Daughter wants support at age 19 (York, Florida: appointed, lawyers, house)

[Want2Know]

I have been paying my ex Child Support, medical, etc for the past 17 years. My daughter lived with her all these years. My ex recently passed away and I assume I am now primary or custodial parent. My 19 year old daughter wants to continue living in NY with her stepfather's house and wants me to pay her support.

I want her to move to Florida with me and she chooses to live in NY, but wants me to pay her support directly. I am opposed to this. We get along fine but as custodial or primary parent don't I have the right to say, "you can live with me or you are emancipated"?

I've never found NYS child support or family court in general to lend any credence to the non-custodial parent. In fact, they are horrible at it.

With the circumstances as they are now, am I not the deciding parent with some power to decide matters where my only child is concerned without NYS sticking it's nose into this matter?

[garmin239]

If she is over 18, why are you still required to pay?
I don't know many specifics but I can tell you that NYS is very unsympathetic to the fathers when it comes to these things.

[Want2Know]

Because she lived with her mother (recently deceased) and goes to college. My question concerns what legal stand do I have available to me as the sole parent for a 19 year old who wants to have her cake and eat it too. I have expressed my wishes that she move to Florida and she chooses not too and live with a stepfather and 1/2 sibblings. I do not want to be just a checkbook that NYS family court decides how I should and should not parent. Being the primary or custodial parent I should have some recourse for situations like this one.

[garmin239]

Since she is 19, I don't think they can force you to pay anything.

[MovesAlot]

I found this by google.....it is in MI, but maybe you could research NY as well?

Question

My friend is the non custodial parent of his 19 year old full time college student (19 hrs/wkly). He has been paying child support for a number of years for her. Her mother was her custodian and was receiving the child support before her death this past June. What steps have to be taken in order for the support to go directly to the child. The checks are accumulating at the place of residency of the child. Again, she is a 19 year old student and no one has been able to cash the checks since the death of the custodian parent. I have been all over the net to find something on this matter and all that come up is what would happen if it's the death of the non custodial parent. Answer

Normally, when a custodial parent passes away the support obligation ceases (in most cases the non custodial parent becomes the custodial parent when this happens). In cases where there is a guardian appointed, the support is normally redirected to that person. Is the support enforcement agency aware that the custodial parent is deceased? Normally (absent a court order to the contrary) we terminate the support obligation upon such a notification. We don't send checks to someone who we know is deceased. In Michigan, support is owed to the parent, not to the child. I suggest that your friend petition the court for an order terminating the support payments and then he/she can just give money to the daughter directly.




Child Support - What happens to child support when the custodial parent dies?

[Want2Know]

This is my issue. Now as her "primary" parent I want her to move to Florida and live with me. She does not want to. I do not want NYS (or any other for that matter) telling me at this point who and what i pay where my sole child is concerned. I will support her in my home in Florida, but I do not want to pay her directly like some allowance while she lives where she wants and just goes to school. Florida has degrees of study for which she goes to school. My gut feeling is if she doesn't want to move to Florida and live with me, then I should file to emancipate her.

[Cindy15161]

Originally Posted by garmin239

Since she is 19, I don't think they can force you to pay anything.

That is not true my father paid child support until we were 21. I don't know if it can go directly to the child though if parent had passed away.

[Want2Know]

NYS state law deems 21 as adult and allows direct parental support to the child if going to school.

I will support her as her parent BUT WITHOUT NYS telling me how. My daughter isn't going to need counseling to switch states and colleges, for god's sake most of them do it already and have for decades.

Again.... I need legal presidence for a parent. How would any parent feel if the state had more to say about your child's decisions than you as the parent did?

[Want2Know]

I going to be blunt. I initially sought legal presidence on a family court matter. There is no need to go into the past 17 years of history to answer my initial questions. I gave only the information necessary for a forumn seeking legal presidence for those with information, not opinion. I DON'T WANT YOUR OPINIONS!

Your not a psychologist nor was I seeking psychological responses. You are correct regarding money only to the degree that I am sick and tired of NYS presiding and frankly determining who does what and when they do it. It's obvious you've never been ham strung by 17 years of a system that goes over the top for custodial parents and has absolutely no venues for non-custodial.

So for 17 years I have abided by and kept my daughter segregated from the court matters (much unlike her mother if you want to know) and just gave as much as I could to my daughter as any parent would.

Don't you DARE even attempt to think you know me or my situation and that are in a position to lecture me on morals or any other topic. Frankly you're an idiot if you think court systems are in any position to determine whats best in Family Matters as history has shown.

Dead beat Dads (and Mom's) should be sought out and made to honor the commitments to their children but this isn't the situation.

You said, I offered an opinion. Well read closely I dont want your opinion I want legal statutes regarding these matters that I can use to protect my daughter and sometimes that requires drastic measures. If you don't understand this than please annoy someone else with your wisdom (for lack of a more accurate term).

[dura]

IANAL but IMO most, if not all, states view child support payments as payments for the child, regardless of who is actually receiving the money. Courts look at what is best for the child. While you are her only surviving biological parent, your daughter has lived in NY, and wants to continue living in NY. She has an established history in NY, and it is my opinion that no court is going to uproot her and force her to move to your state. There is a list of lawyers here that you could contact, but if I am correct, and I think I am, you might wind up spending more on attorney's fees, only to lose, than what is left on your remaining two years of support.

Originally Posted by http://www.court.state.nd.us/court/briefs/20040248.atb.htm

Although a custodial parent may have a representational right to collect support on behalf of the child, the right to support really belongs to the child. See Abrams v. Connolly, 781 P.2d 651, 658 (Colo. 1989); Conley v. Conley, 259 Ga. 68, 377 S.E.2D 663, 665 (1989); Alexander v. Alexander, 494 So.2d 365, 368 (Miss. 1986).

Originally Posted by http://caselaw.lp.findlaw.com/scripts/getcase.pl?navby=search&case=/data2/circs/10th/009031.html&friend=nytimes

Conversely, the obligation to pay child support does not terminate upon the death of the custodial parent. Abrams v. Connolly, 781 P.2d 651, 656-57 (Colo. 1989) (en banc).