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Old 08-17-2015, 01:02 PM
 
Location: NC Piedmont
3,911 posts, read 2,879,340 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Frostnip View Post
Well, there are text, emails and facebook messaging. And skype, and facetime, and... Like it or not, actually talking on the phone is more for emergencies and special occasions among young people today. Complaining they don't spend enough time on the phone is like complaining they don't send paper letters anymore.
Yep; texting is more likely to get a response from my kids, nieces and nephews. If you start participating in that, you will likely get why. It isn't impersonal, or at least it isn't meant to be; that's the way they communicate with their closest friends. if I leave a voice mail, it is less likely to get answered quickly and sometimes never will be. Texts usually get replies within a few minutes even if they are tied up with something that would have prevented them answering a voice call.
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Old 08-17-2015, 01:58 PM
 
718 posts, read 603,734 times
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This is going to sound mean and harsh and I'm sorry ahead of time, also this is not directed at OP or anyone in particular but just a statement of fact. If you were meeting your children and they weren't your children would you WANT to talk to them, or do you just think you/they SHOULD?

Sometimes when things are an obligation that isn't any fun it takes a long time to complete. Try the texting and facebook and see if the response is better. it's true that when people want to do something, they find time/a way.
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Old 08-17-2015, 02:09 PM
 
Location: interior Alaska
4,486 posts, read 3,319,586 times
Reputation: 13790
Quote:
Originally Posted by ReachTheBeach View Post
Yep; texting is more likely to get a response from my kids, nieces and nephews. If you start participating in that, you will likely get why. It isn't impersonal, or at least it isn't meant to be; that's the way they communicate with their closest friends. if I leave a voice mail, it is less likely to get answered quickly and sometimes never will be. Texts usually get replies within a few minutes even if they are tied up with something that would have prevented them answering a voice call.
I was a holdout on texting for a long time, but I've come to like it. You can touch base with people at odd times and more frequently than with phone calls, and it's good across time zones, and you can send pictures of stuff you come across that's funny or beautiful. I think short messages more frequently can be nicer than longer calls less frequently, too. Plus they stay as a record, unlike spoken words, and sometimes it's nice to read back through them. All in all it's just really convenient.
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Old 08-17-2015, 02:28 PM
 
141 posts, read 127,532 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dontblameus View Post
It makes me so mad that the parents of today who are rearing children count their parents (now seniors) of so little value that they can't stop their incredibly busy lives to speak to someone they supposedly love and care for once a week on the phone with the aim of showing their love and support.

I am a senior, incredibly in tune with the computer age, articulate, loving, independent, generous, intelligent and yet still a mother.

Our children and their spouses have experienced generosity from us that we never ever experienced from our parents who were survivors of WW2, we are not rich but we are generous. We like to help our kids.

It is common for the baby boomer generation to give their children tens of thousands to help their children get into the housing market.

Is that generosity reciprocated by loving phone calls and invitations to join in family gatherings? No sir, they just live their lives without a thought about making their parents part of it unless they want a babysitter, or something else that their parents can supply eg if father was an electrician they would get their house rewired free, and when it's finished seldom get in touch the father that gave so much unselfishly. We have selfish, thankless kids. How much they have gone away from the values they were taught by words and deeds by their parents.

In my day as a mark of respect to my mother in law I would phone her every week to ask after her and she was quite cold towards me until I provided a grandchild. She had not invited me to call her by her first name and I called her Mrs .... for years. I was the one who took her to doctor's appointments, who visited her in the nursing home, the one who took her in when she was ill; but would this occur now with a daughter in law if her mother in law treated her like that NO WAY.

We receive little respect from our sons and daughters in law, little love and no matter how we hard we try we can't win their hearts.

So, we live on independently with loving, caring friends around us, and even though we all want close bonds with our children and grandchildren our kids are unwilling to love us enough to include us in their lives. I think it is disgraceful.
Wow this is exactly how my husband and I are treated!!
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Old 08-17-2015, 03:09 PM
 
4,346 posts, read 6,058,509 times
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Texting is the best invention ever! Last week we got a text from our 11 yo grandson holding a 26" fish he caught. He's at an age now where we just bypass our 'busy' son and communicate directly with him and his brother. Texting is their thing and we do it. If they were into paper airplanes or carrier pigeon then we'd do that too. To hold someone, particularly a younger person, to your preferred means of communication will assure that you are shut out of their lives.
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Old 08-17-2015, 03:23 PM
 
Location: ☀️ SWFL ⛱ 🌴
2,435 posts, read 1,669,408 times
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We just dropped our kids/grandkids off at Laguardia after a four day visit. The littlest one didn't want to go home and I didn't want him to either after he crawled up on my lap the first night when no one was around and said "Me loves you, Mamma". That kid is a heartbreaker.

Our son thanked DH for picking them up and driving them around while here and both of us for making it such a nice time. He texted when they were boarding and texted when they landed and said he would text when they get home. He's a thoughtful person.

Our DIL helped our granddaughter send a picture she drew and a picture of herself to Great Mamma, which we saw on her fridge when we visited a few weeks ago. Politeness and thoughtfulness are taught and emulated behaviors.

We don't expect anything in return or payment when we do things or give things. There are no strings attached and our son learned that and I think his children will too from him and our DIL.

This is why we bought a home two miles away from them and will eventually quit snow birding and live there permanently. We like, love and respect them and they feel the same about us. And yes, least you think we live in a world of rainbows and unicorns; all the adults take turns at being PITAs occasionally, we don't hold it against each other or keep score though, that's life.
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Old 08-17-2015, 03:25 PM
 
4,002 posts, read 3,221,666 times
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It seems to me that those who are complaining the loudest about lack of communication with their kids and grandkids are the ones who refuse to communicate the way the kids and grandkids want to. Talking on the phone is okay once in a great while, but lets face it, anything longer than about 30 seconds on the phone gets boring and a waste of time. Texting is great, its there for you when you are able to see it, you can answer when you have time, as was said you can send pictures, which is super great!

You can either get with the current communication modes, which are great fun if you let them be, or you can be grumpy and crabby and make yourself the type person no one wants to communicate with.
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Old 08-17-2015, 04:16 PM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 18,978,143 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by carnivalday View Post
It seems to me that those who are complaining the loudest about lack of communication with their kids and grandkids are the ones who refuse to communicate the way the kids and grandkids want to. Talking on the phone is okay once in a great while, but lets face it, anything longer than about 30 seconds on the phone gets boring and a waste of time. Texting is great, its there for you when you are able to see it, you can answer when you have time, as was said you can send pictures, which is super great!

You can either get with the current communication modes, which are great fun if you let them be, or you can be grumpy and crabby and make yourself the type person no one wants to communicate with.
You make a very good point. However, this texting stuff is bare bones communication in "text speak." There's no human voice(s) involved, which expresses so much more than words, both good and not so good. I suppose it's the "safe" way to interact these days. The social media and lack of writing skills in schools will probably seriously impact the humanities, critical thinking and higher levels of (intelligent) communication. We're halfway there anyway, so make room for the robot culture.
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Old 08-17-2015, 04:23 PM
 
4,002 posts, read 3,221,666 times
Reputation: 13018
Well, its up to you (the generic you) if you want to communicate with your kids/grandkids. Seems to me its either a choice of little to no interaction if you insist on phone calls, or as much interaction as you'd like if you go with the flow of texting and email. The problem is not with the kids/g-kids, its with the parents/g-parents.
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Old 08-17-2015, 04:27 PM
 
Location: ☀️ SWFL ⛱ 🌴
2,435 posts, read 1,669,408 times
Reputation: 8693
Quote:
Originally Posted by newenglandgirl View Post
You make a very good point. However, this texting stuff is bare bones communication in "text speak." There's no human voice(s) involved, which expresses so much more than words, both good and not so good. I suppose it's the "safe" way to interact these days. The social media and lack of writing skills in schools will probably seriously impact the humanities, critical thinking and higher levels of (intelligent) communication. We're halfway there anyway, so make room for the robot culture.
I disagree, texting is a godsend. No more being interrupted at inconvenient times and messages can be sent at anytime to be read whenever. It's communicating without all the niceties, I will agree, but sometimes a quick yes, no, time, place or is needed. I think some people use a phone to hold other people hostage while the niceties are being observed. Give me Skype for that personal touch and texting for the get it done communications.

Robots are tools to be used and of course will be part of culture. One can embrace it or ignore it, we still have free will.
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