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Old 11-17-2009, 08:46 PM
10 posts, read 27,930 times
Reputation: 33


Two daughters and six grandchildren -- it hurts because we only hear from them if we call them. Prior to retirement we lived close to one daughter and an hour from the other -- babysat most weekends so we felt we had truly bonded with the grandchildren. We moved to FL for the winters a few years ago -- since that time the girls don't call or write. We've even waited 2 weeks for a call -- then we call. We never give them a guilt trip - - remain calm and cheery just wanting to keep in touch. Sold our home this past summer and children got most of the stuff. While growing up they were shown an example of keeping the family close -- both sets of grandparents were visited weekly, and we had them both over for every holiday -- for 30 years. Now it seems those over 55 communities are for people who want to feel their kids could be near, but can't because of the rules -- when actually, they just don't want to be bothered.
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Old 11-17-2009, 09:14 PM
Location: Neither here nor there
14,810 posts, read 14,006,436 times
Reputation: 32944
Do you email them?
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Old 11-17-2009, 09:18 PM
10 posts, read 27,930 times
Reputation: 33
They want me to use facebook or send them text messages on my phone. I don't know how to text and would like to hear their voices.
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Old 11-17-2009, 09:33 PM
Location: Happy wherever I am - Florida now
3,359 posts, read 10,911,567 times
Reputation: 3843
I know how you feel.

I use to call my kids every sunday and never got them. Then I stopped. That went on for a while and now I find they have started to call me.
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Old 11-17-2009, 09:49 PM
Location: So. of Rosarito, Baja, Mexico
6,654 posts, read 18,678,878 times
Reputation: 6106
To the OP; Relax as they have their own lives and friends.

My kids NEVER call me on fathers day...too busy or don't give a damn. Has been soooo many yrs I've gotten accustomed to NO calls etc.

Oldest son gave me a used computer that did not work here in Baja Mexico...not enough memory... so I bought my own that works real fine. Have a land phone and cell phone here plus a cell phone for the US. Do not make any calls but need to have for emergency etc.

I do E-Mail my two sons and receive also...thats about it....NO phone calls.

Advantages of the Internet is that it keeps me busy and my mind clear of cobwebs...am sure you understand what I mean.

Have learned many things by reading various info on the Internet...you can do the same thing. I have expanded my knowledge on many things considering that I have been out of college for over 50 yrs.

Meanwhile I have decided to give my home here to a "Great Grandson" (he's ony 5 yrs old) as to the others...thats life.

Remember the old saying "The way they make their bed is the way they sleep in it".

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Old 11-18-2009, 05:18 AM
Location: Central Fl
2,903 posts, read 10,946,976 times
Reputation: 2860
To the OP.

I feel your pain and understand. But it is a new world now, a fast and busy one, and although there is some sadness in that, it is just the way it is.

The fact that they want you to facebook shows they ARE reaching out and wanting relationship...........in their way.

You have a computer, or else you would not be on this forum. I encourage you to learn about facebook.......get help from someone more experienced with it, (it can be scary at first). I joined it to keep tabs on my kids, etc. Now I see a lot more of their life, their friends, etc. They post pictures, videos, etc. We chat, etc.

Get a webcam......(all macs have them) If they have a webcam you can see and talk to them.

There is reward in stretching yourself........

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Old 11-18-2009, 05:21 AM
48,516 posts, read 83,932,349 times
Reputation: 18050
Bascailly too many only keepup when tehy are getting a benefit fron tehir parents;i this case sounds like babysitting services for free. But a a vhgeering note grand aprents in many cases more and more now days actually endup raisng their grand chldren and paying the expenses. they talk about deadbeat fathers but deadbeat parents are getting more and more common now days.
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Old 11-18-2009, 06:39 AM
1,662 posts, read 4,007,967 times
Reputation: 537
Originally Posted by wlaker View Post
They want me to use facebook or send them text messages on my phone. I don't know how to text and would like to hear their voices.
Okay, then my question for you would be: Do you want to stay involved and up to date in their lives? Or do you just want to stew and whine about this?

Sorry to be so harsh, but as the working mother of two active kids, I don't have time to sit down and write my mom a letter and most weekends I wouldn't have time to spend hours on the phone with her. But even with my folks 4 hours away, we are very close and they know pretty much everything that's going on and stay in touch frequently. Frequently as in several times a week, although not always by phone.

So if you want to keep up with them - you have to make the effort to do it.

Get a computer and get on Facebook if that's what they are doing. You can learn, it's not that hard and even my 90 year old grandmother knows how to e-mail!

Here's the thing: By doing this, you will keep up with the small details of their lives. You will know what they are up to. THEN, when you talk to them on the phone, conversations will be easier and more flowing, because you will already feel a part of their everyday lives.

And lastly, you should call once a week, but you shouldn't wait for them to call on a Sunday and then stew for a week when they don't. That's just childish on your part.

Again, sorry to be so harsh, but this is an easy problem to fix if for a pretty small effort on your part. The world isn't going to bend to suit you, but if you want this, you can MAKE it happen. Get on it Grandma!!!
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Old 11-18-2009, 07:09 AM
Location: Tennessee
1,362 posts, read 3,806,260 times
Reputation: 793
We moved away from our only son 2 years ago. He calls when he's in the mood & if he needs something. We call at least once a week to keep in touch. I'd say if you want to talk with them, go ahead and call. One day in the future should something happen, they might say why didn't we call our grandparents more often. Life is too short to wait for the phone to ring, just go ahead and make the call yourself. Life has changed with the internet and no one can force you to join facebook. I only joined awhile ago and found my nieces on there and know more about them then I ever did. My friend has a web cam that she uses for her family (costs about $25). Sometimes we wish times were like years ago when everyone lived near each other but times have changed. We can either go with the changes or be stuck in the past and sometimes a lonely past now.
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Old 11-18-2009, 07:19 AM
7,099 posts, read 24,497,923 times
Reputation: 7302
I don't like talking on the phone. Never did, and never will. My mother drove me nuts by calling every afternoon and yaking for an hour. I just sat there and listened. I am sure that I am not the only one that feels this way.

We have one son that's out of town. We play computer games on the Internet and type in idle chit chat while we play. Just little things that we would never bother to call about.

My husband is 82 and I will soon be 80. We use the Internet for ALL our contact with friends. You could at least try to learn.
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