Making a Will (divorce, divorced, inheritance, fighting)

[Waterlily]

Most of us here are getting up there in age. Something that needs to be done is making a will. Do you think going to a lawyer to get a will made is worth the price?

Myself I have another thing to consider when making out a will. That is who do I leave my property ect. to. Oh my husband and I will leave it to each other if one of us goes first but then what? My kids have done very well for themselves and really don't need anything I could leave them. I may consider leaving everything to the grandchildren.

Do you have a will?

[ontheroad]

Yes, I have a will. I've left everything to my children with the understanding that they would use the money for my grand-children's education.

[Miami Vice]

I heard that you could buy a will preparation package at Office Depot and have it notarized with 3 witnesses. I heard that you don't need a lawyer unless your estate is over a certain amount or if it's a complicated situation. Luckily, I'm able to have mine prepared for free through a program at work for it's employees. Good Luck.

[HDL]

but SunnyH and I were talking earlier today and we are both open to ADOPTION if any of you want two slightly used, older children !! We're both very low maintenance and great companions (okay, I can only vouch for myself in these areas, but a free trial period can be negotiated for SunnyH )!

Our preference would be a weathy older couple, but we'd also be open to a divorcee or widow ! Please submit your applications ASAP as we expect to be snatched up quickly !

[Twinkle Toes]

Yes we have wills which are part of our family trust. For simple wills and an estate under $600,000 it is not necessary to have a lawyer prepare the will unless you absolutely don't know how to do it.

By the way, I am also up for adoption!

[yellowsnow]

I think almost everyone should have a will. It's your stuff, you worked hard for it and you should decide who ends up with it. That said, there's a lot to be said for being fair. I have 2 stories. I will type one tonight and the other tomorrow. They are both true.

A man and a woman work hard and buy a huge sugar beet farm in North Dakota. They work the farm all their lives and over the years they do better; going from just subsistence to being able to afford some of the better things in life. They have 6 children. The kids are encouraged to do well in school and go to college. The kids all work hard on the farm too. They also have paper routes, and babysit, for extra money. Finally the first 5 kids all end up in school as their parents wished. The last child and youngest son has it a lot easier than the other 5 because by now, mom and dad are doing much better. Dad decides the youngest son needs to takeover the family farm. He doesn't want the farm split up after he dies. And after all, the older kids are all out in the world and working for a living. So he makes a will leaving everything to the youngest son.

Eventually, dad passes away and all 6 kids learn about their father's will. The youngest son and only heir immediately sells the family farm and retires at 30, an instant multi-millionaire. But you never get something for nothing. The other siblings felt he should have shared his jackpot. You can't imagine the fighting, hatred, and vitriol this caused between brothers and sisters who had previously been close. Even today, years later, most of the sisters and brothers no longer speak to each other. This more or less destroyed the family.

There's no doubt dad had every right to do what he pleased with his posessions. I wonder if he would have changed his mind if he had known what was going to happen? I've always wondered how he could NOT have known this was going to be a problem?

This is why I always vote for fair. In an inheritance, money equates to love and it hurts to be the one who is left out. If an inheritance is given on the basis of need, the less favored child is being punished for being capable. The favored child is being rewarded for incompetence. Fair is the only division that can't be misinterpreted.

[ontheroad]

Adoption?

Well, always worth considering!

I agree with you, yellow snow about fair. But wills and inheritance are always tricky and touchy issues (for another thread).

[Keeper]

I have a will only because I have seen what happens when you don't have one. My father and his wife didn't have a will and her children got everything except the few things that belonged to my Dad. She divorced my Dad because she thought he was going to have to go to a nursing home which as it turned out she died before he did. Her kids let him stay in the house now in her name until he died. She wanted them to divide everything equally between 3 of them and it turned out one wanted more. Same thing happened when my Dad passed away. My brother cashed a check for $10K and left my sister and I with very little. He figured it was fair since my Dad gave my sister and I diamond rings. Now my sister won't speak to him.
I made sure everything is in writing so hopefully that won't happen with my children and step children.

[Sam I Am]

I agree - there are so many things that can be solved by a will - at least your wishes are known. My husband and his brother and sister are now estranged over a very vaguely worded "just split it up" will - no one was happy and no one has spoken in 10 years. How absurd.

Anything legal needs a lawyer - whether it's a divorce or death or repossession or buying a house. That's why there's so many of them.....our son is an attorney and he has seen some entirely unfair things in the courts because people didn't have a legal, binding document for their will.

People show their worst side at a time of death or divorce.......I won't put my kids in a bad position where one could feel some ill will toward the other just because I really don't want to deal with the inevitable. Get an attorney, make it all legal, even do a videotape. It isn't foolproof, but it sure will help in the long run. You can leave it all in a trust for your grandchildren's education if you want - but I wouldn't leave anything to oral agreements or "understandings" - which frequently are understood to mean whatever someone wants them to mean.

[ontheroad]

Just for the record, and for those of us thinking about a move, last wills and testaments, are upheld and regulated to some degree on a state by state basis, and I've had to make several different wills to conform to individual standards over the years.