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Old 02-07-2014, 06:42 AM
 
Location: Verde Valley AZ
8,618 posts, read 9,687,274 times
Reputation: 10970

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Quote:
Originally Posted by jean_ji View Post
It's our 39th anniversary Saturday. DH has traveled more for his career each year, even now he's gone three to four days a week. I cried like a baby the first time he was gone for a week, early in our marriage. Then I grew up and appreciated the space and independence. I have the advantage of a partner to share things with and also knowing how it is to depend on myself. If anything breaks or goes wrong it has always been when he's away so I know from experience I can handle things on my own.

I would choose to live near relatives and friends too, if I were by myself. After being away from our families for 30 years for our careers, we've chosen to be near family again here and we're loving it.
My ex and I were together 15 years. Of those years I spent nearly half alone because of his job. He was gone six or seven months every year so I had to be independent and make all the decisions. Luckily for me I had been single for nine years before I married him so was already pretty independent. Even bought a house one year but needed a Power of Attorney for some of it. The worst part of it was, twice a year, I had to do a 180 from sharing everything to doing it all myself and it was sometimes hard to do because he would feel I wasn't including him.
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Old 02-07-2014, 09:09 AM
 
Location: Henderson, NV
1,091 posts, read 1,217,511 times
Reputation: 1765
Couples good:

There is always someone to talk to and laugh with
You have a companion when you travel
You share the housework
You have someone with you for dinner
You have someone to hold at night

Couples bad:

Sometimes they nag or really really grate on your nerves
They might want the Grand Canyon instead of Disney
You might have someone to clean up after
They might not like your cooking
They might snore

Singles good:

You get the remote
You pick the vacation
Your house is always as clean as you want it
You always eat your favorite food
Nobody steals the covers

Singles bad:

Movies are best when shared
You don't have someone to enjoy your trip with
You do dishes, mow the lawn, fix the car, make the bed, laundry, toilets.......etc.
Cooking for one is just not as good......and......have you ever eaten alone in a restaurant?
Nobody sharing your bed

I've had both, and actually think life is best when shared with someone you love.
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Old 02-07-2014, 09:33 AM
 
18,852 posts, read 31,727,414 times
Reputation: 26118
From the perspective of one who works with the oldest old, the ones who have a significant other seem to be happier and healthier than those who are alone.

Now, the ones who are alone, but close to their children are also very well.

The oldest old, who are alone, seem very depressed, and ready to die.
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Old 02-07-2014, 04:13 PM
 
Location: Waterville
332 posts, read 428,327 times
Reputation: 775
Quote:
Originally Posted by jasper12 View Post
From the perspective of one who works with the oldest old, the ones who have a significant other seem to be happier and healthier than those who are alone.

Now, the ones who are alone, but close to their children are also very well.

The oldest old, who are alone, seem very depressed, and ready to die.
Aw jeez, did you have to say this out loud?
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Old 02-07-2014, 05:54 PM
 
Location: Columbia SC
8,980 posts, read 7,749,631 times
Reputation: 12182
Quote:
Originally Posted by jasper12 View Post
From the perspective of one who works with the oldest old, the ones who have a significant other seem to be happier and healthier than those who are alone.

Now, the ones who are alone, but close to their children are also very well.

The oldest old, who are alone, seem very depressed, and ready to die.
Might be overly simple and there are variations, but basically you hit the nail on the head.
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Old 02-08-2014, 03:24 PM
 
Location: Columbia SC
8,980 posts, read 7,749,631 times
Reputation: 12182
Happiness, loneliness aside, many of life's decisions need to involve others like children and/or spouses. This is especially true of economic decisions, plans, survivor benefits, inheritances, etc.

When one is alone (different then lonely), one needs to only make decisions/support/care for themselves, the decisions might well be different on many levels.

Examples:

1) With just ones self to be concerned with, something like a Reverse Mortgage could work.
2) With just ones self to be concerned with, something like suicide might be a valid alternative versus dragging a low quality of life on and on.

Bottom line, decisions can be quite different.
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Old 02-08-2014, 11:10 PM
 
10,817 posts, read 8,067,156 times
Reputation: 17029
Quote:
Originally Posted by jasper12 View Post
From the perspective of one who works with the oldest old, the ones who have a significant other seem to be happier and healthier than those who are alone.

Now, the ones who are alone, but close to their children are also very well.

The oldest old, who are alone, seem very depressed, and ready to die.
Quote:
Originally Posted by foglover View Post
Aw jeez, did you have to say this out loud?
Ouch.
There's an abundance of evidence, in this very forum, to suggest that "close to their children" is not the norm.
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Old 02-09-2014, 01:37 AM
 
Location: Florida
19,815 posts, read 19,910,927 times
Reputation: 23221
Quote:
Originally Posted by biscuitmom View Post
Ouch.
There's an abundance of evidence, in this very forum, to suggest that is not the norm.
Or perhaps that '"close to their children" don't spend much of their time on internet forums?
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Old 02-09-2014, 01:47 AM
 
13,320 posts, read 25,569,771 times
Reputation: 20505
The best thing about life planning when single is no one cares what you decide.
It's also the worst thing.
C'est la vie.
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