U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Old 04-21-2007, 11:15 AM
257 posts, read 995,793 times
Reputation: 156


I have a question about something..........I have been thinking of either taking a transfer and relocating to another state or quitting my job and relocating. Reason being, my job wants to take my pay away when I transfer!!! But, not the reason for writing this.

Having a job when I transfer is security, I can always find a different one when I get there........Can get a house or aprt easier. Keep health insurance!!! Only thing is the pay cut, and the pressure to move when THEY want me to!

Not having a job offers u the time u need, and u can pay for Cobra until it runs out and u have to go to lots of interviews again. Might have to pay in advance for an apartment. No biggie!

Tell me something...........Why am I afraid, or insecure about doing this in another state! But, when I think about moving back home, I am not frightened at all about it?

Now, I can tell you my family back there is not going to support me, I am an old lady......lol. So, why is it I feel like I can quit my job and move 2000 miles away........with no problem back home, and I can't do it moving to another state of my choice.

Like I said I know my family is not going to take me in no matter what? Mainly because this has been proven already so......What is up with that? You think it is some sense of security within the state, and the city I was from?

And how do u justify that in your mind?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

Old 04-21-2007, 11:21 AM
Location: Debary, Florida
2,267 posts, read 2,531,536 times
Reputation: 685
I can't say for you but for me it would be fear of the unknown.
I moved to Florida from Texas, I really didn't have a choice in the matter but I did have a friend here who I worked for, the first 3 years here. In the end I love where I live, I loved the new start.

Some people are very used to moving, I am not. It was a HUGE upheavel to me but I am glad I did it in the end.

It sounds like you might have some of the same feelings I do. Maybe you can stay with the company your currently working for and also scope out jobs before you move. So much of it can be done over the internet and phone calls.

Good luck with the move.

Where are you now and where are you wanting to move?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 04-21-2007, 11:39 AM
257 posts, read 995,793 times
Reputation: 156
Hi, thank your for the message! I probably didn't make myself clear, I have problems with that.........LOL

I don't understand why I feel safe quitting my job and moving back to my home city, and state and feel uneasy about doing the same in a city of my choice! Esp when I know I have done it before and been successful, and I have just as much at stake as if I moved home! Can't figure that one out!

Is it fear of the unknown? I don't think so because I have moved many times! And it isn't because I will get the support of my family at home either, so if I fail at home they will not be there either.

Strange phenomenon ha?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 04-21-2007, 11:55 AM
Location: Journey's End
10,189 posts, read 24,912,931 times
Reputation: 3840
I can't provide the answer, but an answer is fear of the unknown, and that fear and other fears seem to be magnified as people get older. Judging from my own adventures, and the ease with which I embarked on them (until most recently) I'd say what you are feeling is not unusual, and totally understandable.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 04-21-2007, 12:15 PM
257 posts, read 995,793 times
Reputation: 156
I don't know I have moved alot in my life, and always thought of it as an adventure..........But, I am getting older and maybe more fearful! I am maybe feeling that returning to my roots will make me more comfortable in my latter years ha? And the strange thing is, it isn't about the family so much as the familiarity of what I feel I have been missing all these years....!!!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 04-23-2007, 03:59 PM
450 posts, read 1,839,099 times
Reputation: 303
Wink You are possibly regressing to memories of childhood security? And getting older!

The fact that you are getting older is probably making you a bit less adventurous. It creeps up on us. Also, although you feel sure your family would not help you, it could be that subconsciously you do feel some sort of safety net there. Finally, I know that when I go back to my childhood haunts I sometimes feel warm fuzzies--even though alot has changed--because I have childhood memories of being raised and protected there. It makes you feel closer to Mommy and Daddy and those early memories sort of bubble up again. It is hard knowing what our little baby, childhood and even teenaged minds might have fixated on as a source of comfort and security. But the overall physcial environment is no doubt a factor. I can still go out to the fairgrounds in the county I was born in and climb a certain hill that is studded with big pine trees and think of my Dad carrying me on his shoulders a long time ago. That makes me feel really secure. But that was over 50 years ago! And there are still some buildings in my home town that bring back old memories. Sooo--It is partly a fear of the unknown as you get older and less adventurous--but also something to do with an old and tattered blanket of memories you carry from your childhood. Anyways, that is my opinion. And, no, I would never move back to my home town. But I do like to visit.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 04-24-2007, 12:09 PM
Location: Monterey Bay, California -- watching the sea lions, whales and otters! :D
1,918 posts, read 6,241,648 times
Reputation: 2646
Kurt: And, no, I would never move back to my home town. But I do like to visit.
I'd have to agree with kurt. It sounds like finding that comfortable security blanket of memories may be moving you toward your old home town and state. I'd say to look at both the pros and cons of moving there -- make a list.

Is your home town really going to provide friends, activities, the weather you may like, cost of living, family support and things along those lines? Or have most of your good friends moved away from there, or if they stayed, have they built up a whole new network of friends and lifestyle, and would you be welcomed back with open arms?

If your family and friends were not supportive in the way you may imagine them to be, would you be just as happy in this place, as if it were a new place? That might be the key to looking at it. If you had never lived there before, is this a place you would choose now? If so why, if not why?

When I think of returning to my hometown, I realize that many people have changed back there, many have moved away, those who stayed are still the same, and I'm not, and I've grown accustomed to nicer weather and a different lifestyle. Think about those pros and cons and see which list is longer.

Good luck!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 05-07-2007, 01:21 AM
Location: Debary, Florida
2,267 posts, read 2,531,536 times
Reputation: 685
When I moved to Florida, I had only vacationed here...I arrived in town the night of September 10, 2001. I woke up in a hotel, turned on the TV to keep my daughter occupied while I made a couple phone calls...only to see the World Trade Centers being taken down by terrorist flying planes into them...I was a wreck, completely insecure and I just wanted to retreat to my comfort zone, where I would feel safe...back home in Texas.

Thankfully I didn't go back home.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.

Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top