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Old 11-06-2009, 05:48 PM
 
Location: Coastal Georgia
37,112 posts, read 45,631,484 times
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Am I being too sensitive, or is this the way it always goes? One son is in Afghanistan, so he's excused. One son is in North Carolina, so he's reluctantly excused. One is 3 hours away and is not excused. One is local and I don't know his plans yet.
Am I being unrealistic to expect all my chicks to want to gather for holidays, or is this just to be expected? Most of my friend's children seem to get together for the holidays, so I don't get it. I should add that there are not rifts or reasons that I know of that they would be avoiding us. We're really nice, have lots of friends our age and are not weird old people.
I fear I may spend Thanksgiving sobbing into my Stove Top for two.
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Old 11-06-2009, 06:25 PM
 
Location: Raleigh, NC
149 posts, read 488,983 times
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Let it slip that you have an appointment in early December with a lawyer to update your wills.
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Old 11-06-2009, 07:29 PM
 
257 posts, read 926,411 times
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I had to tell my daughter one day that I had friends who really liked me (cuz she obviously does not!)

just go with it.............I've been that way for years PLUS i am single now. So, it's "stove top for one!" ------------NOT!@!!! I love to cook!
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Old 11-06-2009, 07:48 PM
 
48,516 posts, read 83,932,349 times
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With us its a tradition of taking turns to host both thanksgiving and christmas dinner.Only those far away don't come but they always call.Some how days seem to have no sense of family really.I would just take it they have loss the real meanig of both holidays.
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Old 11-06-2009, 07:52 PM
 
Location: Right where I want to be.
4,507 posts, read 8,027,101 times
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How often do you visit any of them for holidays?

Whatever happens, please don't make stove-top for Thanksgiving. Make the real meal even if it is just you two. Be thankful enough to make real stuffing, you'll feel better and enjoy the leftovers much more.
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Old 11-06-2009, 07:52 PM
 
6,039 posts, read 9,458,638 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gentlearts View Post
Am I being too sensitive, or is this the way it always goes? One son is in Afghanistan, so he's excused. One son is in North Carolina, so he's reluctantly excused. One is 3 hours away and is not excused. One is local and I don't know his plans yet.
Am I being unrealistic to expect all my chicks to want to gather for holidays, or is this just to be expected? Most of my friend's children seem to get together for the holidays, so I don't get it. I should add that there are not rifts or reasons that I know of that they would be avoiding us. We're really nice, have lots of friends our age and are not weird old people.
I fear I may spend Thanksgiving sobbing into my Stove Top for two.
My fiance is career military, and currently deployed overseas. My son lives 2000 miles away from me. My daughter lives 8000 miles away from me. You at least have one other person with you. If your kids don't want to come visit, then take both of yourselves out on a nice little weekender for two and have fun.

Me...well, I'll be alone, wishing that I had my man with me to celebrate, as will so many other military spouses and significant others. So count your blessings, stop feeling sorry for yourself, and go have fun!
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Old 11-06-2009, 07:55 PM
JS1
 
1,898 posts, read 6,125,813 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gentlearts View Post
Am I being too sensitive, or is this the way it always goes? One son is in Afghanistan, so he's excused. One son is in North Carolina, so he's reluctantly excused. One is 3 hours away and is not excused. One is local and I don't know his plans yet.
Am I being unrealistic to expect all my chicks to want to gather for holidays, or is this just to be expected? Most of my friend's children seem to get together for the holidays, so I don't get it. I should add that there are not rifts or reasons that I know of that they would be avoiding us. We're really nice, have lots of friends our age and are not weird old people.
I fear I may spend Thanksgiving sobbing into my Stove Top for two.
Did you invite them to visit you for Thanksgiving?
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Old 11-06-2009, 08:11 PM
 
1,492 posts, read 6,959,048 times
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Your post made me think of my mother who passed away a year ago. She often told me of how she was not ever visited and spent holidays alone. When it came time for Hospice, she was almost forced into a nursing home. After returning from over seas, I moved out west....but moved within a week to the east coast so Mom wouldn't have to go into a nursing home.
1 sister 7 miles away, 1 sister 12 miles away (single again, no kids at home, and a nurse), 1 sister 45 minutes away, and 1 sister 8 hours away.

None of my sisters had any children at home. When I showed up with my three minor children, Mother cried.....she said of all her children, I was the one.

I had sent money on the 1st of the month to her for years. I paid for her home renovations and anything she needed. I always called at least EVERY Sunday. I flew in each and every time she went into the hospital and stayed until she was released (flights/rentalcar/hotel to wash up)....

I remained by her side until she took her last breath.

Don't understand it myself. But as far as the holidays, I don't know why children don't go home.

This past year I have had 2 to leave for the military and the holidays are approaching. I guess it's my turn to have children not come home for the holidays.
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Old 11-06-2009, 08:37 PM
 
Location: Texas
15,891 posts, read 15,297,639 times
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Has Thanksgiving been a big holiday for your family in the past? I ask this because it was never a big deal for my family. Christmas was the big one for us. There were many times that I didn't go home for Thanksgiving because Friday was a work day for Uncle Sam and we took turns taking it off at work.

I never missed Christmas, though. It would have broken my parents' hearts if my sister and I had not come for Christmas. Actually, it would have broken mine, too.

So, what I'm wondering is if your kids are missing Thanksgiving but plan to be with y'all at Christmas.
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Old 11-06-2009, 08:38 PM
 
Location: SoCal desert
8,093 posts, read 13,232,688 times
Reputation: 14870
If your children can't make it home for whatever reason and IF you can afford to set an extra place at the table -

Adopt a single service military member: Many can't afford to go home for the holidays or they have duty. Call the nearest military base and ask if they have a program.

-or-

Call a place of worship and ask the pastor/father/rabbi if they know of anyone who is alone on the holiday!
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