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Old 06-28-2013, 08:08 PM
 
Location: Los Angeles area
14,018 posts, read 17,740,386 times
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Life's transitions are marked by ceremonies in almost all societies. Baptisms, coming-of-age (in various ways in different religions and ethnic groups), marriages, and deaths. Even retirements are marked in many workplaces with some kind of send-off gathering. I do not understand the opposition to funerals and/or memorial services. We gather to honor the person who has died and/or support the ones who are mourning the deceased. What could be more normal than that?

Yes, I recognize the abuses which people have talked about - eulogies by people who didn't know what they were talking about because they didn't know the deceased and overly long services. I am against both, but not against services per se. When I think back on the deaths of my parents, 12 and 8 years ago, I can't even imagine NOT having some sort of service to formally mark the occasion. Not having a service would have left a feeling of incompleteness somehow.

The death of someone who was a significant part of our lives, whether related to us by blood or not, is a major event. It deserves to be marked, in some way or another.
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Old 06-28-2013, 08:19 PM
 
Location: Verde Valley AZ
8,618 posts, read 9,684,845 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Minervah View Post
That reminds me of my grandfather's funeral service. But in this case it was a single eulogy. What a farce! He was an old curmudgeon but when he was young, he was a young curmudgeon as well. He had no use for people other than his beloved wife and when she passed away he became even meaner than he ever was.

But his funeral was a traditional one in which the rabbi, one who did not know him, spoke of him as a "beloved" husband, "loving" father, "good" neighbor" etc. while the congregation rolled their eyes. I was 14 years old at the time but I remember to this day my dad leaning over and whispering to me "Who the Hell is he talking about?"

I was in tears trying to hold back the giggles.

But his funeral was a traditional one in which the rabbi, one who did not know him, spoke of him as a "beloved" husband, "loving" father, "good" neighbor" etc. while the congregation rolled their eyes. I was 14 years old at the time but I remember to this day my dad leaning over and whispering to me "Who the Hell is he talking about?"

I was in tears trying to hold back the giggles.

I kind of like it when people get up and talk about the deceased. Not necessarily to praise them but when they tell little personal stories about events they shared. Sometimes they tell some pretty interesting stories.
This reminds me of one my uncle's funerals. He was a cad, to put it politely, a cheat and always just a step or two ahead of the law. At his funeral the pastor, who had never met him, went on and on about what a "good man" he was, etc. etc.. I looked over at my brother who had his head in his hands and his shoulders were shaking so people thought he was crying. He was actually laughing so hard he finally had to leave the room! We ALL wondered who the guy was the pastor was talking about 'cause it sure wasn't my uncle.
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Old 06-28-2013, 08:30 PM
 
Location: not where you are
8,138 posts, read 7,643,924 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AZDesertBrat View Post
This reminds me of one my uncle's funerals. He was a cad, to put it politely, a cheat and always just a step or two ahead of the law. At his funeral the pastor, who had never met him, went on and on about what a "good man" he was, etc. etc.. I looked over at my brother who had his head in his hands and his shoulders were shaking so people thought he was crying. He was actually laughing so hard he finally had to leave the room! We ALL wondered who the guy was the pastor was talking about 'cause it sure wasn't my uncle.
LOL, I needed the laugh, you made my night.
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