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Old 07-04-2009, 10:05 AM
 
355 posts, read 2,252,993 times
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I've been reading posts on this forum regarding people in Rochester vs. people in other places, and a common statement that is made is that "people in Rochester are friendly". From WaveRok's comparison between Rochester and the South (http://www.city-data.com/forum/7546419-post45.html), to TedH71's account of when he tried to talk to a girl at the bus stop (http://www.city-data.com/forum/9225736-post9.html), different posters see "being friendly" different.

Since there are so many definitions of "friendliness", can you think of any behaviors, i.e. things that you can see, observe, that would indicate that people in Rochester are friendly?

For example, I go to Wegman's, and the check out person asks "Did you find everything you needed?". But I would call that being well trained in customer service, not necessarily being friendly. And it's true that people let you merge the traffic instead of blocking the way for you, but I call that being civil ("do unto others as...").

Also, when I think of "being friendly", I think of people you don't know, who have no relationship to you, who are under no contractual obligation to be friendly to you.

So, what experiences do you have as you are in the city, suburbs, etc., that tell you people here, in general, are friendly? I'd be interested in reading the responses.
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Old 07-04-2009, 10:39 AM
 
Location: Long Island,New York
8,162 posts, read 13,761,662 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rgpg_99 View Post
I've been reading posts on this forum regarding people in Rochester vs. people in other places, and a common statement that is made is that "people in Rochester are friendly". From WaveRok's comparison between Rochester and the South (http://www.city-data.com/forum/7546419-post45.html), to TedH71's account of when he tried to talk to a girl at the bus stop (http://www.city-data.com/forum/9225736-post9.html), different posters see "being friendly" different.

Since there are so many definitions of "friendliness", can you think of any behaviors, i.e. things that you can see, observe, that would indicate that people in Rochester are friendly?

For example, I go to Wegman's, and the check out person asks "Did you find everything you needed?". But I would call that being well trained in customer service, not necessarily being friendly. And it's true that people let you merge the traffic instead of blocking the way for you, but I call that being civil ("do unto others as...").

Also, when I think of "being friendly", I think of people you don't know, who have no relationship to you, who are under no contractual obligation to be friendly to you.

So, what experiences do you have as you are in the city, suburbs, etc., that tell you people here, in general, are friendly? I'd be interested in reading the responses.
Here's the thing,I recently came here from long island and lived in New York City before that.I was in the air force for 7 years so i've been all over.Being trained well in customer service is one thing but people are noticeably more SINCERE around here.NYC is more cutthroat and long island has been becoming more like that too.The south and midwest in many parts don't like outsiders and are not as inclined to adapt whereas in Rochester(city) and the local suburbs people are sincere and that creates a great foundation to build on.
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Old 07-04-2009, 03:31 PM
 
Location: Rochester,New York
49 posts, read 99,435 times
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Depends on what kind of day they are having or what area your in I notice alot more attitude in the city with an I don't care mentality.I have neighbors who help me out and some that won't even talk so it just depends on the person. but they are in no way overly nice here.
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Old 07-04-2009, 03:50 PM
 
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This is my first post and I subcribed just to answer this as it is very close to my heart. I have lived in 3 continents and in several states in the US. I think that most people will tell you that Rochester is friendly are the ones that live in the north. Yes, Rochester is a friendly area in the sense that people are nice, they will talk to you, but there's nothing else. People here are not looking for friendship as a lot of them have family in the area. They also have lived here since little so they already have all the friends they want. In the south though since people are transplant(especially in the big cities) people are more friendly and looking to make friends. So if you compare Rochester to NYC well of course Rochester is friendlier, but if you compare it to Dallas the answer is no. I have not had any problems with people(adults) here, but lots of problems with the kids(stealing, bullying, rude). I have talked to several people who are not from here and they have the same answer as I do.

Last edited by InNYfornow; 07-04-2009 at 03:59 PM..
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Old 07-05-2009, 07:53 PM
 
355 posts, read 2,252,993 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rgpg_99 View Post
Since there are so many definitions of "friendliness", can you think of any behaviors, i.e. things that you can see, observe, that would indicate that people in Rochester are friendly?

Speaking of definitions of "friendliness", here is an interesting post making the distinction between "friendly" and "polite" (which I guess is in line with my previous distinction of "friendly" vs. "civil").

http://www.city-data.com/forum/5216026-post19.html

As I'm looking into Canada as my next destination, this post caught my eye.
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Old 07-05-2009, 08:09 PM
 
3,234 posts, read 7,959,730 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by InNYfornow View Post
People here are not looking for friendship as a lot of them have family in the area. They also have lived here since little so they already have all the friends they want. In the south though since people are transplant(especially in the big cities) people are more friendly and looking to make friends. So if you compare Rochester to NYC well of course Rochester is friendlier, but if you compare it to Dallas the answer is no. I have not had any problems with people(adults) here, but lots of problems with the kids(stealing, bullying, rude). I have talked to several people who are not from here and they have the same answer as I do.
speak for yourself as you do not represent all transplants. About half of my core group of friends are from other areas of the country. I grew up in the area and am still making new friends. My friends that grew up in the area are the same way, always welcoming new friends.
Yes, there are groups of people that don't befriend outsiders, but no more than any other part of the country.
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Old 07-05-2009, 09:51 PM
 
Location: Rochester, NY
1,293 posts, read 4,524,664 times
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I would say no more than anywhere else. Depends on the setting, more on the area you live in. Some people would find it awkward in a mall or on the street, but in a waiting room you may be able to engage in casual conversation.

I base this on living in the Buffalo, Raleigh and Rochester metro area. I travel alot and have spent significant time in Cleveland, Boston, Greensboro and various small towns in PA, SC, NC, OH and NY. Its all relative, one person can set you off, one person can make you feel right at home.
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Old 07-06-2009, 11:40 AM
 
Location: Mid-Atlantic
1,820 posts, read 4,161,989 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by InNYfornow View Post
This is my first post and I subcribed just to answer this as it is very close to my heart. I have lived in 3 continents and in several states in the US. I think that most people will tell you that Rochester is friendly are the ones that live in the north. Yes, Rochester is a friendly area in the sense that people are nice, they will talk to you, but there's nothing else. People here are not looking for friendship as a lot of them have family in the area. They also have lived here since little so they already have all the friends they want. In the south though since people are transplant(especially in the big cities) people are more friendly and looking to make friends. So if you compare Rochester to NYC well of course Rochester is friendlier, but if you compare it to Dallas the answer is no. I have not had any problems with people(adults) here, but lots of problems with the kids(stealing, bullying, rude). I have talked to several people who are not from here and they have the same answer as I do.

As a person who was born & raised in Rochester and moved away after getting married due to job relos, I often wonder what "outsiders" think of the Rochester people.
We have not lived in Rochester for 13 years now and have lived all over the mid-Atlantic region since then. Including; Jersey,SE PA,Western & Eastern Shore of MD.
Our experiences have been that the locals in ALL of these areas except Jersey (which is full of transient families) are not open to outsiders.
The majority of people that we have met and become friends with are not from the area. We have just recently relocated again to SE PA and have found that although our new neighbors are friendly,they will say "hi",they have no intention of being your friend. The people not from the area however, are so outgoing and welcoming,they come over and talk,etc...

I always wondered what I would be like if I had never left Rochester, our family & most of our close friends are all still there,so we too,would not have the "need" to make other friends. I would like to think however,that I would be welcoming to new people to the area,I am a "people" person and have never understood the whole concept of not wanting to be friendly to people.

As someone who now has had to experience the somewhat coldness from areas we have moved to, I feel bad if people living in Rochester experience the same thing there.
I have always felt that Rochester was an extremely friendly place,but it could be because I am a bit "bias" to the area, I don't know.
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Old 07-07-2009, 04:43 PM
 
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there's a difference between being friendly and actually wanting to be/make a friend.. Once out of school and say past your mid 20's, IMO, people in Roch mostly hang out with their family members. But this is true of most areas of the country. For example, how many people actually would invite a "friend" or outsider to a family Thanksgiving dinner?
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Old 07-07-2009, 05:57 PM
 
3,234 posts, read 7,959,730 times
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Originally Posted by loveautumn View Post
there's a difference between being friendly and actually wanting to be/make a friend.. Once out of school and say past your mid 20's, IMO, people in Roch mostly hang out with their family members. But this is true of most areas of the country. For example, how many people actually would invite a "friend" or outsider to a family Thanksgiving dinner?
I'm in my late 20s. I hang out with people in their late 20s/early 30s. I am constantly meeting people in their late 20s and 30s while out and about(bars, concerts, festivals, restaurants, sporting events, etc) who aren't hanging out with family.
At our family thanksgivings, christmas, and easters we've had outsiders countless numbers of times. And we're one of those close knit Italian families.
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