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I am also very sorry for your loss Livecontent. Painfull passage in life.
For my mom I have Neptune Society all ready to go when the time comes. They even gave me a little plastic urn and I am sure she would not mind it being plastic and not gold. She will not be sitting on my mantle or in a closet. They have a really wonderful new product that takes the ashes and turns it into a sculpture of sorts and it becomes part of a coral colony that is begining to thrive. That is where I want to go as well. It was very reasonalbe.
Location: Monterey Bay, California -- watching the sea lions, whales and otters! :D
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Livecontent, I, too, offer my condolences -- you're a good son. She was lucky to have you!
I am going to visit my dad soon, back east, who is in a nursing home with Alzheimer's. Although speaking to one of my sisters, all the preparation I wanted to do (with photos, writings, etc.) she thinks will be kind of worthless. Apparently, his girlfriend of 30 years (my mother died a long time ago), gave him photos of herself and her family members, and he has them in a drawer in his room -- when he goes through them he says, "Who the H**l are THESE people?" Well, the best laid plans......
Then if his girlfriend isn't visiting, he'll say, "Whatever happened to....[insert girlfriend's name] -- did she die?" So, I am not sure what will happen....
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StealthRabbit: Along the lines of 'shoestring' and cremation... A few yrs ago I couldn't get my siblings to agree on cremation for my dad, so... I took him on a 2,000 mile 'road-trip', and arranged for a rented backhoe to do the 'planting'. It was very cheap to fly him, BUT the Nebraska funeral lobby is very forceful, and REQUIRES a funeral home to pick up the body from airport. They wanted $1900 for the task. That was $1900 out of my grocery fund (at $100/month) so... a 'road-trip' was a good option to avoid starvation. I got a 'transit permit', strapped him in (econo casket), and off we set. We went to all his favorite places in Idaho, Wyoming, and SD, but skipped Colorado. I was able to pick up a nice 'last year's model' plastic burial vault in Afton, WY for 50% off (b'cuz it was Gold, not Blue. I'm sure gold was OK with dad, even tho he liked blue. (these folks were very nice (typical WYO) and helped with a forklift to 'seal / strap' the vault / casket). It was a very 'healing' trip for a rocky 50 yr relationship (with me doing his care for the last 32 of that). I was the 'evil' child many times by choices I was forced to make for him. I do feel well about the burial and final road trip. I blew TAPS for him on his own trumpet that he had played in that cemetery countless times. May he rest in peace. (he certainly didn't have it during life).
I'm sorry, but I was laughing so hard at this -- my apologies. OMG, it sounds like a movie! You have got to write this stuff down, do a screen play, something. I mean, these are great stories!
Good thing you have Casa Grande! Too bad no one wants to buy it. Add a few of your stories in, and they might want it -- they'll say, "And the woman who owned this place before us....let me tell you some of her stories...!"
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Cap1717: Just for kicks, I provide the opening lines of "Red Right Returning"
"They put his body in a wooden boat
They floated it out on the lake
It was like a Christmas Tree
It was like a Birthday Cake
They soaked it in kerosine
They soaked it in gasoline
It was soaked in memories
And it burned like the love between, you and me. *
Wisteria, if you want to hear the song, type Pat Maloney into your browser. . .I'm pretty sure he has a link to that one on his website. . . really a terrific song!
I can't reach the site you posted from work, either, so can't tell if it is the same song. . . I know for sure that there are at least 2 with the same name. Pat's song starts with the lyrics I quoted.
Location: Monterey Bay, California -- watching the sea lions, whales and otters! :D
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This is what they say on their video clip:
"I will burn in time; I will burn in my grandchildren's minds…" The music is "Red Right Returning," written and sung by Pat Maloney. In this case it expresses the bonds forged between grandparents and their grandchildren on a weeklong intergenerational houseboat elderhostel on Lake Powell in the summer of 2005.
So, it seems like it's his song -- I couldn't find anything on Youtube with him alone, but this seems authentic. (And it does start with those same lyrics you posted!) He's got a very soulful, wailing voice. Good song.
So, it seems like it's his song -- I couldn't find anything on Youtube with him alone, but this seems authentic. (And it does start with those same lyrics you posted!) He's got a very soulful, wailing voice. Good song.
You are right, that is Pat's song. . . one of my fav's from amoung his many terrific songs! He is probably the best songwriter I've ever heard. . . such lyrics are not common!
Live Content- So very sorry for the loss of your mom. It truly sounds like you have been a blessing to your parents. Being the adult child of an aging and/or ill parent is surely not for the faint of heart. There are just no easy choices even when you know the right one is being made. My condolences and best wishes to you and your family.
I can't say enough about the wonderful care hospice provides. I first became acquainted with our local hospice (started by a local woman in the wake of her younger husband's death) some years ago. My best friend's mom was dying of brain cancer. I spent quite a bit of time there and they provided the most kind, comforting and compassionate care not only to their patients but to their families as well.
Stealth Rabbit- So sorry also for the loss of your friend.
Your story about your dad reinforced something that I have heard often before--that the adult child who is the (primary) caregiver and who makes their best effort to do the right thing over the long haul is often the one most in disfavor with the parent being cared for (and sometimes with other family members too). Still that dedication to doing the right thing remains.
Your stories really are interesting, Stealth. Sounds like you lead a full and busy life, but we want to know when your book is coming out.
With the previous recommendation of the 'deceased'. (of course)
You oughtta hear the story of the undertaker I found for my dad (< $600 for the whole package).
He was a transplanted Canadian who had just about died waiting for cancer care. Came to the USA and paid cash for care, and is still working off the debt (~12 yrs later), but will NOT even think about returning to CDN.
Actually, life is not as funny as it seems, but crying is a lesser option. It is better exercise for your body to laugh. And it helps clear your perspective ! (done plenty of crying YEARS ago)
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the adult child who is the (primary) caregiver and who makes their best effort to do the right thing over the long haul is often the one most in disfavor with the parent being cared for (and sometimes with other family members too).
My sis's insist that I care for MOM too!, but... she put a 'contract' on my life when she thought I had dinked with her source of funds, she also had a legal 'dis-inheritance' written up. So I quickly moved 2000 miles away (3 weeks before first child was born). I still prefer to keep a healthy 'separation' from her. (I'm not totally dense, just close)
Last edited by StealthRabbit; 03-10-2010 at 04:56 PM..
Location: Monterey Bay, California -- watching the sea lions, whales and otters! :D
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Those were great! Actually, it reminds me of the "Irish Wake" we had for a friend of ours in Boulder, Colorado, in around 1982. He was suddenly killed when a car ran a stoplight and he was on his motorcycle going down a hilly street. Next day a friend of his comes by and tells me he's in the funeral parlor – I didn't believe it at first – but sure enough, there he was in that casket! His friend kept saying, "I bet Joe's last words were: 'Oh S**t!'"
So……being Irish and his friends being Irish and we being young….well, we had the next best thing we could legally have to an Irish wake. Joe was buried, but his spirit sure wasn't. We rented out a bar down on Pearl Street, and it was all set up with beers, and drinks, and an on-going video slide show of Joe: Joe camping, Joe on his motorcycle, Joe on the toilet – oh, we had Joe in all sorts of positions! And there had to be the Irish fiddler! Lots of good laughing, good food, and good drink! Yep, I think Joe would've been pretty tickled by it all!
I think some good laughter and fun is almost mandatory at a funeral! I hope people have a good time at mine. I know I've certainly had my ups and downs, but I'd like to see people having some good times when I go!
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Well, the best laid plans......
OMG, it sounds like a movie! You have got to write this stuff down, do a screen play, something. I mean, these are great stories! 
