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Old 03-18-2011, 06:53 PM
 
Location: Los Angeles area
14,018 posts, read 17,740,386 times
Reputation: 32304

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Quote:
Originally Posted by PDD View Post
Here it is.
A son is a son till he takes a wife, a daughter is a daughter for the rest of her life.
I think there's a lot to that line - a lot of truth even if it doesn't apply to every individual. I can see the gender differences played out in this fascinating thread.
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Old 03-19-2011, 07:27 PM
 
Location: Deep In The Heart of Texas
1,608 posts, read 1,271,674 times
Reputation: 3026
My children didn't keep in touch with me even before I retired!
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Old 03-19-2011, 09:05 PM
 
48,516 posts, read 83,955,483 times
Reputation: 18050
Quote:
Originally Posted by PDD View Post
Here it is.
A son is a son till he takes a wife, a daughter is a daughter for the rest of her life.
I agree there is alot of truth to a point . His and her first obligation is to their family. Absence also has a effect even on marriages as we often see.Anyone rememeber Jody from military days;frequently out of site ;out of mind there too.
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Old 03-20-2011, 09:10 AM
 
Location: Striving for Avalon
1,424 posts, read 2,092,614 times
Reputation: 3348
I see this as well in my own family....and we live on top of each other. When my grandparents are up north at their primary home, the farthest child is 45 minute drive or about 20 miles.

Of course, "family dynamics" have led to a wide variance. There's myself (an almost religious devotion to the grandparents for numerous reasons and past history) and then there's my cousins who don't even call to thank when they got their checks for college ($100,000 per grandkid).

At college, I take a small bit of money for their birthday presents. I mean, given what I've received both materially and emotionally, the least I can do is cobble together $25 for a tweed hat or $15 for a wine & chocolate gift set (found on vacation; was grandma's favorite wine). Talking to them and sending gifts puts me at ease emotionally/spiritually in ways that no other people could offer (friends, parents, etc).

If you wish to ignore your relatives, fine. What I have trouble with are those who live 20 minutes away and can't be bothered calling, visiting, or e-mailing more than the absolute minimum dictated by custom.

Of course, it helps that Grandma and Grandad stay relevant and interesting, in their own way. It helps if you do more than watch the Wheel and visit your favorite Early Bird special.
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Old 08-17-2015, 12:27 AM
 
4 posts, read 2,487 times
Reputation: 35
Default Children don't bother

When I was younger I took my kids to see our parents as many times a year as possible. We called moms every week. We wanted them in our lives as well as our kids lives. They were important to us. Now the kids are grown and "too busy " give me a break. If they want you in their lives they will make the time. We call and if lucky, they may call back. But by god if they call and you don't answer, look out . Kids are too much into themselves nowadays. I don't want to hear that there are texts or emails or facebook. That's crap. Many of us are are the bottom of the pile when it comes to feeling a little important in their lives. We come below the friends, friends of friends, the butcher, the baker and the candlestick maker. It doesn't matter what you do, how well you raise them, some kids are self centered and only think of their needs. Parents may not say it but they remember how their kids make them feel.
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Old 08-17-2015, 12:36 AM
 
Location: interior Alaska
4,487 posts, read 3,319,586 times
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Well, there are text, emails and facebook messaging. And skype, and facetime, and... Like it or not, actually talking on the phone is more for emergencies and special occasions among young people today. Complaining they don't spend enough time on the phone is like complaining they don't send paper letters anymore.
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Old 08-17-2015, 12:41 AM
 
Location: california
920 posts, read 649,828 times
Reputation: 1065
Quote:
Originally Posted by wlaker View Post
Two daughters and six grandchildren -- it hurts because we only hear from them if we call them. Prior to retirement we lived close to one daughter and an hour from the other -- babysat most weekends so we felt we had truly bonded with the grandchildren. We moved to FL for the winters a few years ago -- since that time the girls don't call or write. We've even waited 2 weeks for a call -- then we call. We never give them a guilt trip - - remain calm and cheery just wanting to keep in touch. Sold our home this past summer and children got most of the stuff. While growing up they were shown an example of keeping the family close -- both sets of grandparents were visited weekly, and we had them both over for every holiday -- for 30 years. Now it seems those over 55 communities are for people who want to feel their kids could be near, but can't because of the rules -- when actually, they just don't want to be bothered.
I don't understand this.
Why did YOU move AWAY from them if you want to be close to them?
If my parents moved AWAY from me, well...they made THEIR decision right?
A decision I would NEVER make regarding my own son. But such is life I suppose...
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Old 08-17-2015, 04:45 AM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 18,982,141 times
Reputation: 15649
Quote:
Originally Posted by L James View Post
When I was younger I took my kids to see our parents as many times a year as possible. We called moms every week. We wanted them in our lives as well as our kids lives. They were important to us. Now the kids are grown and "too busy " give me a break. If they want you in their lives they will make the time. We call and if lucky, they may call back. But by god if they call and you don't answer, look out . Kids are too much into themselves nowadays. I don't want to hear that there are texts or emails or facebook. That's crap. Many of us are are the bottom of the pile when it comes to feeling a little important in their lives. We come below the friends, friends of friends, the butcher, the baker and the candlestick maker. It doesn't matter what you do, how well you raise them, some kids are self centered and only think of their needs. Parents may not say it but they remember how their kids make them feel.
You got that largely right. This is the "selfie" generation, the ones who have time to put up photos of themselves and their kids on Facebook but somehow don't have time to phone dad or mom or email a photo to their parents. I have some friends who cannot access their grown kids' FB page, by design. As if "letting parents in" somehow compromises their precious lifestyle.
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Old 08-17-2015, 07:10 AM
 
6,321 posts, read 5,058,385 times
Reputation: 12831
Quote:
Originally Posted by newenglandgirl View Post
You got that largely right. This is the "selfie" generation, the ones who have time to put up photos of themselves and their kids on Facebook but somehow don't have time to phone dad or mom or email a photo to their parents. I have some friends who cannot access their grown kids' FB page, by design. As if "letting parents in" somehow compromises their precious lifestyle.
darn kids could set up a separate family only type page to stay in touch.
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Old 08-17-2015, 12:53 PM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 18,982,141 times
Reputation: 15649
Quote:
Originally Posted by Clemencia53 View Post
darn kids could set up a separate family only type page to stay in touch.
yeeaaaaahhhh.....don't hold your breath.
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