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Old 11-07-2009, 08:22 AM
 
Location: SW MO
23,605 posts, read 31,497,588 times
Reputation: 29076

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A retiree's tale.

A TRIP TO COSTCO

Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow
for my loyal pet, Biscuit, the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line
when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog..

What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired and have
little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was
starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't,
because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50
pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out
of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that
it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply
eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally
complete so it works well and I was going to try it again..... (I have to
mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with
my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because
the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff
the butt of an Irish Setter and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was
laughing so hard.


Costco won't let me shop there anymore.

Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the
world to think of crazy things to say.
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Old 11-07-2009, 06:17 PM
 
Location: Lakewood OH
21,697 posts, read 23,676,966 times
Reputation: 35449
Quote:
Originally Posted by Curmudgeon View Post
A retiree's tale.

A TRIP TO COSTCO

Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow
for my loyal pet, Biscuit, the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line
when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog..

What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired and have
little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was
starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't,
because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50
pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out
of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that
it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply
eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally
complete so it works well and I was going to try it again..... (I have to
mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with
my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because
the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff
the butt of an Irish Setter and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was
laughing so hard.


Costco won't let me shop there anymore.

Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the
world to think of crazy things to say.
Oh my gosh! I had major monitor spew I laughed so hard at this. Please may I send this to my retired sister? She would love it!
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Old 11-07-2009, 06:24 PM
 
Location: Sierra Vista, AZ
16,133 posts, read 20,831,348 times
Reputation: 8293
Quote:
Originally Posted by Boompa View Post
Today I plan to go to the Gym and take a nap. It'll probably be a hassle going on the Fort today.
Lucked out, no anal probe to get on the base. I also drove over to Bisbee for a Chicago style Hot Dog and a Root Beer. Big day out for the wife
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Old 11-07-2009, 06:42 PM
 
Location: Oregon Coast
1,848 posts, read 6,250,478 times
Reputation: 1383
I went out and bought a sandwich or half of one at Subway. I did some dusting in my house. I did a very few other household chores. Then it was time to sit down and get online.
Next it'll be time to make dinner. That's it for today until it's time to read myself to sleep.
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Old 11-07-2009, 07:08 PM
 
Location: Sacramento
13,784 posts, read 23,815,442 times
Reputation: 6195
Gee Curmudgeon, you know that out here in CA we'd have the state legislature get together and pass laws to prohibit that behavior...

But, you knew that.
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Old 11-07-2009, 09:51 PM
 
Location: So. of Rosarito, Baja, Mexico
6,654 posts, read 18,687,709 times
Reputation: 6106
Love this thread.

Did Nothing today...resting after working real hard last Sun/Mon/Tues.

Pulled the motor on my Turbo charged VW bug (VW mechanic of 28 yrs).

Had to remove the flywheel...replace a oil seal...install New clutch...clean/paint engine...change oil/filter...re-install engine.

Normally I would have done the entire job in 3 hrs instead of the 3 days it took me this time.

Suppose I can be forgiven since I'm only 78 yrs young.

Steve
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Old 11-08-2009, 11:11 AM
 
12,709 posts, read 14,089,349 times
Reputation: 34839
Got up late (no gym today), threw out a couple of weeks accumulation of newspapers, and then went out to a favorite spot overlooking the sea for lunch.
Attached Thumbnails
Retired what I did today-seacliffalgarve.gif  
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Old 11-08-2009, 11:36 AM
 
2,024 posts, read 2,988,378 times
Reputation: 1813
Nearly finished our packing for a trip we're leaving on Wednesday. Some housework.

Listened to hub moan some more about the cost of putting new windows in our house which we signed the contract for a couple of days ago.

Booked a hotel in Arlington, Va for our visit to some of the Smithsonian museums in January. Booked a really cool bed and breakfast in Gettysburg for two days after DC. (side trips while in Michigan for xmas).

Currently drinking a beer and browsing my forums. (well, it IS 6.30 pm here).
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Old 11-09-2009, 07:52 AM
 
Location: Tennessee
34,693 posts, read 33,704,884 times
Reputation: 51924
Yesterday (it's too early yet, today) I got up early and was out of the home by 7:30A and drove to a dam and its park that's technically in my town, at least on one side of the water, that I have never been to. My intent was to take photos of what remained of the fall foliage but it was too sunny for me so I took some pics of the moon which I could see plainly, in the sky, at 11:00A. At night, I called a friend in another state, played 2 games of Bejeweled Twist, downloaded my photos, manipulated them, and finished a book I thought was tough sledding but had to read for my book group.

I also worked tirelessly on contemplating housework. I suppose, I will contemplate it some more, today. Contemplating housework...the heinous job that consumes your time, usurps your thoughts and the job that no retiree will dare speak about. It's like a Honey-Do list but more insidious.
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Old 11-09-2009, 08:01 AM
 
2,024 posts, read 2,988,378 times
Reputation: 1813
Aside from parking my butt in front of this computer as usual, I made a big pot of soup so I could use up all our veggies before we leave Weds. Hub is patching a hole in the garage roof.

Have CNN International, Skynews or BBC on in the background.

Aye, and some housework. Hate coming home to a dirty house after a trip.
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