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Old 12-14-2009, 02:37 PM
 
Location: Oxygen Ln. AZ
9,321 posts, read 16,592,476 times
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The other thing you must be prepared to do is become the driver for them. I had to take my folks to the store, dr appts and outtings for 15 years. I still take my 94 year old mom to the doctors and out to lunch. You can sign up with an in home care service and they sometimes offer driving to appts.
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Old 12-14-2009, 02:42 PM
 
Location: Oxygen Ln. AZ
9,321 posts, read 16,592,476 times
Reputation: 5692
Quote:
Originally Posted by no kudzu View Post
If you are the one to take a parents car or keys away, be prepared for their wrath. My mother who had dementia accused me of stealing her car, killing her cats ( had to find new homes for them cause she wasn't taking care of them) and actually stealing her life cause I had to put her in assisted living. She lived with me and my family for 10 years and almost ruined my marriage so after 10 years I just had to be firm.

She made my life a living hell but I had to keep telling myself it was her dementia. Still it was hard.
The hardest thing in the picture is living with them in your home. My husband is a saint but it did strain our marriage from time to time. The other day I went to see her and I had to chase all the baby turtles out of her room before she would let me sit down. I simply went along with it. Sometimes instead of arguing, you just go along with it. Unless it is a dangerous situation.
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Old 12-14-2009, 09:18 PM
 
96 posts, read 226,866 times
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When my late Father was 74 he crossed into oncoming traffic then ran a red light and broadsided a minivan going 50 mph. The family in the van survived due to airbags and seatbelts. His insurance company declared his car totalled but he was ready to take the insurance money and go buy another car! Well the police officer at the scene called me later and told me I had to stop my father from driving, I told him I had already told my father that he was never driving again. My father was mad as hell and stayed angry with me for quite awhile. Later on I took him to the doctor and he was diagnosed with early dementia. I was his chauffeur for the last years of his life. When you become the "parent" making the decisions it feels very strange but necessary.
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Old 12-15-2009, 06:14 AM
 
Location: SW MO
23,605 posts, read 31,514,657 times
Reputation: 29081
Quote:
Originally Posted by TCMlover View Post
When my late Father was 74 he crossed into oncoming traffic then ran a red light and broadsided a minivan going 50 mph. The family in the van survived due to airbags and seatbelts. His insurance company declared his car totalled but he was ready to take the insurance money and go buy another car! Well the police officer at the scene called me later and told me I had to stop my father from driving, I told him I had already told my father that he was never driving again. My father was mad as hell and stayed angry with me for quite awhile. Later on I took him to the doctor and he was diagnosed with early dementia. I was his chauffeur for the last years of his life. When you become the "parent" making the decisions it feels very strange but necessary.
In a way, I envy you that. My mother died of pancreatic cancer and my father was not in good health. I lived almost 500 miles away and tried to talk Dad into moving where I was so we could help out, provide him with some family time and give him some good, home-cooked meals. It took six months of coaxing until he finally acknowledged that it was probably the best thing. Unfortunately, he never made it and died two months later.
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