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I reread your post. You know, people are so self-centered that they can't often see beyond their own noses.
If I were you I wouldn't retire close to family and expect them to embrace you or help you in any way. But, that's based on my experiences.
I moved to the Seattle area and hoped to connect with my cousin's family there. (He had died earlier.) I was invited to his daughter's for xmas dinner but it was my cousin's wife who came and got me and drove me there. The daughter and husband couldn't be bothered.
After a while I asked the daughter if she would be my emergency contact. I have no one to list whenver asked. She said no. She said it was too much responsibility but she still considered me family! HA!
I wasn't asking anything of her except that if I dropped dead somewhere the police could call her and she could tell them where I lived. I have a will that takes care of the rest.
My cousin's wife died too and I haven't seen the daughter since. She's cold, self centered and married to a much older guy who was a mama's boy.
I live somewhere else now. For me, I have had to forget about "family". For me, it's a four letter word.
So I just caution you to not expect too much - or anything at all. You might want to talk to them about it all. You'll know right away if they have kind hearts or not.
Yes, I totally agree with your post. I know in my case, I can't expect any of my relatives (I have stopped referring to them as family) to help me out, nor do I think I would want them to, based on how they handled my father's care. That was a lesson for me.
I have my two seniors 300 miles away (aunt, 85, poor health, father, 85, great health). When they are gone, I will consider myself without family. I have relatives 300 miles away who I've never known, and one sister in that area who I stopped speaking to five years ago and it was a great relief (as it was when my mother died back then).
Family is a genetic blind date.
[quote=brightdoglover;15814452]I have my two seniors 300 miles away (aunt, 85, poor health, father, 85, great health). When they are gone, I will consider myself without family. I have relatives 300 miles away who I've never known, and one sister in that area who I stopped speaking to five years ago and it was a great relief (as it was when my mother died back then).
Family is a genetic blind date.[/
Thats a good way to put it. " Family is a genetic blind date". Makes sense.
I have my two seniors 300 miles away (aunt, 85, poor health, father, 85, great health). When they are gone, I will consider myself without family. I have relatives 300 miles away who I've never known, and one sister in that area who I stopped speaking to five years ago and it was a great relief (as it was when my mother died back then).
Family is a genetic blind date.
Perhaps all the more reason to (1) stay where you are, for the familiarity and stability you now have or (2) relocate now to the place you most want to be so you have enough active years to form new close relationships.
How's that for helpful advice??
There are many in the same situation. You sound independent and will do fine, whatever choice you make.
We will be retiring June 2011, presently live in Ohio, where all our families live, but we are moving to Centennial Hills, Nevada. When you are 62 years old, you are on the down swing of your life cycle, kids grown and on their own. So now its our turn to enjoy the rest of our lives, we'll visit once a year, and our doors will be open for family, if they get on an airplane, that's a big if! Can't wait till 2011. Looking forward to Retirement
I have my two seniors 300 miles away (aunt, 85, poor health, father, 85, great health). When they are gone, I will consider myself without family. I have relatives 300 miles away who I've never known, and one sister in that area who I stopped speaking to five years ago and it was a great relief (as it was when my mother died back then). Family is a genetic blind date.
lol
someone should make a t-shirt on this and sell it for family reunions and holiday get-togethers....
So, folks, anything changed for any of you in the last two years? In reading through the thread and looking at one of my remarks two years ago, it occurred to me that I left one major consideration about when people are contemplating moving close to where the children and grandchildren are. We live in a small community in which there are a number of retirees. Many of them initially moved to be close to where family was only to experience family moving somewhere else. A year or two later. Society seems to become increasingly mobile, especially as many jobs have become that way as well. Consequently, I question the wisdom of making a major move, selling one home and buying another, ending up someplace you've not been before or not lived before, only to be stuck there when your reasons for moving in the first place have packed up and gone elsewhere. For many, that major move in retirement was the last one that was actually affordable. Picking up and going elsewhere for them would be a hardship.
In our case, some of you may remember my thread regarding the retirement nightmare. You may also recall that step daughter was invited to leave after five weeks due to her spiteful, ugly behavior. She settled somewhere close by but several weeks ago, packed up and moved back to California. So now we're back to both of my wife's daughters, all three of my daughters, six grandchildren and a recent great-grandchild all living in close proximity to one another. For both of us, that would be the last place we would want to return to. My two sons and their families live close to one another in Ohio. However, that is not a place we'd wish to live either. So for us, it sounds like we're going to stick it out where we are in a home we enjoy and an area we find inspiring and peaceful. We are so glad our initial retirement move worked out for us. For those of you who also moved in retirement, how has that turned out for you?
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I feel for you
