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Old 11-16-2016, 07:58 AM
 
Location: Loudon, TN
5,783 posts, read 4,838,667 times
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I have friends who are so busy in retirement that they don't have time for sitting around. And I know a few others who say they are afraid to retire because they don't know what they'll do with their time. So, I guess it all depends on the individuals self-motivation.
One of my busiest retired friends goes to the VFW with her hubby. They have become so active with the women's auxiliary and the various programs for veterans and surviving widows that they have something going on almost every day.

As for us, we have almost too many recreational pursuits from boating, golfing, playing pickleball, hiking, taking classes, going places with the vintage car club, or just visiting with friends and traveling to local sights. In addition, we both have our hobbies at home...I sew and craft, cook, bake bread, etc. Hubby maintains our vehicles, does the yard work, and is teaching himself to weld. He took a class for that and it requires much practice to do it well.

Perhaps some of these men are recently widowed as some suggest, or just have no friends and can't figure out how to make them. But I think sitting around doing nothing is a choice for most. They could join an organization like the Elks, Rotary, American Legion or VFW, Lions, Habitat for Humanity, etc. There they would find many new friends and worthwhile things to do with themselves. Retired execs could volunteer for SCORE. In our neighborhood they could volunteer for the citizen's patrol (trumped up neighborhood watch with cop cars), or volunteer fire department or first responders volunteers. So many organizations need volunteers, and many hobby clubs or other "affinity groups" can't find people to run for the officer positions on their boards. If they have transportation to the mall, they could probably go just about anywhere else they want. It just seems like a lack of imagination to me.
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Old 11-16-2016, 08:05 AM
 
4,315 posts, read 2,523,101 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by katie45 View Post
Amazing how some believe they can read other's minds and come to a conclusion as to exactly what their lives are like.

They see seniors in a mall, or a grocery store, or wherever and if they aren't skipping and singing "Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah" they automatically 'know' those are miserable, lonely retired people.
Great point !

There is a McDonalds in the big Walmart store near me and many times there are men sitting alone with a cup of coffee and maybe ...APPEARING...to be sad and lonely.

On occasion I have struck up a conversation with them and discovered they were far from being " depressed and lonely ".

Some had aches and pains which explained why there wasn't a constant smile on their face.
Nearly all I spoke with were content and happy with their life and retirement.
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Old 11-16-2016, 08:08 AM
 
11,992 posts, read 5,122,573 times
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Personally, I find it very odd that a man of any age would be hanging out at the mall just for the sake of hanging out or passing time. It's not what men like to do unless you're about teen age and are there to try to hookup with teenage girls.
I'd rather do anything than hang out at a mall even go to a movie by myself. In fact, I don't think I've even walked the local mall here in about 3 years.
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Old 11-16-2016, 10:40 AM
 
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Who says they're sad, bored or lonely? If they're seeking out conversation with their peers, whether it be at a mall or a coffee shop, then they're on the right track. Sad, bored and lonely would be the guy in his man cave, shielded and secluded from all social behavior excepting his tv or computer.
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Old 11-16-2016, 10:52 AM
 
9,151 posts, read 7,214,181 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by luvmyhoss View Post
When I relax my face, I look angry.

So I try to smile
Me too. Its technical name is RBF.

So I'm always smiling too but unfortunately that makes me look daffy and people treat me like a child. Guess that's better than being glared at.
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Old 11-16-2016, 11:12 AM
 
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I see a lot more tired and bored young people sitting around than older guys. The older people have learned to converse and seem to be pretty happy meeting up with their buddies at the local McDonald's.
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Old 11-16-2016, 11:18 AM
 
Location: Lakewood OH
21,699 posts, read 23,668,169 times
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Malls are actually great places to get together with other people. There are often comfy chairs and food courts where people can meet and socialize. They are also good, safe places for walking especially if they are indoors. There are even mall walking clubs.

There are other places where people with time on their hands hang out like libraries and coffee shops. It's more like those who never leave their homes in order to avoid people are the unhappy ones.

Unless the OP knows the men he sees at the mall personally, he really has no way of knowing whether or not they are unhappy.
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Old 11-16-2016, 11:31 AM
 
6,573 posts, read 1,355,446 times
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Speaking of lonely old people, I will never forget about 25 years ago when I was in my late 30's going to a Chinese food place for lunch (by myself), and seeing an old lady (probably about 75-80), all dressed up (yes, a dress, heels, make-up and hair nicely done) and sitting by herself. I always wondered if she had been "stood up" by someone, and it made me sad. I still think of her and wonder if she would have appreciated my asking her if she would like some company, even though it would been outside MY "comfort zone" to do so.

Last edited by katharsis; 11-16-2016 at 11:49 AM..
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Old 11-16-2016, 03:07 PM
 
Location: in the miseries
3,302 posts, read 3,579,794 times
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Around here cold. So the mall is a good
social opportunity
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Old 11-16-2016, 04:25 PM
 
Location: Lakewood OH
21,699 posts, read 23,668,169 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by whocares811 View Post
Speaking of lonely old people, I will never forget about 25 years ago when I was in my late 30's going to a Chinese food place for lunch (by myself), and seeing an old lady (probably about 75-80), all dressed up (yes, a dress, heels, make-up and hair nicely done) and sitting by herself. I always wondered if she had been "stood up" by someone, and it made me sad. I still think of her and wonder if she would have appreciated my asking her if she would like some company, even though it would been outside MY "comfort zone" to do so.
Wow, you sure assume a lot. I don't see any indication of her appearance indicating she had been stood up. Maybe this lady got dressed up and took herself out because she enjoys her own company and celebrates by wanting to look her best.

In other words, maybe she wanted to be alone and would not have appreciated a stranger intruding on her.
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