U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 05-16-2015, 06:24 AM
 
Location: ☀️ SWFL ⛱ 🌴
2,439 posts, read 1,675,248 times
Reputation: 8726

Advertisements

I read through this old thread and am not worried about DH ever becoming one of these men.

He doesn't sit still so he doesn't watch much TV, shops only for clothes when he has to, so mall/store trips are very infequent. He doesn't accompany me on my few trips either. He's not retired yet and uses his off time to de-stress by working on his sailboat, an old car he keeps running, and the always endless repairs around the house. He likes to problem solve on and off the job.

If I die before him, I'm not worried about him at all. He goes to a weekly yoga class by himself, which usually has one or two other guys, otherwise it's all women and he's totally comfortable with that. Years ago, in his twenties, he got a job at the corporation he's still with, and came home to tell me he got into a car pool with three other people. His department was all men and I asked him what guys he was going to be driving with. It wasn't the guys he worked with, but three women from the front office. He drove with them for several years before transferring and was kept up on the latest company news, they knew it all first.

He will stay busy and have many opportunities to hook up or find another mate. He's an engaged and multi-faceted person who is interested in everything. He loves his work and is successful at what he does while maintaining his equanimity and personal life.

I find these stories of lonely, wandering mall men and men escaping nagging wives to be such outdated stereotypes. I know they exist, but I think there are more couples now who aren't living in set roles and stereotypes. Men and women exist who can take care of themselves without a mate, but enjoy the company of another independent person.

People that worry about retiring when they see aimless wanderers at the mall or elsewhere are projecting their own fears. They seem to take comfort in the fact that all retirees are like what they see at the mall, making the argument for never retiring. Retirees/retirements are not all the same and dated stereotypes have never been true for all. Each to their own reality in the end.

Last edited by jean_ji; 05-16-2015 at 07:05 AM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 05-16-2015, 06:56 AM
 
Location: Grove City, Ohio
10,138 posts, read 12,398,078 times
Reputation: 13986
Quote:
Originally Posted by NewToCA View Post
Me, waiting for my wife to get out of Macy's. Generally I fall asleep in the mall waiting for her to get done!!!
For my wife it's waiting at her favorite store Hobby Lobby.

Luckily for me the local Hobby Lobby recently installed a "man bench" where the husbands have a place to sit while their wives go up and down the aisles looking at God knows what but, since I can now sit, it doesn't bother me. I know it's usually under 30 minutes but it always seems like hours and hours and hours.

But I don't complain because what would I do without her?

As I grow older I realize that women are the stronger sex because what I would do without her in my life is beyond my comprehension and it is the little things, like going to Hobby Lobby, that bring me my greatest enjoyment. But I would never tell anyone that.

Oh, and I drive her crazy. She's in to knitting and crochet big time so just to drive her nuts I will sometimes strike up a conversation with a sales person discussing the size of knitting needles and what is best to use on a certain yarn. Of course she knows I have no clue, no clue whatsoever, what I am talking about (I know knitting needles come in size 1 through whatever maybe 8, and it drives her nuts just to listen to my banter.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-16-2015, 09:02 AM
 
Location: Western Colorado
11,102 posts, read 12,488,322 times
Reputation: 26202
I'm 63 1/2 and retired. You'll see me happy at a lake fishing usually. Unless it's winter, then you'll see me snow shoeing or chopping and splitting firewood. Anyway the nearest mall to me is 100 miles away, too far to drive to sit all day.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-16-2015, 09:27 AM
 
2,014 posts, read 1,255,511 times
Reputation: 1921
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dingler View Post
I went through a period of unemployment recently and spent some time at the big shopping mall near my home. It was a eye opening experience. Every time I went to the mall there were a large number of old men sitting there staring into space. They looked so bored and lonely. I tried to picture them as younger men who were working in great jobs and surrounded by tons of friends. That seems so long ago.

Do you know anyone who is lonely and bored sitting at the mall while retired?
They were just checking out the girls while pretending they weren't. Wishing they were X years younger.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-16-2015, 12:13 PM
 
Location: Colorado Springs
4,851 posts, read 4,967,060 times
Reputation: 17348
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wanderer0101 View Post
They were just checking out the girls while pretending they weren't. Wishing they were X years younger.
This^^^^^^

We men are simple creatures. Young girls are flowers in bloom. Nice to look at.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-16-2015, 01:00 PM
 
Location: SW MO
23,605 posts, read 31,506,246 times
Reputation: 29081
My wife and I both dislike shopping so we usually do it together, her mobility permitting, to get it done and over with more quickly. There's an outlets mall at the closest small city to us. The city attracts a lot of tourists during "the season" and appeals to geezers. As a result, the mall has many "hubby" benches and on any given day they're almost always full. The oldsters sit there spinning yarns and telling lies while their wives are busy spending money.

If I ever succumb to that, please just shoot me!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-16-2015, 03:07 PM
 
Location: Cochise county, AZ
4,981 posts, read 3,468,620 times
Reputation: 10513
Curmudgeon, you alwaysmake me laugh. As for me, due to a back injury, I was the one on the bench waiting for my sister to finish shopping. I would normally strike up a conversation with those on the bench and, yup, most had some disability which prevented them from walking with their wives or husbands and yes, thet were bored, as wasI. I always wished I'd remembered to bring a book.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-16-2015, 03:08 PM
 
Location: P.C.F
1,973 posts, read 1,645,610 times
Reputation: 1607
Most are waiting on their wives Inside they are laughing about spending the kids INHERITANCE
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dingler View Post
I went through a period of unemployment recently and spent some time at the big shopping mall near my home. It was a eye opening experience. Every time I went to the mall there were a large number of old men sitting there staring into space. They looked so bored and lonely. I tried to picture them as younger men who were working in great jobs and surrounded by tons of friends. That seems so long ago.

Do you know anyone who is lonely and bored sitting at the mall while retired?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-16-2015, 03:11 PM
 
Location: P.C.F
1,973 posts, read 1,645,610 times
Reputation: 1607
Besides we are spending every dime of our kids inheritence money..
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vision67 View Post
This^^^^^^

We men are simple creatures. Young girls are flowers in bloom. Nice to look at.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-16-2015, 05:04 PM
 
Location: Central NY
4,684 posts, read 3,254,622 times
Reputation: 12002
Default Hello.

Quote:
Originally Posted by nicet4 View Post
For my wife it's waiting at her favorite store Hobby Lobby.

Luckily for me the local Hobby Lobby recently installed a "man bench" where the husbands have a place to sit while their wives go up and down the aisles looking at God knows what but, since I can now sit, it doesn't bother me. I know it's usually under 30 minutes but it always seems like hours and hours and hours.

"But I don't complain because what would I do without her?"

As I grow older I realize that women are the stronger sex because what I would do without her in my life is beyond my comprehension and it is the little things, like going to Hobby Lobby, that bring me my greatest enjoyment. But I would never tell anyone that.

Oh, and I drive her crazy. She's in to knitting and crochet big time so just to drive her nuts I will sometimes strike up a conversation with a sales person discussing the size of knitting needles and what is best to use on a certain yarn. Of course she knows I have no clue, no clue whatsoever, what I am talking about (I know knitting needles come in size 1 through whatever maybe 8, and it drives her nuts just to listen to my banter.

niceT4: You brought tears to my eyes. What a beautiful sentiment. I have not had the pleasure of meeting a man who felt that way. Sounds like you and your wife are very good together.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top