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Old 08-19-2015, 08:00 AM
 
3,492 posts, read 4,952,643 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wlaker View Post
They want me to use facebook or send them text messages on my phone. I don't know how to text and would like to hear their voices.

Learn how to text. We taught my parents to do it. I only call every month or two, if I'm busy it might be 3. However, my parents will on average get a few text messages and a picture each week so they know what we are doing. My wife stays in touch with them that way also. Her parents don't use picture and text messaging and get far less communication because they are not using the method of communication that fits our lives.

To be fair, about the only time I'm really "on the phone" is calling a company to get something fixed or in rare instances when my wife and I need to communicate about something more complex and it cannot wait until we are face to face. Then she might call me from work. (Note: I work from home)
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Old 08-19-2015, 08:30 AM
 
Location: NC Piedmont
3,911 posts, read 2,876,213 times
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Times change and we evolve. My grandparents had one telephone each in their houses and there was no answering machine attached. I doubt they used it more than a couple of times most weeks. When we did call, it was generally to coordinate about when we were visiting them or they were visiting us. We didn't pass the phone around to speak to their generation. We started doing that when my generation started reaching adulthood and having kids. My parents would use the phone like a visit and talk to all the kids. They evolved and did it differently than their parents. Now it is our turn...
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Old 08-19-2015, 08:50 AM
 
Location: Coastal Georgia
37,094 posts, read 45,604,555 times
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I think OP is just unrealistic. I treated my parents this way, and my kids treat us this way. In all our cases, we have always had good relationships with each other, but we don't feel the need to check in all the time.
After I left the nest, I hardly ever called my parents, and when I did I had nothing much to say. My kids are hardly in touch with us either...some more than others, but I don't take this personally.
When we get together for visits, we all enjoy catching up and seeing each other. I confess that I lurk on Facebook, to monitor what they are up to. If and when I require an answer to a question, I will text them, and will get an answer pretty quickly. I do not make demands on my adult children. I want them to engage with me because they want to, not because I demand it. It is hard for us parents of grown children to transition from having them be a part of you to their being entirely separate from you.
My advice to OP is to not turn talking to you into a punishment. Meet them half way. Learn to text them. Most of the time, I bet they will answer.
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Old 08-19-2015, 12:03 PM
 
1,560 posts, read 1,548,891 times
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The texting advise someone gave is a very good idea. Anyone under 50 yrs old texts nowadays----and my 40 yr. old sister basically only communicates via text...I'll call and there's no answer---I'll then send a text and get an immediate response.

This thread was a real eye-opener for me---I usually call my 70 yr old parents every Sunday----and now I kind of see why it's so important. I did become a lot more conscientious about how I came across to my parents after I had kids. As they say, parenthood changes everything---until you're a parent you have no idea how much your parents sacrificed for you.

As a guy who didn't get married until his 30's, I lived a pretty care-free lifestyle and called my parents when I felt like it. I'm a LOT more appreciative now that I have small kids. I really respect what they did as parents.....it's the toughest job in the world.
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Old 08-19-2015, 04:16 PM
 
Location: So. of Rosarito, Baja, Mexico
6,652 posts, read 18,670,918 times
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Reading some of these story's reminded me of the last episode of the TV program "JAG".

All of the people on the show were celebrating the upcoming retirement of the Capt.

Many were conversing with each other and the Capt was by himself and looking at the others.

He picked up his Cap (cover), went to the front door, stood there for a min looking back at the people, opened the door and walked out..............nobody noticed he had left.

This is what is happening to a small degree with the seniors like many here including yours truly. We have reached the age where our children have their own family's be it children or maybe Grand Children.....with the latter you know we are way up there in years. NO complaints here by me.

Life is when you are born...do what nature asks of you and then quietly go away when the time comes.
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Old 08-22-2015, 08:46 AM
 
4 posts, read 2,481 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Steve Bagu View Post
Reading some of these story's reminded me of the last episode of the TV program "JAG".

All of the people on the show were celebrating the upcoming retirement of the Capt.

Many were conversing with each other and the Capt was by himself and looking at the others.

He picked up his Cap (cover), went to the front door, stood there for a min looking back at the people, opened the door and walked out..............nobody noticed he had left.

This is what is happening to a small degree with the seniors like many here including yours truly. We have reached the age where our children have their own family's be it children or maybe Grand Children.....with the latter you know we are way up there in years. NO complaints here by me.

Life is when you are born...do what nature asks of you and then quietly go away when the time comes.
JAG is a show and when that hour is over, it's gone. This is real life. Life is what you have every day. AND when you are a mother or even a grandmother, that's what you are until the day you die. You don't walk away.
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Old 08-22-2015, 09:20 PM
 
168 posts, read 129,804 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by flashes1 View Post
I'm writing this from the viewpoint of the OP's kids------and I'm a male.

It's easy to lose touch with parents when they don't live close by. We have less in common---they'll ask me on the phone, "hey, what have you been up to?" I'm not sure how to respond----they live a couple hundred miles away so it's hard to say I've basically been throwing the football with my son since the last time I spoke to them. I just don't have much to say to them.

I have vowed that once I'm retired I will do everything I can to live closer to my kids....even if it's only for a few months a year----my home base will be in Florida, but instead of traveling to Europe on vacation, I'll rent a house/apartment/hotel close to my kids for a couple months a year.

And I won't be shy to invite myself over....not after doing all the stuff I've done for my kids. And if my kids blow me off? Okay---I'll watch my grandkids and have a relationship with them (that'll probably be more fun anyways! ha). I know they'll accept free babysitting----they want to use me? I'll use them for my grandkids.
I am a 63 year old female and you are right on target. My parents moved to Florida when they retired. They enjoyed themselves but were not a part of our lives. They were to busy to make the trip up for holidays and we were to busy with our jobs as well as being financially unable to go down. We called each other regularly. Then when their health became an issue they wanted us to drop everything and come down and take care of.them. My father told my sister that since she did not have children and did not work she could leave her husband and come to Florida to take care of them. There refused to move closer to any of their children. My brother even asked them to move in with his family. The result was in spite of frequent trips to Florida to help them none of us were there when they died. Both times we were frantically trying to get a flight down.

i live near my children. I am the go to chauffeur for my grandchildren. I spend holidays and birthdays with them. ND in the summer i take care of them. My life is full. People tell me my kids are lucky that i am so involved. I say I am the lucky one that they need me. It keeps me young. Especially when i am there when a grandchild wants to share a confidence. I make a di#erence.
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Old 08-23-2015, 08:16 AM
 
4,189 posts, read 4,396,622 times
Reputation: 2228
They are older, have their own lives, just drop them an email, and let it go.
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