RI Attitude (to buy, pharmacist, live)

[Rud Island]

Originally Posted by ricitykid

Oh, wow. I can see someone's clearly upset by this. Not all Rhode Islanders. I've met some nice, warm, hospitable Rhode Islanders in the five years I've lived here.

However, I've had so many negative experiences. At Daves, when I worked there, customers seemed to never say "Hi" or "thank you" or "Have a nice day".

I've never seen one of my neighbors outside their houses, or ever wave or ever talk to another fellow neighbor. I barely even know any of my neighbors. I honestly don't even know the name of the family that lives next to me.

I've done nothing to provoke these responses except by actually trying to be a nice person and trying to make conversation with some of these people. I'm a decent, clean, well-groomed, person. I'm not a hobo, or a crazed drug addict, or some scowling teenager dressed indecently with six piercings with a face pancaked with makeup.

In the past, whenever I smiled or said "hi" to a jogger or a walker, all I got in return was a frosty, chilly, glare.

I've actually given up on trying to wave or say hi to people. The effort was just too much and most of the time, people just never responded. The only time I'll say "hi" or wave to someone I don't know is they say "hi" first.

Again, another one missing the point...this is the culture that New Englander's prefer....this is not Texas or southern hospitality! This is RI and this is how we interact with each other! We do not put up a front to act nice or proper as many of the other regions of the country do. If we do not want to talk to you...you will get that "chilly glare." They were probably trying to figure out why? An unsolicited conversation is seen as an inconvenience or worse. Random, friendly hellos? We do not have time for that!

[personalensign79]

So true...I miss it.

[Rnrboy]

Originally Posted by Rud Island

You are missing the point traceyr13, those of us who have lived here a long time like those qualities about the Northeast (including RI). I have spent a lot of time in TX, Houston mostly, and the welcoming, friendly attitude you speak of was abundant, and to a New Englander, friggen annoying!!! Could not wait to get back to RI!

Not to mention disingenuous...

[personalensign79]

That's one thing I noticed..(while we are all making generalizations), lots of the so-called southern hospitality I've come across is disingenuous. I'd rather people just be themselves and not fake.

[sallydee101]

Being new to the area from the south I find if i talk, smile, say hi I get answers back.......I am a talker and talk to anyone so i have not really found it cold......
and met some wonder people.......some for friends, some just in passing.

My children ran into some interesting comments being the southern bells my girls are. We laughed......Like do they have cell phones in Tennessee? or the girls laugh that school friends dont even know what a red neck is because my gals.....sure are not anywhere near one.

[ABQConvict]

I'm from NY (capital of unfriendliness) and I now live in a "friendly" part of the country. What I have discovered is that 'friendly' does not equal 'nice'.

A lot of 'friendly' people don't like you. When you get to know them, this comes out.

A lot of 'rude' (abrupt) or reserved people are really nice. When you get to know them, this comes out.

ABQConvict

[Rnrboy]

Where do you live now ABQ?

[YAZ]

Originally Posted by Rnrboy

Where do you live now ABQ?

Judging by the screen moniker, the state penitentiary in New Mexico...

I'm kidding!

I've lived all over the country and found that there's nice folks everywhere.

Every place is different though. E.g., go to the grocery store in RI, and you're in & out rather quickly. Go to the grocery store in KY, it takes all morning cuz ya gotta stop and talk to EVERYONE. They want to know how your aunt is doing (that's "ant" in Kentucky) , if your car is finally fixed, and where you went to get that deer you shot processed.

Arizona is a 'lil in between those two examples.

Speaking in an extremely general tone, I think it takes a little longer in the northeast to make friends. It's just one of those things......

[scdreamer]

Why does being pleasant have to be a "front?" If I'm out walking somewhere, it honestly takes no effort whatsoever to acknowledge passersby who share my community (or planet, for that matter!). Why is a simple "good morning" assumed to be fake? Or to be somehow threatening?

Do you mean that you actually don't want other people to have a good morning?

RI is certainly not without disingenuous characters, after all. It doesn't make them any more noble that they have frown lines instead of laugh lines..

[ABQConvict]

Originally Posted by scdreamer

Why does being pleasant have to be a "front?"

It doesn't. Nor does rudeness, but both of them often are.

Since I have moved to Albuquerque I have become more visibly friendly. When I first came out here, a lot of people thought I was mean (or at least fulfilled the stereotype of gruff NYer much to their amusement). That didn't stop me from scooping up baby birds with injured wings or laying my coat across puddles for sandal-footed damsels, or stopping on the highway to help granny change her tire.

Now I work in a customer service context and have a total and deep understanding of 'fake' friendliness. I am 'fake' friendly all the time. It is exhausting. A little meanness keeps the riff-raff out :-)


ABQConvict