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Old 11-20-2009, 06:14 AM
 
Location: Central Maine
4,687 posts, read 5,539,153 times
Reputation: 4966

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Quote:
Originally Posted by janetvj View Post
Oh sure, I guess it would have been nice to have some ancestor like Joe Kennedy who made a bundle on liquor, B-grade Hollywood movies, oil and gas, insider trading and real estate who passed that along to the next generation. But my ancesters were either not that smart or not that ruthless. And that's fine with me.
Oh, sure, it would be nice to have some ancestor like Prescott Bush who made considerable profits off Auschwitz slave labor as a buddy of Hitler's during World War II, and who passed along a sizable inheritance to his son, George Herbert Walker Bush, who in turn has made his sons heirs to an inheritance based on Prescott's financial support of Hitler and participation in the Holocaust.

But to get back to the thread, my siblings and I never received an inheritance as such - a few thousand dollars in a life insurance policy, split between the three of us, and that was it. Nor do my wife and I anticipate passing along any great sums of money to our children ... and they know it.
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Old 11-20-2009, 07:45 AM
 
Location: SW MO
23,605 posts, read 31,497,588 times
Reputation: 29076
Quote:
Originally Posted by thrillobyte View Post
"To heck with leaving my kids an inheritance. I never hear from them, except when they need money. I'm going to enjoy my money now and if there's anything left over after my wife (husband) and I kick the bucket, well that their good fortune, but I'm certainly not going to sacrifice our lifestyle for them."
Close! We would be perfectly happy to die leaving just enough to take care of any final bills and costs and leaving nothing for our heirs. That assumes we spent our hard-earned money on enjoyable pursuits like travel.

That's not real, however, as there will always be a financial cushion/nest egg to cover unforseen needs with us or our house so there will be more left than what I said above. But with seven children between us, no one will get rich when we go.

As for the, "You never call. You never write" syndrome, that's life and symptomatic of succeeding generations regardless of how they were raised by their parents, especially now. By the time children reach junior high school they spend more time with and are more influenced by their peers than their parents. While we feel no obligation to leave inheritances, neither will we penalize our children (all adults) for being products of their generation. I mean, why leave behind memories of punitive disregard? We'd rather be loved and missed than resented!
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Old 11-20-2009, 08:37 AM
 
Location: Happy wherever I am - Florida now
3,359 posts, read 10,914,853 times
Reputation: 3843
My kids never call for money. I split what I had with them when they left home, as the divorce left them with no home to return to, so they could get started and they know it. I'm not in a position to leave them much of anything at this point but will try even a small amount as our family is in the habit of it and because they are very responsible. It's hard to get ahead without a few extra dollars. It's more likely that they may have to pitch in for me. Ours, my and my siblings, came mostly from the selling of our parents home after the last one died which is fairly typical. There was no nursing home because I spent ten years taking care of them in the end.

I do see a problem with it in some cases. The bf inherited money that he invests and lives off the earnings of. Big difference than if you have made it yourself. Although he's good with it he's also very cheap and scared to death he's going to lose it. Likewise his kids are waiting around for him to drop dead as they've never made a go of life and have absolutely no idea of how to handle money, nor did he ever teach them. They expect one, we never did even though we knew we'd get something.
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Old 11-20-2009, 08:59 AM
 
Location: Baltimore
1,802 posts, read 7,300,546 times
Reputation: 1914
Quote:
Originally Posted by GreenGene View Post
Oh, sure, it would be nice to have some ancestor like Prescott Bush who made considerable profits off Auschwitz slave labor as a buddy of Hitler's during World War II, and who passed along a sizable inheritance to his son, George Herbert Walker Bush, who in turn has made his sons heirs to an inheritance based on Prescott's financial support of Hitler and participation in the Holocaust.

But to get back to the thread, my siblings and I never received an inheritance as such - a few thousand dollars in a life insurance policy, split between the three of us, and that was it. Nor do my wife and I anticipate passing along any great sums of money to our children ... and they know it.
Hey - I agree 100%. I wasn't trying to be political - in fact, as far as my politics goes I'm a very liberal Democrat. I guess IMO it's a good thing Joe Kennedy made enough dough that his descendents could not worry about making a living and instead focus on trying to make things better in this country. It just seems to me that most people who were "born rich" had ancestors that were rather cut-throat.

In my own case, my Mom passed away in 2002, and God love her she was a real shopper. She was happiest when she was at the mall finding her bargains at the department stores.

My Dad, on the other hand, passed away in 2006. And while I loved him to death he was a real tight-wad. After Mom died, I doubt he spent another penny unless it was for food or some other neccessity.

As far as inheritance goes, after all was said and done my 4 siblings and I ended up with about $10,000 apiece - and a good part of that was from the sale of the mobile home that they lived in. We joke (but it's true) that if Dad had passed first, Mom would have happily spent all that and then some! And all of us agree that we would never have begrudged her that!
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Old 11-20-2009, 09:08 AM
 
Location: Duncan, Oklahoma
2,601 posts, read 1,231,928 times
Reputation: 2015
I'll probably get flamed for this, but I see things a different way. Maybe I have a better relationship with my daughter (even though it hasn't always been perfect) or maybe it's that "only child" syndrome I have for her, but I think parents should leave something for their kids. My parents have three children and a pretty sizable equal inheritance will be given to us upon their death. I will be grateful for it, but I don't need it, so it and what my husband and I have left (which will be pretty good, too, I think) will go to our daughter. She's our child and I think it is part of my responsibility as a parent to her to leave her with what I can when her father and I go. I don't have any research or references or anything quantifiable to explain this judgment. It's just the way I feel. I guess it's the way my parents taught me. It just seems right to me that I should do all I can for her.
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Old 11-20-2009, 10:51 AM
 
11,259 posts, read 11,273,591 times
Reputation: 3457
I think parents should spend comfortably according to their whims and desires and not deliberately try to spend it down to not leave something for their kids (especially the ones who have little kids and are struggling) out of some vendetta for not remembering them on occasion. My mother has several pieces of property and she wants to pass it onto my brother and I but we have adamantly said we would rather she spend it on good nursing home care for her own safety. I'm trying to convince her to sell one since her bank account is running low from having paid out of pocket $120,000 for the last two years on a nursing home that has literally kept her from accidentally killing herself had she been at home. But she insists on returning and there's no way I or my brother can prevent it so I'm trying to make her home as safe as possible for her. Sometimes the other way is more difficult when an elderly parent has made up their mind to leave their estate behind when the children don't want it or expect it.
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Old 11-20-2009, 01:35 PM
 
Location: Indiana
324 posts, read 506,192 times
Reputation: 351
Educator, also I hope, you won't get flamed.
Some people have financially a comfortable life. If they feel like they should leave something for their kids, that's perfectly all right, as long as they don't have to substantially change their lifestyle.
From what you wrote, I sense, you and your spouse are doing really well, so thinking of your kids' inheritance makes a lot of sense.
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Old 11-20-2009, 01:53 PM
 
Location: Alaska
5,356 posts, read 16,352,909 times
Reputation: 4024
Our plan is to leave an inheritance to our kids after we pass. Now, this inheritance can be anywhere from $0 to say $1,000,000 for them to split. It all depends on how well the market does between the time we retire to when we die plus any unexpected inflation effects. We're not going to go out and spend more than we need just because we'll have extra funds.
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Old 11-20-2009, 02:40 PM
 
Location: Baltimore
1,802 posts, read 7,300,546 times
Reputation: 1914
Quote:
Originally Posted by akck View Post
Our plan is to leave an inheritance to our kids after we pass. Now, this inheritance can be anywhere from $0 to say $1,000,000 for them to split. It all depends on how well the market does between the time we retire to when we die plus any unexpected inflation effects. We're not going to go out and spend more than we need just because we'll have extra funds.
I agree with this. I (hopefully) have planned well enough that I'll have enough money to live on for a long time. Between my pension, SS (when I'm eligible), and the little bit of savings and investments I have put away, I should be okay without having to use the equity in my house. So if all goes as planned, my kids will split whatever is left, including the house. But I'm not depriving myself of a decent lifestyle trying to save everything for them.
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Old 11-20-2009, 03:24 PM
 
13,323 posts, read 25,574,131 times
Reputation: 20520
Am I the only poster whose parents never had a pot to, uh, do anything in?
I didn't know there were such things as inheritances until I moved to Boston and met some Old Money people.
My parents, divorced but living together in a tiny trailer, lived on Soc. Security, and not much of that, eithre. When my mother died, my father stayed in the trailer. I think he gets about $1300 a month. Period. Never had any assets, and certainly never had a concept of leaving anything to me or my sister. In fact, when I was 18, I bought their old Chevy Impala from them for $300. It was stolen and dumped in a river two weeks later. There was never any consideration of helping me out (and $300 was a fair price for that big ol' boat back then).
I see people middle-aged and all, counting on getting something from their elders. I hope they all get written out. No one owes their kids anything, and certainly not if it means skimping on a nice life the elders have worked to earn.
I am leaving my assets to various charitable groups, animals, the library, refugees. I specified nothing to go to my sister, as I don't like her or how she views money and materialism.
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