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Old 06-14-2007, 04:49 PM
 
Location: VA
786 posts, read 4,719,880 times
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I went through a period of unemployment recently and spent some time at the big shopping mall near my home. It was a eye opening experience. Every time I went to the mall there were a large number of old men sitting there staring into space. They looked so bored and lonely. I tried to picture them as younger men who were working in great jobs and surrounded by tons of friends. That seems so long ago.

Do you know anyone who is lonely and bored sitting at the mall while retired?
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Old 06-14-2007, 04:52 PM
 
Location: Sacramento
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Me, waiting for my wife to get out of Macy's. Generally I fall asleep in the mall waiting for her to get done!!!
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Old 06-14-2007, 04:53 PM
 
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That is hilarious. I'm always waiting on my mother, sister and niece!
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Old 06-14-2007, 05:05 PM
 
Location: Sacramento
14,044 posts, read 27,103,957 times
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Thanks!

I appreciate Dingler's sensitivity in trying to understand how folks evolve into their present state. However, the reality of their situation is usually quite different than one may perceive. I won't even get into what it was like when we visited the Mall of America a few years ago...thought I was gonna die.
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Old 06-15-2007, 06:11 AM
 
Location: VA
786 posts, read 4,719,880 times
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These men were not waiting for relatives to finish shopping. They were all my themselves just killing time.

I believe that many people who are retired are not suited for not working and tend to withdraw and are not interested in organized activites. My Dad was like that. He would not get involved in organized activites at the senior center and spent all his time sitting around feeling sorry for himself.

Is this retirement for many people?

Last edited by Dingler; 06-15-2007 at 07:26 AM..
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Old 06-15-2007, 06:53 AM
 
4,096 posts, read 11,418,829 times
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yes it could be. If you dont develop some interest(s) in life to carry into retirement or do not "get out of yourself", it can be very dull and boring.

I am worried about my husband in this regard. He needs to find a passion that is different from work. He finds great enjoyment being at work and loves the people he works with. But this wont last long into retirement when they are busy with their lives and he has hours to spend.

I on the other hand have too many ideas. I am going to volunteer for mornings at a local spay neuter clinic and for several organizations that I feel are important. I have hobbies to work on and enjoy both for personal goals and charity work.

I think there will still be not enough hours in the day to do what I want.
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Old 06-15-2007, 09:25 AM
 
Location: Indianapolis Indiana
1,242 posts, read 3,742,825 times
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That pained lonely look on my face when I sit on the bench at the mall really translates to "get me the heck outta here" while I am waiting for my beloved wife.
Retirement is what you make of it. For me it was just like sex. I knew right away that I was going to like it!
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Old 06-15-2007, 11:13 AM
 
Location: Londonderry, NH
41,478 posts, read 59,526,017 times
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A major problem for this scoiety is the legions of devastated, greiving and bored widows walking the malls.
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Old 06-15-2007, 12:59 PM
 
Location: Camano Island, WA
1,913 posts, read 8,889,399 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dingler View Post
I went through a period of unemployment recently and spent some time at the big shopping mall near my home. It was a eye opening experience. Every time I went to the mall there were a large number of old men sitting there staring into space. They looked so bored and lonely. I tried to picture them as younger men who were working in great jobs and surrounded by tons of friends. That seems so long ago.

Do you know anyone who is lonely and bored sitting at the mall while retired?

When I think back I would have to say my Dad. He worked for NASA. And he was there for 40 yrs. I honestly don't think my Dad had a game plan for what life was going to be like after he retired. He was not one of the 'mall walkers'...but he did sleep a lot at home after retirement. Which now when I look back I have to say that my Dad was depressed. He was very stoic so he would never admit to that fact.

I mean when you think about it...that was where he spent a large portion of his life on a daily basis for 40 years. It's all he knew. He had many friends/co-workers that he would no longer see on that daily basis.
He was also my Mother's care giver during that same time period.

I recall that he did try to work at a local golf course after retiring...he loved golf...but he didn't stay there too long. My Dad was an Engineer and constantly busy at his work. Golf was just too slow pace for him.

The other thing is just after he retired he developed a host of health problems. He passed away only three years after he retired.

So I can almost understand seeing the poor souls sitting on benches at the mall. I bet a majority of them are widows and maybe don't have much family.

If I would have known then what I know now... I would have tried to help my Dad....
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Old 06-15-2007, 04:58 PM
 
16,087 posts, read 41,000,832 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GregW View Post
A major problem for this scoiety is the legions of devastated, greiving and bored widows walking the malls.
Greg - another good one.

My late Daddy used to say "there they are spending their dead husband's money"...
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