Dating in Rhode Island (Providence: 2009, unemployed, colleges)

[vermonter41]

Hi all,

I was wondering if you could give me some advice. What is the dating scene like in Rhode Island and Providence in particular? Do you have much interracial dating there and is it frowned upon or no big deal?

I am black and I tend to like Latino men, but I don't exclude anyone who is a nice person regardless of what race they are.

Thanks to all who repsond!

[POhdNcrzy]

Well I'm not quite the Casanova you might need to answer your question properly, but I doubt the dating in RI is very much different from anywhere else in the US.

As for the interracial thing, no one anywhere close to or in Providence would even notice. Elsewhere people might give you a second glance, but they wouldn't say anything bad or treat you like a second class citizen, etc.

[AandD]

I hear tell from my single girlfriends that the dating scene sucks. I'm not in the market myself, and only moved here from Texas at the beginning of the year, so I don't have any personal experience. However I have noticed, anecdotally, that rather average looking men end up with fairly hot girls. I'm told this is due to a dire shortage of successful, eligible men. However, I'm told this phenomenon exists across the northeast. (Not so in the South, lemme tell ya...)

Speaking from the point of eye-candy (in which I do have first person experience), I can assure you that much of the caucasion/latino male population here is at most so-so. Although, oddly, there seems to be a significant number of police officers in Providence and south-east Massachusetts that are hot enough to make a girl say 'dayum!'.

[vermonter41]

Thanks so much for the info!

[lrfox]

Originally Posted by AandD

I hear tell from my single girlfriends that the dating scene sucks. I'm not in the market myself, and only moved here from Texas at the beginning of the year, so I don't have any personal experience. However I have noticed, anecdotally, that rather average looking men end up with fairly hot girls. I'm told this is due to a dire shortage of successful, eligible men. However, I'm told this phenomenon exists across the northeast. (Not so in the South, lemme tell ya...)

Speaking from the point of eye-candy (in which I do have first person experience), I can assure you that much of the caucasion/latino male population here is at most so-so. Although, oddly, there seems to be a significant number of police officers in Providence and south-east Massachusetts that are hot enough to make a girl say 'dayum!'.

Hahaha. Awesome post.

From a male perspective, the dating scene is difficult at best.

While you won't find people who have issues with interracial dating, you'll likely face other problems.

One of the biggest issues is that New England can be pretty provincial and Rhode Island in particular has a serious reputation for this. This not only makes dating difficult, but making friends in general difficult. It's hard to crack social circles. If you date outside your "circle" it can often times be frowned upon (I know MANY who have lost friends over this) and if you're looking to crack someone else's circle (i.e. make friend's with your boyfriend's friends), well, good luck.

Then there's the issue of finding the right person. Providence has an intersting blend of college students, retirees, uneducated/skilled workers, unemployed, and a pocket of professionals (many of whom have longstanding ties to the area and existing social circles). It's not really a very transient place (aside from college students and grads... many of whom aren't interested in dating more than casually) and as such, the dating scene can become, well, stagnant. When I'm single, I tend to meet most girls through friends. In fact, I've never had a relationship with someone I meet at a bar or evening out last longer than... well... breakfast time the next day (if I'm "lucky"), and that's not because I say I'm "going to call" and never do. It's usually because that's the way they want to keep it as well. I know I'm not alone in that. Trying to approach the dating scene head on (without the help of E-dating) is hard to do. The bar/clubs scene (which really is fun in Providence) is for hook-ups and friends nights out really and not so much for finding potential partners. I know many relatively attractive people who have been given a hard time for trying to get/give a number or set up a future meet-up. New England in general is not the best place for meeting new people. New Englanders are generally tough nuts to crack and Providence is no different (though it's better than cities like, say, Portland ME, Manchester, Fall River/NB, Springfield, Lowell, etc).

I love Providence for a number of reasons. It's wonderfully sophisticated for a small city and it has a lot of charm. However, it's not a place that I would choose to be single. If you want a good dating pool in New England, then Boston is really the best (probably only) bet. Otherwise I would suggest looking elsewhere.

[1979]

Originally Posted by AandD

I hear tell from my single girlfriends that the dating scene sucks. I'm not in the market myself, and only moved here from Texas at the beginning of the year, so I don't have any personal experience. However I have noticed, anecdotally, that rather average looking men end up with fairly hot girls. I'm told this is due to a dire shortage of successful, eligible men. However, I'm told this phenomenon exists across the northeast. (Not so in the South, lemme tell ya...)

Speaking from the point of eye-candy (in which I do have first person experience), I can assure you that much of the caucasion/latino male population here is at most so-so. Although, oddly, there seems to be a significant number of police officers in Providence and south-east Massachusetts that are hot enough to make a girl say 'dayum!'.

I think this poster is very picky, and truthfully, I've seen many hot guys with average, to so so (..um fat) girls. And when you consider the huge number of overweight women in the northeast that straight guys must contend with, they don't always have much of a choice, and unless they would rather go without, or wait till something better comes along. There are plenty of hot guys, and there are also a lot of gyms here that are full of guys with nice bodies. If you are attractive, with a nice personality, positive without an attitude, you'll have no trouble. We also have a lot of colleges, so if you're in your 20's or early 30's there's plenty to choose from.

[lrfox]

^Overweight in the Northeast? Where does that come from? I'll agree that my observations have been mixed about relative attractiveness of men v. women in couples (it tends to vary with income from what I've seen... ugly rich guy with hot wife and attractive blue-collar guy with pig/trash for girlfriend), but I think New England (particularly Southern New England) does well in terms of lack of obesity in both sexes.

New England has 3 states (Massachusetts, Rhode Island, and Connecticut) in the top 5 LEAST obese states in the nation category while it has NONE in the top five MOST obese (they're mostly in the South).

This data is for 2009 and is according to the Trust for America's Health and the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation. You can read the whole article here.

[terrasurf]

Um, personally I think this poster is soliciting for something no longer available on CL.

[AandD]

Originally Posted by 1979

I think this poster is very picky, and truthfully, I've seen many hot guys with average, to so so (..um fat) girls. And when you consider the huge number of overweight women in the northeast that straight guys must contend with, they don't always have much of a choice, and unless they would rather go without, or wait till something better comes along. There are plenty of hot guys, and there are also a lot of gyms here that are full of guys with nice bodies. If you are attractive, with a nice personality, positive without an attitude, you'll have no trouble. We also have a lot of colleges, so if you're in your 20's or early 30's there's plenty to choose from.

I will admit to being a visual person. I work with 1000 people at a hospital, and there are 4 men I find reasonably attractive. Lots of attractive women, though. I'm also speaking to the mid/late 20's thru late 30's range.

The NE is the healthiest area of the US from all reports I've seen, but I'd welcome any evidence you have to the contrary.

Men in gyms, ESPECIALLY the men that look like they spend a lot of time in the gym, are rarely there to pick up chicks, and in my experience value their workouts too much to interrupt others. (I have competed in figure competitions, so I spent A LOT of time in the gym). Many male gym-goers actually find it rather gauche to hit on women in the gym.