Gay family w/ Asperger Syndrome son considering the Rochester area... (Webster: good schools, living in)

[tuckjamont]

Our family is considering relocating and after a good deal of research, we have come upon the Rochester as a potentially good area for us. Now I am trying to find out more and any help would be greatly appreciated!

Our main concerns are:

1. A gay-friendly climate. We currently live in the South and are really tired of "being careful" and would like to live in a place where we can be a normal part of the community.

2. Good services for high functioning adults with disabilities. We have a 16 year old son who will be graduating soon and will definitely need help with the transition to adulthood. We also want to find a place where it will be reasonably easy for him to network with other young adults with Asperger Syndrome.

3. Good schools. I don't know if we will move before our older son graduates, but we have a younger one who will need decent schools before long.

We don't need to be in the city and would actually really enjoy a small town, as long as it is close enough to visit for cultural events and such (within 30 miles or so).

Any input would be appreciated. Thanks!

[garmin239]

I'd go with the east side suburbs such as Penfield, Webster and Pittsford. I spent much of my childhood growing up on a street with a gay family with children and nobody seemed to care.

[skbs]

Originally Posted by garmin239

I'd go with the east side suburbs such as Penfield, Webster and Pittsford. I spent much of my childhood growing up on a street with a gay family with children and nobody seemed to care.

I gotta say out of those three I would say Pittsford... they have an amazing SPED Dept... and they seem to be a tad more liberal than the other two towns...they have become more "urban" in thier thinking than the small town dinamics of Penfield and Webster... living in Penfield... I think it is still a tad on the conservative side... I think Pittsford might be more open minded. Fairport would be a good pick as well...amazing Special Ed Dept..and very welcoming town. I would try the Villages of both of those towns.

[DebOller]

I think you have made a wise decision. My husband and I aren't gay but we are gay friendly. The gay community is much more widely accepted here.
First let you invite you to our church. We are a gay friendly Episcopalian church in downtown Rochester. We have a very diverse membership including gay families with young and grown children. Most of us drive in from the surburbs to attend. Link for our church St. Luke & St. Simon Cyrene (Two Saints): Welcome to Two Saints!
If you want to live in the city, the Park Ave. area is a very nice area that does have Gay families. Our pastor and his partner live there.

The suggestions that Garmin gave are good, too. I would also like to suggest Brighton. It's a lovely area and there is a Asperger Syndrome support group that meets there.. In case you didn't know, you can get from one side of Rochester to the other 30 minutes so no place in the metroplex is to far from that group. For more info call Beth Grier-Leva, Continuing Developmental Services, Inc. at 585-288-4150

Here is a lisiting of groups available to gays in our area. I thought it might help, too.
DIRECTORY: Gay Rochester - News & Opinion - Rochester City Newspaper

[tuckjamont]

Thank you for your replies. I willl definitely look into these areas more. Also, the link to the Rochester LGBT resource list was mind-blowing!

Rochester looks better and better.

[momix5]

I really think that the gay community is more accpted in the North than the South. I am not gay but have friends that are and they say they are downright scared in the south.

[notasmoker]

Originally Posted by momix5

I really think that the gay community is more accpted in the North than the South. I am not gay but have friends that are and they say they are downright scared in the south.

I hope & pray that it is just a matter of time before gay marriage is legalized in NY state because that would mean civil rights for all. We are moving in that direction & we need to continue to take the lead in tolerance and progressive thinking.

[TANaples]

Originally Posted by momix5

I really think that the gay community is more accpted in the North than the South. I am not gay but have friends that are and they say they are downright scared in the south.

who still lives in NY. Very recently she was going through a bad time her life and wanted to move to be near us in Florida. I told her to stay in NY that she was so much better off there than here. Yes, being gay was one of those reasons.

I worked this past summer with a woman, who was a native Floridian, and also gay. When she found out that my daughter (same age as she) was gay, we did a lot of talking about it. She was very surprised at how accepting I was of my daughter. She was also very suprised when I told her how different it up north towards gay people. No, it is not perfect, but it is so much better than here. This young woman told me what she has gone through in her own life in Florida.

I think the major reason is that up north religion doesn't have a stronghold on people's attitudes like it does in the south. So much of that attitude is all Bible based. Well, you have so many non christian and non religious people up north that this isn't much of a factor.

This November Florida has that "traditional marriage" vote on the ballot to ban gay marriage in the state constitution. That will not only ban gay marriage, but also discriminate against all other couples, gay or not, from getting medical benefits, etc., etc., because they are not in a "traditional marriage". It's a license to discriminate all around. I only hope 60% of the people here have enough sense to realize how bad this law really is.

DOMA failed, I believe 4 or 5 times, to even get out of committee in NYS, let alone get on the ballot. I know there is a long way to go in NY before equal rights are attained, but at least the elected representatives has some sense.

In speaking with that young gay woman, you are probably better off somewhere up north than in the south. Yes, even Florida.

[notasmoker]

Originally Posted by TANaples

who still lives in NY. Very recently she was going through a bad time her life and wanted to move to be near us in Florida. I told her to stay in NY that she was so much better off there than here. Yes, being gay was one of those reasons.

I worked this past summer with a woman, who was a native Floridian, and also gay. When she found out that my daughter (same age as she) was gay, we did a lot of talking about it. She was very surprised at how accepting I was of my daughter. She was also very suprised when I told her how different it up north towards gay people. No, it is not perfect, but it is so much better than here. This young woman told me what she has gone through in her own life in Florida.

I think the major reason is that up north religion doesn't have a stronghold on people's attitudes like it does in the south. So much of that attitude is all Bible based. Well, you have so many non christian and non religious people up north that this isn't much of a factor.

This November Florida has that "traditional marriage" vote on the ballot to ban gay marriage in the state constitution. That will not only ban gay marriage, but also discriminate against all other couples, gay or not, from getting medical benefits, etc., etc., because they are not in a "traditional marriage". It's a license to discriminate all around. I only hope 60% of the people here have enough sense to realize how bad this law really is.

DOMA failed, I believe 4 or 5 times, to even get out of committee in NYS, let alone get on the ballot. I know there is a long way to go in NY before equal rights are attained, but at least the elected representatives has some sense.

In speaking with that young gay woman, you are probably better off somewhere up north than in the south. Yes, even Florida.

And electing another reactionary, fundamentalist politician on the national ticket will just make matters worse. NY state goes democratic, every time.

[TANaples]

Originally Posted by notasmoker

And electing another reactionary, fundamentalist politician on the national ticket will just make matters worse. NY state goes democratic, every time.

I don't post about this, but it is also another major reason why I don't like Florida.

Someday I will return to NY, but in the meantime there is one more vote against these fundies in Florida.