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Old 11-29-2009, 08:47 PM
 
Location: Boca Raton, FL
5,174 posts, read 8,696,248 times
Reputation: 6185

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I just had a refreshing conversation with my aunt and her husband about their retirement options - he is 85, she is 84 - and right now, in fairly good health and they have their wits about them. They are looking at retirement villages where there are many options and they wanted to know what I thought. I think it's a great idea and realistic. They are looking forward to being around more people and about the many activities offered (for example - they love to dance).

We had a nice chat. I got to thinking about my FIL, now age 87. He lives alone but we have to check on him every other day at least if not more - he lives an hour from us - we are trying to get him to move closer to us (single family home) and he's at about 60% there. However, after talking to my aunt, I think the retirement village concept might be more appealing to him b/c of the activities.

Anyone been there where a parent didn't want to leave their home but when they did, they were glad? Right now, he's leaning toward the single family home but maybe if we showed him some, he would like them (especially if he saw some women his age who love to dance!)

This is kind of lying in my lap - my husband wants me to handle it. I'm in the middle
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Old 11-29-2009, 10:53 PM
 
Location: We_tside PNW (Columbia Gorge) / CO / SA TX / Thailand
22,585 posts, read 39,962,822 times
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Since I seem to be waving the Senior Co-op Banner, Here are some stats dealing with this topic: (Dated (1997), but from a study of Rural Seniors who are often far more interested and capable of their independence.

A Look at the Satisfaction of Rural Seniors
with Cooperative Housing

""Ninety-five percent of the co-op residents moved to their current residence from single-family homes where most of them had lived for long periods of time (a median of 33 years). Despite their long tenure in their previous homes, respondents expressed a great deal of satisfaction with co-op housing...Seventy-seven percent of the co-op respondents said that they preferred their current residence to their previous home; 92% said that they would recommend their current residence to others; and 82% said they would move to their current residence again if they could do it over. While previous research has shown that elders want to remain living in their own homes as long as possible (see Butler & Lewis, 1982; Vladek, 1980), this study showed that an overwhelming majority of the respondents -- even those who were long-term home owners -- who moved to co-op housing were satisfied with their decision to move and would do it again if they could re-make their decision.
The area that had the most positive impact on respondents was the "ease of home maintenance." Ninety-seven percent of respondents said that the co-op had a good effect on the ease of maintaining their home. Ninety-five percent said that the co-op had a good effect on their personal safety, and 92% reported that the co-op had a good effect on their life satisfaction. An overwhelming majority of respondents also indicated that the co-op had a positive effect on the quality of their contact with friends (83%), the amount of contact with friends (82%), their happiness (81%), and their access to leisure activities (81%). Although many people might be concerned that cooperative living would reduce a person's privacy, 79% of respondents said that the co-op had a good effect on their personal privacy and nobody reported that the co-op had adversely affected their privacy.

http://www.seniorcoops.org/altus.html

Housing and Services Alternatives for Seniors - Making the Right Choice
Terry W. McKinley
""The following discussion identifies pertinent aspects of the four principal types of senior facilities:

Independent living facilities (ILFs): rental, condominium, and cooperative
Assisted living facilities (ALFs)
Continuing care retirement communities (CCRCs)
Long term care facilities ("LTCs")""
Housing and Services Alternatives for Seniors - Making the Right Choice

Co-ops are certainly not for everyone, but it's another option. I spend a bit of time dealing with seniors and most are happy after the decision to move into a 'less maint' place, some take time to get into the simplicity of it. Some are not keen on it. Really depends on the person and their choice to be happy in-spite of disappointments (such is life). AND finding the right situation. I will warn that age 85 is typically a tad late for a co-op, but some folks stay independent till past 100 (Stats so the elderly age "independently" 10 yrs LONGER in a Co-op... caring for each other, social, and co-op management by resident residents.) I would look for a 'village' type 'aging in place' opportunity so as not to have to disrupt / split couple up in older age. (what I hope to build BEFORE I'm the first client...)

Also look into NORC Naturally Occurring Retirement Community. (where OUR generation will likely end up)
Senior Resource for Aging in Place
Naturally Occurring Retirement Community (NORC)
http://www.norcs.com/index.aspx?page=1

In the meantime do what you can to make them comfortable and safe. (I'm trying to help sell homes of several seniors that need a higher level of care; rough seas ahead, try to get this handled BEFORE driving / mobility restrictions)

Go eat a couple meals at the local senior center and strike up some conversations with them, you will learn a lot, but no simple answer
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Old 11-30-2009, 07:13 AM
 
Location: Tennessee
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My parents moved into a retirement village when my dad retired. They loved all of the activities it had to offer. Many years later when my mom passed away, my dad bought a small home near my brother. After being in the home for a year, he regretted moving out of the retirement village. He had made so many friends and missed all the activities. My dad had planned on moving into another retirement village near my brother but passed away before he was able to.
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Old 11-30-2009, 07:40 AM
 
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Your FIL is 87 years old, and at this point you have to check in on him at least every other day if not more. These strike me as pretty limiting parameters, or they should be.

At eighty-seven you can only reasonably expect his health to go in one direction, and perhaps with stunning rapidity. If he has to be uprooted now, then it seems that a move to a continuing care type place is the best option. Why move him from one private house to another one in another community, and then yet again probably very soon into a facility with care provided.
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Old 11-30-2009, 10:08 AM
 
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At that age I agree that health can change very quickly has it did with my parents and my wifes parents.I wouldn't get into any long term committtemnt to buy anyhting.I also would say that being rural at that age has many hazards to do with medical facilties type and their closeness.
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Old 11-30-2009, 01:48 PM
 
Location: Boca Raton, FL
5,174 posts, read 8,696,248 times
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Smile Retirement options

My FIL wants to be in a single family home if he moves closer to us. We want the home in a decent place anyway and we would inherit the property and rent it out when that time came.

He is very independent and thinks he's fine (other than his hip).

We worry about him. At one point, it looked like he might want to live with us. We would have to put an addition on our home with a separate entrance. (That's what he wanted).

My husband changed his mind on that and said he'd rather his dad be on his own or in independent living type thing with activities but close to us.

It's been very hard for us - my husband doesn't have the time to travel 1 hour each way - it is impacting his business and he has thrown it in my lap. He makes me go also so it has an impact on my business as well. We usually work over 70 hours a week anyway.

My FIL's neighborhood is changing - he's been there 28 years - the new group is coming in; the people he knows are moving out. I would say it's in a state of decline. That's another reason.

I really like the co-op idea but I don't think there's anything like that even near us at all. Getting him closer to us is part of our goal.
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Old 11-30-2009, 02:21 PM
 
Location: We_tside PNW (Columbia Gorge) / CO / SA TX / Thailand
22,585 posts, read 39,962,822 times
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OK, thx for the additional info (especially the 70 hr weeks / added responsibility to you, and inheritance / renting option). I would really consider 'bending the 'SFR' and try to find a nice duplex or 4 plex with ground level entrance and no steps for him, and near a bus line / walking distance to stores, senior center, and library. There are some nice "Multi Fam Residence" (MFR) designs that give lots of independence, and these units cash flow much better than a SFR, and are easier to fill and maintain. + cash is coming from more that one source.

If a SFR is a must, find a very low $$ / low SF /low maint unit that will be ez to resell in a down market. Then... after the fact, trade it (1031 exchange) for a MFR for your investment income. JM $.02 I think commercial props (some MFR) are gonna get hit worse in the next 2 yrs as far as valuations are concerned, BUT if you are gonna have a loan, rates are probably near best now.
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Old 11-30-2009, 04:52 PM
 
Location: Boca Raton, FL
5,174 posts, read 8,696,248 times
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Smile Another option

Great thought - I may know of a duplex. Triplexes and 4-plexes aren't real common around us and that would it harder on us. Kind of defeats the purpose.

One of the homes I found is right behind our office, went into foreclosure, is now bank owned. We've seen the inside but the bank hasn't "listed" it yet so we're crossing our fingers. We could literally walk to it - I envision my husband walking over there at lunch and just sitting with his dad in the back yard overlooking the pool, having a little bite to eat. Good for both of them.

We would have to get a mortgage initially but then would pay it off when his current home sells. (He doesn't like debt and that's fine with us). We have to fix up his current home (did I say hoarder? - well almost hoarder).

That would take so much stress off my husband (who I worry about) and also give both of them a chance to really spend quality time together. When his dad goes, my husband will not have anyone (othan than my family and our children). He doesn't yet realize the loss that he will feel.

My mom has Alzheimers and I've lost my dad and I feel quite a loss and I have siblings. My husband is an only.

Even though it might sound like I'm pushing this, I've been through it already and I know what's ahead.

When the time comes, assisted living options will be there. He's on a fixed income and that will not change so that's a relief.
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Old 12-02-2009, 06:43 AM
 
Location: Tennessee
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Bette, I see you live in Boca Raton, FL. My fil lives in Century Village in Boca Raton and loves it there. He will be 82 in January.
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Old 12-02-2009, 09:31 AM
 
Location: Boca Raton, FL
5,174 posts, read 8,696,248 times
Reputation: 6185
Smile Century Village

I wish I could get my FIL to think about a condo. There is even a Century Village west of him in Pembroke Pines. Some of the units are quite inexpensive now too.

He dislikes HOA's and rules, basically. He wants a garage to tinker in and he doesn't want to be "boxed" in. (Meaning like a townhome with an enjoined wall).

He goes to these dances at The German Club, The Polish Club, you get the idea. Most of the ladies he dances with are in condos so you would think.....

We own a condo that we owned for my mom. How easy that would be to put him in there. It's huge too, first floor, community pools, tennis, other activities but he said "no way"

If we could get him into one of these places, he'd never want to leave and we'd probably never get to see him b/c he'd be too busy! I have tried, believe me.
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