U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 05-23-2012, 06:19 AM
 
4,356 posts, read 6,078,501 times
Reputation: 10489

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dingler View Post

When I reach 55, I hope to retire to one of those 55 plus communities on a Golf Course. I dream that in a town like this people are friendly to their neighbors and much more relaxed. I would guess because they are no longer working full time they would be more open to making new friends, or at least being friendly.

Are 55+ communities actually more friendly as a rule, or is a friendly neighborhood just a dream?
I live in one and yes they're friendlier but you have to join things. I prefer my own company, writing, gardening, walking, as opposed to playing cards or quilting so I don't meet many new neighbors but those I do come across are very pleasant. One thing about 55 plus 'hoods is that the 55 part is a misnomer. They're more apt to be 75 plus.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 05-23-2012, 07:34 AM
 
Location: CHicago, United States
6,936 posts, read 7,277,904 times
Reputation: 3491
Quote:
Originally Posted by normie View Post
And as long as I'm trying on a new identity, I think I'm going to revel in my crotchitiness. Ohhhh it feels good!

Wanna hear the crotchity truth? Grandma is sick and tired of spending Christmas with the family. It was fun at first, but now Grandma wants to go home and spend some time with adults.

Oh, how I long for adult conversation. For jokes that are a little more sophisticated than fart jokes. To talk with people who have actually been to an opera, or who know that travelling to Italy is about enjoying a new culture (not about finding a McDonald's).

Take me home, so I can hear opinions from people who have actually done things (instead of opinionated guesses from people who "know it all" even though they have not done much of anything yet).

Grandma is bo-o-o-red with hip hop and the Wii. Grandma is fed up with bickering. Grandma has heard enough "gimmee this, gimmee that" and "Grandma buy me a cookie, buy me a prom dress, buy us all tickets to the movies" to last her quite a while.

Oh, it felt good to say those things. I think I'm going to like being crotchety.
I suspect your family is just as pleased as you are .... that you're not spending more time with them. Oops!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-23-2012, 12:26 PM
 
28,303 posts, read 40,003,897 times
Reputation: 36825
Quote:
Originally Posted by staywarm2 View Post
We don't live in a 55+ but had an experience in FL when we lived in a mixed ages area. My DH's parents came to visit us in our townhouse. DH's mom was very hard of hearing and refused to buy a hearing aid.

DH & I both worked but when I came home at lunchtime one day to see how they were doing, I could hear the ballgame on the TV all the way out in the street. The front door was open and they were at the back of the house watching TV. It was so loud I could hardly go inside. THAT could happen in a 55+ if one has hard of hearing neighbors. So don't necessarily count on peace and quiet!
If I lived next door I'd have a little fun. When the TV is blasting and they're in the back yard I'd go in and change the channel then turn the TV down.

A little head messin' goes a long way.

BTW: Nice retrieval from the tar pit. A 4 1/2 year old thread brought back to life.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-26-2012, 02:14 PM
 
Location: Sarasota FL
6,861 posts, read 9,332,740 times
Reputation: 6573
I don't know about 'friendly' but I've visited many of the 55+ communities in my area looking to move and the first thing I notice about all of them is 'quiet'. No screaming, whinning kids, no basket ball bouncing or hoops or soccer balls being kicked, no unmuffled Harleys, no barking yard dogs, no boom box cars, no garage bands, no chain saws buzzing, no boats on the trailers engines running [you know, the boats that see water only 3 days a year]
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-26-2012, 04:48 PM
 
Location: Lexington, SC
4,281 posts, read 10,767,882 times
Reputation: 3717
Quote:
Originally Posted by d4g4m View Post
I don't know about 'friendly' but I've visited many of the 55+ communities in my area looking to move and the first thing I notice about all of them is 'quiet'. No screaming, whinning kids, no basket ball bouncing or hoops or soccer balls being kicked, no unmuffled Harleys, no barking yard dogs, no boom box cars, no garage bands, no chain saws buzzing, no boats on the trailers engines running [you know, the boats that see water only 3 days a year]

Interesting observation and one I agree with. They are quiter.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-26-2012, 09:43 PM
 
Location: Dover, DE
1,803 posts, read 3,845,592 times
Reputation: 2499
I always read, with interest, all the posts about 55+ communities. I really wonder whether some of the people commenting have ever even been in one! I really have to laugh at the vision of a bunch of old geezers just sitting in their rocking chairs waiting to die. Or a bunch of crochety old people who only sit around discussing politics and "demonizing" Democrats. I live in a Del Webb community just outside Charlotte, NC and both these ideas are so far from the actual experience that it is laughable, at least at this location. Now I'm not saying that there aren't some people here who resemble that, but I think you will find that any community will have types of people who don't fit in, so to say.

I will turn 60 in July and have been living here since 2008. It took us a long time to sell our home in PA, so my DH didn't move down until July of last year, and even still he goes back up to PA for 2 weeks a month for his job. There are a lot of us "60ish" people here, and age doesn't really seem to make a difference as to whom one associates with, or is even friends with. My 2 closest friends are 61 and 83. Once a month all the women on our street get together and go out for lunch to various restaurants in the area, and we have a great time. Our "neighborhood" just had a party last Sunday in the open area on our street and it was a lot of fun. And as far as activities, there is so much going on all the time that if someone wanted to, they could fill up every hour of their day with something different. Way too many things to even try and list here....many, many clubs, lots of different sports, many different volunteer groups, etc. etc. And we even have BOTH a Republican AND Democrat club, both very active. And truthfully, except for one neighbor who shares my views, I don't think I have ever even had a political discussion with anyone the entire time I have been here. I did work for awhile, but now am unemployed, and I guess that's the low part of my life. Unemployment is bad here and being my age, I can't seem to get hired.....but that is something that is the same everywhere and most of the people in this community don't have to worry about that anymore.

The area that we moved from in PA was a nice neighborhood, but everyone had their jobs and the rest of the time was filled with family, as it should be. But no one ever really socialized much. Around here everybody waves at everyone, talks to everybody, and tries to include everyone. We all watch out for one another and are there when needed. All my neighbors know that if they need ANYthing at all, all they have to do is call. My hubby helps do things for the widows around here....although some of the ladies who live here could probably "out-do" a lot of the guys! There are a few gals who took up woodworking because of the club and beautiful workshop here!

Are people friendlier here? Absolutely, in my experience. Not because other places aren't friendly, but just because of the lifestyle. Most everybody here has come from somewhere else, so we are all in the same boat. Some have family in the area, some - including us - do not. We just needed a change and were not going to move to NY where our daughter is, knowing full well that she will probably be moving from the area in the next couple of years. I was tired of snow and hubby was tired of spending hours mowing our 1.5 acres of lawn twice a week. Down here I have no qualms at all about, if I see something someone has done in their yards that I like, stopping my golf cart and walking up to their door and asking them about it! Would I do that somewhere else?....Probably not.

Do we like or hate the rules? For the most part the rules are the reason we chose here. Property values stay up, and we don't have to deal with the same issues that have been mentioned in other posts. Why do kids NOT understand that a bouncing basketball or loud music will just reverberate through a closed house???? At our old house we had barking dogs, loud motorbikes and extremely obnoxious bratty kids......why on earth would we want to live out our retirement dealing with that? Can the rules be annoying........yes, sometimes. I can find it annoying to submit forms for review to do anything EXTRA outside the house. I emphasize the word EXTRA because there are things that you don't have to submit. I can pretty much plant whatever I want in my EXISTING beds, as long as it is not on the prohibited list (invasive plants and plants/trees that can make a mess or cause problems). I can hang decorations on my outside walls, put up hanging planters/birdfeeders/birdhouses without "permission". I can do a lot of things, as long as it doesn't detract from the overall feel. I really don't find the rules restrictive much at all.

I know this is long, but I wanted to make sure people understood that not all 55+ communities are the same. Are people friendly? Take for example this story.....in 2010 I was going to be down here by myself over Thanksgiving. I had formed a casual friendship with a gal and she asked me what I was going to do. When I told her "probably just be by myself", she immediately said.....absolutely not! You are coming here and be with our family. I was blown away as this is just something that wouldn't happen in my old neighborhood. And before you say something about "southern hospitality", these people were from Minnesota. Tomorrow I am invited for a cookout next door because my husband is on his 2 weeks in PA, and this is not the first time I have been invited to other places because I have been by myself. It is just something that people do here.

So before anyone forms an opinion about where they want to retire, make sure to check out ALL of the options. Oh and BTW, we are a community of BOTH single family homes and multi-family units called Villas. There are also Carriage Homes, which are kind of like condos....so we have something for everyone!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-30-2012, 02:09 PM
 
Location: Southern California
11 posts, read 85,388 times
Reputation: 33
rothbear, I'm delurking to tell you that your post is awesome! Very, very informative and helpful.

Quote:
...in 2010 I was going to be down here by myself over Thanksgiving. I had formed a casual friendship with a gal and she asked me what I was going to do. When I told her "probably just be by myself", she immediately said.....absolutely not! You are coming here and be with our family. I was blown away as this is just something that wouldn't happen in my old neighborhood.
Any place I've lived my entire life, there have always been people who were desperate for more dinner guests at Thanksgiving. I figured it was because they didn't want a 20-pound bird to go to waste and really didn't want to be eating "Turkey Surprise" the following Easter.

Not saying that's why your friend invited you (it's obvious she really wanted you to attend). Your story just reminded me of having to fend off Turkey-Day invitations all over the place every year. I wanted the long weekend off work to get stuff done around the house (or read or knit)!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-30-2012, 05:10 PM
 
7,105 posts, read 7,025,823 times
Reputation: 5922
Default Thanksgiving Invite

Quote:
Originally Posted by rothbear View Post
I know this is long, but I wanted to make sure people understood that not all 55+ communities are the same. Are people friendly? Take for example this story.....in 2010 I was going to be down here by myself over Thanksgiving. I had formed a casual friendship with a gal and she asked me what I was going to do. When I told her "probably just be by myself", she immediately said.....absolutely not! You are coming here and be with our family. I was blown away as this is just something that wouldn't happen in my old neighborhood. And before you say something about "southern hospitality", these people were from Minnesota. Tomorrow I am invited for a cookout next door because my husband is on his 2 weeks in PA, and this is not the first time I have been invited to other places because I have been by myself. It is just something that people do here."
That Thanksgiving invitation was very nice. Who wants to be alone on a holiday...
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-30-2012, 06:06 PM
Status: "Support the Mining Law of 1872" (set 27 days ago)
 
Location: Cody, WY
9,606 posts, read 10,977,064 times
Reputation: 19303
Quote:
Originally Posted by staywarm2 View Post
That Thanksgiving invitation was very nice. Who wants to be alone on a holiday...
I'ds rather be alone than with strangers or casual acquaintances on Thanksgiving and Christmas. These are days for families. If I'm the only family that's fine.

However, all dogs, cats, etc. are welcome to join and be part of my family.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-30-2012, 10:25 PM
 
Location: Dover, DE
1,803 posts, read 3,845,592 times
Reputation: 2499
Quote:
Originally Posted by Happy in Wyoming View Post
I'ds rather be alone than with strangers or casual acquaintances on Thanksgiving and Christmas. These are days for families. If I'm the only family that's fine.

However, all dogs, cats, etc. are welcome to join and be part of my family.
My point being that, yes holidays are for families, but due to everybody's work schedules and lack of enough vacation time, I was unable to go back to PA and DH and daughter were unable to come down here. I was prepared, although not happy, to be alone and cook myself chicken or something, but a friend thought that I shouldn't be alone and sad on a holiday and was willing to open her home to me. I wasn't forced to go, but at least I had an option to share with others rather than be by myself. I appreciated that and it is something that wouldn't have happened in my old neighborhood. They would have felt sorry for me, but no one would have extended that hand of friendship. Everyone should have a choice.

And I should mention that I made a Pineapple Casserole that everybody kind of looked strangely at, but in the end they gobbled up the entire thing and asked for the recipe!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top