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Old 11-20-2009, 03:31 PM
 
Location: California
30,702 posts, read 33,496,337 times
Reputation: 26130

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I told my retired parents to do this. There is no such thing as a "deserved inheratiance" and I'd be happy with a few key momentos and memories. Money isn't for your kids.

I'm not retired yet but I'm not doing any special "financial planning" to leave anything to my kids. No life insurance policies or financial accounts in their name or anything like that. Just the basics, for me.
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Old 11-20-2009, 04:03 PM
 
Location: Alaska
5,356 posts, read 16,354,822 times
Reputation: 4024
I'll probably get something when my mom dies. Personally, I hope she is able to spend all of it, but her expenses are less than her SS income, so it's mainly for medical expenses not covered by Medicare. My wife's father has assets that were to go to his two daughters. He remarried with a prenuptial, but who knows if it's still in force. My wife is expecting nothing, but it will irk her if it ends up going to her kids.
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Old 11-20-2009, 04:13 PM
 
Location: Boca Raton, FL
5,177 posts, read 8,701,447 times
Reputation: 6199
Smile I agree with the quote below

Quote:
Originally Posted by educator1953 View Post
I'll probably get flamed for this, but I see things a different way. Maybe I have a better relationship with my daughter (even though it hasn't always been perfect) or maybe it's that "only child" syndrome I have for her, but I think parents should leave something for their kids. My parents have three children and a pretty sizable equal inheritance will be given to us upon their death. I will be grateful for it, but I don't need it, so it and what my husband and I have left (which will be pretty good, too, I think) will go to our daughter. She's our child and I think it is part of my responsibility as a parent to her to leave her with what I can when her father and I go. I don't have any research or references or anything quantifiable to explain this judgment. It's just the way I feel. I guess it's the way my parents taught me. It just seems right to me that I should do all I can for her.
In my family, I always had to help my parents financially. How many children do you know that from the age of 16 had to do this? In those days, you did it and didn't complain. Since no one else knew, I thought this is what everyone had to do. I was very naive. But I loved my parents, still do and would probably do it again. Obviously, there will be nothing. My parents were loving, wonderful people though with many friends and enjoyed life.

My husband's family watched every dime. His poor mom never really got to enjoy it. My husband and I would like my FIL to enjoy it a bit. However, this is the other side of the coin. Loving people but shy, not many friends and now, most are gone so my FIL is lonely. We are now trying to get him to move closer to us and I think he's more open to that. He is all my husband has and I really want my husband to have that time with him.

I personally believe there is a middle road. I would feel awful if my children had to help me but probably worse, if I had no friends!

I do believe in leaving something, isn't that biblical anyway?
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Old 11-20-2009, 05:07 PM
 
Location: Bayside, NY
823 posts, read 3,375,780 times
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I hope that there is enough money after I go that my children & grandchildren can get some but I'm sure not going to deny myself anything.
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Old 11-20-2009, 06:24 PM
 
11,261 posts, read 11,276,606 times
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Quote:
I do believe in leaving something, isn't that biblical anyway?
No, it isn't.
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Old 11-20-2009, 07:41 PM
 
26,591 posts, read 52,334,622 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GreenGene View Post
Oh, sure, it would be nice to have some ancestor like Prescott Bush who made considerable profits off Auschwitz slave labor as a buddy of Hitler's during World War II, and who passed along a sizable inheritance to his son, George Herbert Walker Bush, who in turn has made his sons heirs to an inheritance based on Prescott's financial support of Hitler and participation in the Holocaust.
I don't think it would be nice... it would be embarrassing to say the least.
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Old 11-20-2009, 07:42 PM
 
Location: southern california
55,668 posts, read 74,655,684 times
Reputation: 48187
i help but when i dont see the money used for what i gave it, the party is over.
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Old 11-20-2009, 07:49 PM
 
26,591 posts, read 52,334,622 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by brightdoglover View Post
Am I the only poster whose parents never had a pot to, uh, do anything in?
I didn't know there were such things as inheritances until I moved to Boston and met some Old Money people.
My parents, divorced but living together in a tiny trailer, lived on Soc. Security, and not much of that, eithre. When my mother died, my father stayed in the trailer. I think he gets about $1300 a month. Period. Never had any assets, and certainly never had a concept of leaving anything to me or my sister. In fact, when I was 18, I bought their old Chevy Impala from them for $300. It was stolen and dumped in a river two weeks later. There was never any consideration of helping me out (and $300 was a fair price for that big ol' boat back then).
I see people middle-aged and all, counting on getting something from their elders. I hope they all get written out. No one owes their kids anything, and certainly not if it means skimping on a nice life the elders have worked to earn.
I am leaving my assets to various charitable groups, animals, the library, refugees. I specified nothing to go to my sister, as I don't like her or how she views money and materialism.
I had a very dear aged great aunt pass away... she managed her money very well and never asked for any help although she was very appreciative when offered... she was the type of person that would pay all her bills in person... water, electric, garbage, phone... and everyone knew her name everywhere.

In her will she mentioned each family member by name with a nice thing said about each of us... she had less than $3,000 in the bank and said we should divide it 9 ways and do something fun... except for me.

I had been taking care of her 1959 Rambler since I had my license... oil change every 6 months... (about 400) miles and a wash and wax... she left it to me instead of cash... I keep it under blankets in the garage and will always have it...
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Old 11-21-2009, 12:40 AM
 
11,261 posts, read 11,276,606 times
Reputation: 3457
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ultrarunner View Post
I had a very dear aged great aunt pass away... she managed her money very well and never asked for any help although she was very appreciative when offered... she was the type of person that would pay all her bills in person... water, electric, garbage, phone... and everyone knew her name everywhere.

In her will she mentioned each family member by name with a nice thing said about each of us... she had less than $3,000 in the bank and said we should divide it 9 ways and do something fun... except for me.

I had been taking care of her 1959 Rambler since I had my license... oil change every 6 months... (about 400) miles and a wash and wax... she left it to me instead of cash... I keep it under blankets in the garage and will always have it...
What a nice story. So much in just three short paragraphs.
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Old 11-21-2009, 12:58 AM
 
Location: NW Montana
6,258 posts, read 12,919,135 times
Reputation: 3429
Something to consider.
You die, your spouse remarries, the new husband influences your widow to buy huge house with her money, she dies, he is living the life on your dime.
Your kids can not even access childhood photos, he has everything and is willing it all to his children.
It happens.
Please reconsider at least leaving mementos IN writing to your children. From the grave you cannot change your mind.
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