Roanoke 4th most "Bible minded" City in the U.S.??? (Lynchburg: home, neighborhood)

[disastermouse]

I got 'the talk', again, Monday night at work. I was asked why I'm leaving Roanoke and I mentioned the fact, among other things, that my girlfriend and I aren't Christian. I got the typical 'to each their own' and then an extended Christ-o-plaination about how much happier if be if I just accepted Jesus as my savior. At work. Again.

All I said was that I wasn't Christian. That's all it took.

[sregorat3]

Originally Posted by disastermouse

I got 'the talk', again, Monday night at work. I was asked why I'm leaving Roanoke and I mentioned the fact, among other things, that my girlfriend and I aren't Christian. I got the typical 'to each their own' and then an extended Christ-o-plaination about how much happier if be if I just accepted Jesus as my savior. At work. Again.

All I said was that I wasn't Christian. That's all it took.

So, you opened that can of worms? I've never heard the "I'm not a Christian" excuse for moving before.

[disastermouse]

Originally Posted by sregorat3

So, you opened that can of worms? I've never heard the "I'm not a Christian" excuse for moving before.

Blame the victim? I shouldn't have been dressed that way, right?

When you ask a question, you get the answer. That answer ISN'T a can of worms in a lot of places. Most times people simply state "Oh, I am a Christian." And I say, "Cool." And that's it.

Not being Christian IS a major reason I'm moving away from Roanoke - because there's not much of a thriving Buddhist community here.

"I'm not a Christian" is not an invitation to proselytize at work. It's not an admission that something is wrong with me or that I need something. I didn't say "I hate Christians", I simply said, "I'm not Christian." Full stop.

[sregorat3]

Originally Posted by disastermouse

Blame the victim? I shouldn't have been dressed that way, right?

When you ask a question, you get the answer. That answer ISN'T a can of worms in a lot of places. Most times people simply state "Oh, I am a Christian." And I say, "Cool." And that's it.

Not being Christian IS a major reason I'm moving away from Roanoke - because there's not much of a thriving Buddhist community here.

"I'm not a Christian" is not an invitation to proselytize at work. It's not an admission that something is wrong with me or that I need something. I didn't say "I hate Christians", I simply said, "I'm not Christian." Full stop.

Victim? Because you feel the need to express that you are not a Christian? I doubt if I will ever feel the need to pronounce my beliefs in the workplace. I actually work at one of those bastions of liberalism, the four-year liberal arts college, and I've never been queried as to my beliefs and I've never asked anyone, either. Likewise, I've never had someone state their beliefs as a reason to leave, stay, etc. Now if you were working for a Christian church, I could see that as a reason for leaving, but an entire city? By the way... I live in Lynchburg, and it is pretty conservative!

[disastermouse]

Originally Posted by sregorat3

Victim? Because you feel the need to express that you are not a Christian? I doubt if I will ever feel the need to pronounce my beliefs in the workplace. I actually work at one of those bastions of liberalism, the four-year liberal arts college, and I've never been queried as to my beliefs and I've never asked anyone, either. Likewise, I've never had someone state their beliefs as a reason to leave, stay, etc. Now if you were working for a Christian church, I could see that as a reason for leaving, but an entire city? By the way... I live in Lynchburg, and it is pretty conservative!

Not being Christian IS a reason to leave Roanoke. There's no reason it should be avoided if it's a primary answer to the question, "Why are you leaving Roanoke?" The point is that it shouldn't be assumed that if you mention not being Christian the other person has a license to start giving you 'the talk'. It's an answer to a question, not an invitation to proselytize. Part of the reason it comes up in the first place is that people assume here that you must be Christian, and if you're white, you must be conservative.

I want to live in a place where I'm not expected to hide the fact that I'm liberal and not Christian. I don't think that's unreasonable.

[NomadStephanie]

sregorat, your belief that an appropriate response to a statement made about religious identity is an attempt at conversion is a reflection of how inured you are to the thinking that dominates this area. There are places where you can say that you are not a Christian, and whether the hearer is Christian or not, it's not going to provoke an attempt at conversion, or much of a response at all, really. In other places, people are used to living in a more diverse society where people believe different things. Here, people assume you're Christian and go on the offensive if they find out otherwise.

I personally am drawn to religions and respect people who live up to high moral standards and who express insight about the human condition, whatever their faith. I'm far from an "angry atheist." I'm a Buddhist who enjoys interfaith discussion. The problem is, it's darn near impossible somewhere like here. You might (or might not) be curious about someone else's beliefs or perspectives, but they're not curious about yours, beyond their interest in trying to convert you.

It's tiresome when you have to either practice being coy to avoid this or deal with the fact that most conversations about this topic play out the same exact way. It's not exactly unusual that a lot of people find themselves moving to larger and/or more open-minded cities to escape this kind of small-town small-mindedness. Though living in the New York metro area ultimately didn't work out for me for other reasons, it was a profound breath of fresh air, and so liberating, to realize that I was no longer an exception to a largely ideologically homogenous population, that I could be myself and not have to hide traits I think of as neutral or benign as if they were sources of shame.

[Watchful]

Since I am a pastor in the 'Noke, I just thought I would toss this into the mix...

There are Christians who truly enjoy learning about other people's beliefs, and thrive on the kind of conversations NomadStephanie is talking about!

And then there are Christians who are pretty well entrenched in the mindset that there is only "one way of acceptable thinking" on any conceivable issue - and that it is our duty to rescue our neighbors and acquaintances from faulty thinking that endangers their eternal existence.

And yeah even Christian pastors can find that a bit "tiresome!"

[disastermouse]

Originally Posted by Watchful

Since I am a pastor in the 'Noke, I just thought I would toss this into the mix...

There are Christians who truly enjoy learning about other people's beliefs, and thrive on the kind of conversations NomadStephanie is talking about!

And then there are Christians who are pretty well entrenched in the mindset that there is only "one way of acceptable thinking" on any conceivable issue - and that it is our duty to rescue our neighbors and acquaintances from faulty thinking that endangers their eternal existence.

And yeah even Christian pastors can find that a bit "tiresome!"

I LOVE having religious conversations with people of other faiths and to be honest, I find that I actually have more in common with many of them than I do with people who don't even think the idea of religion or spirituality is important. We share many of the same concerns in an increasingly materialist and consumeristic society, most often.

That said, I'm not 'accidentally' not Christian. It's not as though I simply overlooked Christianity and all it takes is repeated proselytizing to make me reconsider my choice - just as I would imagine is true of most Christians. Which is why I never proselytize. I do understand that that's an easier choice for me than for Christians (and probably Muslims too), as there is practically no emphasis on conversion in Buddhism as practiced in the West.

[sregorat3]

Nomad.... I do not get what you are saying. Reread what I have said, as you have obviously misunderstood. No where have I promoted proselytiziing, Christianity, atheism, etc. I find it pretty sad that there are people who are unable to tolerate those who have different beliefs than themselves, so much so, that they will move. I do not feel sorry for someone who feels the need to express their differences blatantly, and then vacate the premises. To me it seems almost as intolerant as the pigheaded conservative who is right about everything. THAT being said, I have no knowledge of what you or disastermouse have experienced over the years and everyone is entitled to their own opinion. If you have to leave so that you will be comfortable in your own skin, then by all means, do it!
I love my new neighbor; she seems to be very anti "Bible thumper," yet she has already developed some great friendships here in Lynchburg, even with some of the typical Lynchburg/Falwell conservatives. to me, she is a great example on how one excercises tolerance.

Lastly, Watchful- what denomination holds that there are no absolutes (you know, on any conceivable issue) UU?

[springgrl]

Originally Posted by sregorat3

Lastly, Watchful- what denomination holds that there are no absolutes (you know, on any conceivable issue) UU?

Unitarian Universalism (UU) accepts multiple paths, if that's what you're meaning. Bahai (The Bahá) also speaks to that.

I'm going to tip in with something from a larger perspective: It's excellent that you can re-locate. Mobility of the population as it is now is pretty new. Places like Lynchburg and Roanoke, and many small towns in the throughout the U.S. and the rest of the WORLD were not destinations for people to move to until more recently. As a result, many people have not been exposed to other beliefs and upbringings. I think of the small town my parents lived in while working in Germany in the early 80s: they'd get scolded for sweeping the sidewalk on Sundays and everyone went to one of the village churches.

Several jobs in small towns involve working with people who have never left the area, have never had to accept new thoughts, and gain a sense of superiority through [sadly, because that's not what I think Christ is about] their church-going. Many people who move here and mainly hang out with their co-workers adopt that mind set, too. The quest to feel part of the whole and to have something that makes one feel superior is a popular Western goal.

So good for you in making the choice to do what's right for you.