It was peaceful for my mother.... (friends, years, support, raise)

[Bette]

I had never seen someone pass away in front of me. My mom passed away and her daughters were with her.

She had a heart attack, then was in ICU, then to Hospice b/c she requested "no more" and she had a DNR. It was so hard on all of us but Hospice was wonderful and I don't know how they can tell but they can. (Almost 1 month since the heart attack).

She had a crease on her forehead ever since the heart attack. She had a beautiful complexion with very few wrinkles. As soon as she passed away, the crease was no longer there. She looked so peaceful lying there.

I just wanted all of you to know this that are struggling like we were. It has been so, so hard to watch this strong, once independent lovely woman decline and the stress has been there relentlessly. I know she lived a long life and her faith was great. She has family and many friends. To me, she died a wealthy woman.

[Gandalara]

Bette, I'm so sorry for your loss.

[StealthRabbit]

Thanks for posting this, it is a tough time and I'm glad you had peace in this process and the assurance and care from hospice. I have had the privilege of attending some friends and some of my own family at death. This older generation are real fighters to the end, it is comforting when they finally 'go-to-rest'.

My friend that passed away Sunday morning was being very agitated in the last hours, and his attending wife "gave him encouragement to release the struggle and 'rest' in his eternal care" (a strong believer and servant for many yrs). 10 peaceful minutes later he was gone. This is was what we did for my dad as well, and tho in a coma, he relaxed (after 10 days of fight) and the frown dissipated to a slight smile, and the end came.

I doubt I can do this myself so gracefully...

Our condolences and best wishes for support in this time of loss.

[Avalon08]

Bette, I am so sorry. I know you said in another thread your Mom was 89. Mine is 87, and still living on her own in FL, but very frail. She's the "last man standing" of 11 siblings. We have joked many times about what will finally "take her down"....it sounds odd but I think, in a way, it's our way of dealing with the issue of her mortality without being morbid. Her mind is still very sharp, so it's really sad to see her physical health declining. I hope, whatever the plan is, she's at peace and doesn't suffer. Thinking of you, honey....

[Bette]

If she's close to where I am, I'll let you know.

[MotleyCrew]

so very sorry for your loss.

[NHartphotog]

So sorry for the pain you're feeling now. It does let up, but it may take a while.

[Lakewooder]

Bette another testament to your mother is that she raised a wonderful daughter - I've enjoyed reading your posts on City Data the last few years.

[Bette]

Lakewooder: Thank you for that.

All you CDer's are my ventees (if that's a word but you know what I mean). Sometimes, it's easier to vent to others and I have gotten back great advice.

It also helps to know so many of us are going through this. I will always cherish my mom's memory; she left us with many memories - pictures, letters she wrote, just things from HER childhood - most of these items we had never seen but will cherish.

Even though I knew her passing was inevitable (sp?), I just was not prepared for the emotions - thought I had that handled!

Again, thanks to all. She definitely left her footprint.

(We expect over 100 - at least - at her memorial service).

[texdav]

We lost my mother in law in December that lived with us the last year at 89. I know just how the loss effected you as I previously went thru it with my parents. In time you will appreciate having time with her and begin to realise what she passed on to you and its value in this world.God Bless