household soc. sec. income equals $2250/mth. H & W divorce, H still gets $1500, ex-wife gets $750. H remarries, new household now gets $2250 and ex-wife continues to receive $750. Even better, H dies (sorry guys) ex-wife gets $1500/mth and so does current wife. Doesn't matter how many ex-wives as long as each marriage lasted at least ten years. Given the current state of Social Security, I can't imagine Congress will allow this to continue.

The reality is that even before divorces skyrocketed, a huge number of widows lived in poverty. Now, however, there will be many more older women living in poverty.
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Old 04-25-2009, 06:41 PM
Location: Sacramento, CA, USA
84 posts, read 181,166 times
Reputation: 52
Wink Doom and Gloom reign for a day

Originally Posted by lenora View Post
The reality is that even before divorces skyrocketed, a huge number of widows lived in poverty. Now, however, there will be many more older women living in poverty.
THAT'S why I was drawn to the thread "Women Retiring Alone .... ". There are many more older women living in poverty. We can make it better by sticking together! (Hmmmmm... great slogan)

Hey LiveContent -- Get A Divorce!!

Minervah - You are very blessed to have such caring friends who take care of you when you are down and out.

PAAALLLLEEEAAAAASSSEEE don't get me started on Section 8 housing assistance!
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Old 04-25-2009, 06:48 PM
26 posts, read 56,835 times
Reputation: 29
Originally Posted by Huckleberry3911948 View Post
not able to take her in or won't???
dont think we got a poor old lady problem i think we got a rotten kid problem.
see a lota that.
I have a mother in-law who's single. She has no other family in the states except for her two kids. She lives near us in virginia and her daughter lives in texas with her husband and his parents. Like the lady I mentioned starting up this thread, she too does not have any money saved. She worked all her life and will work as long as she can. Currently, making barely enough to get by every month (we have to help her financially starting from next month).

I seriously care about what happens to her and spent long hours thinking about what would be best for everybody. I assumed that she was going to move to texas and live with her daughter. She would just have to stay home and watch her grand daughter. I recently spoke to my sister in-law and found out that she's no longer welcomed cause of her husband(they have lived with my mother in-law for 2years + before they moved in with his parents).

I cannot live with my mother in-law, she literally drives me crazy. It's to a point where if I did end up taking her in, my mental health will be . My husband doesn't exactly have warm friendly relationship with his mother either, which doesn't help one bit. She's not a bad evil person, but with very unusual strange personality in my book. We just do not get along at all. Since she lives alone(we used to be not in touch at all for awhile), we try to visit her about twice a month and even that I have hard time being with her. My husband doesn't say anything to me cause he knows where I'm coming from and witnessed what I went through. I feel sorry for my husband cause I too know his position.

Would I be considered "rotten kid"?
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Old 04-25-2009, 09:03 PM
4,948 posts, read 15,274,434 times
Reputation: 2814
The one and only solution I can think about is: If maybe she gets a roommate, somebody also
who is finding it real hard to survive. It may not be ideal, but it give both more money, and a way to try to save money. With the economy now, anyone with a job is blessed! Food, if she does belong to a church, or not many do have food pantrys where that may help some! All I do think of is in the fifty
the tv show the life of Riley. Also many people now are planting there own food, and yes, sharing,
even in an apartment it may be done! Fifty is not that old now!
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Old 04-25-2009, 09:17 PM
Location: fla
1,511 posts, read 2,580,281 times
Reputation: 707
Originally Posted by Morwyn_7 View Post

I completely agree with you. Alas there are many older women, who for whatever reason, have only social security to fall back on in their later years. And not everyone has family to move in with either at this stage of life.

Also $700 would be considered a low rent in my area.

so true--i cannot afford it on my ss check--so my single dtr lives with me--so i have very little freedom--lots of rules(hers)and actually saw my recent hospitalization as a welcome break-----would run away,but need an electric scooter to do that---sigh!
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Old 04-26-2009, 07:12 AM
Location: Tennessee
32,670 posts, read 29,842,271 times
Reputation: 46048
Originally Posted by RedViolin View Post
I know someone who is in their mid 50's single woman. She lives at 55+ senior apartment, barely making enough to cover her rent($725 lowest it can get in this town) and bills. Retiring isn't possible for her since she has no savings. Her only family is her two grown up kids but they're not able to take her in. My concern is her getting laid off from her current job, leaving her with no income. Is there any government programs that help out seniors in similliar situation as hers? Any information is much appreciated!
If she's only in her mid 50s, so she isn't techically a senior, why isn't she asking the questions and doing the research? If she doesn't have a computer in her home, she can use the ones in the library for free. If she doesn't know how, why isn't she making phone calls or writing letters to get information while she's still working and years from collecting social security? Is there something wrong with this woman physically or mentally that makes her unable to do this for herself?
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