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Old 07-18-2010, 09:36 PM
 
Location: West Michigan
12,083 posts, read 34,584,617 times
Reputation: 16866

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Mayberry like the television show you'll never find it. Never could find a town like it. You CAN come close though. That is why I live where I do. Small town where everybody knows everybody. Store owners not only know who their customers are, they know who all the kids belong to in town as well. I've gotten a call from one of the store owners this summer to make sure it was alright for my 12 year old son to be looking at the pocket knives, and if he wanted to buy one, should she sell it to him. (Yes to both questions, by the way.)

Churches are still active, and respected. Schools are better now than they were in the 60's and 70's when I went to them. Some of my kids teachers are the same ones I had 35 years ago and they keep getting better at their job. One of the "recommendations" in this District is that Teachers keep learning new teaching methods, as well as staying current in their field. Some teachers were in my class all through school. Most have been here a long time (average tenure in the District is over 20 years.)

This town still is small like it was before I moved away years ago. Population is still almost exactly the same and that really is a good thing. People here can trace their family history by the road names, names on the faces of buildings, and names of the lakes. Most have moved away at some point, and many have returned to raise their own families. I know my own family history here goes back to the same time this town was settled back in the mid 1800's. We are not unusual either. Newcomers are welcomed here better than any other place I have lived as well. Odd really, considering how close people are to each other.

Kids still ride bikes around town all day every day during the summer. Most are gone first thing in the morning and show back up to their respective homes to stay around dark. Difference now than years ago, is that most of them now have cell phones. Whatever house they are at when it is Lunch, they just sit down and grab a bite with their friends and then back on their way again. Pick-up baseball games, pennies on the railroad tracks, ice cream bars from the drugstore, and sitting by the riverbank dangling feet in the moving water still are top spots for most kids here. Mayberry? No. But very close for those of us who live here. Is there a town out there that will feel that way to the OP? Probably, but it is going to take some digging and visiting to find it. I got lucky and was born in one, so when it came time to raise my family in a good wholesome environment outside the home, this was still the top pick out of the hundreds of places we looked when making that choice.
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Old 07-18-2010, 10:33 PM
 
9,807 posts, read 13,682,398 times
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---------jmany have returned to raise their own families------
----------newcomers are welcome here-------

How then can your town's population be---almost exactly the same---for the last 40 years ?
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Old 07-19-2010, 05:43 AM
 
Location: West Michigan
12,083 posts, read 34,584,617 times
Reputation: 16866
Quote:
Originally Posted by marmac View Post
---------jmany have returned to raise their own families------
----------newcomers are welcome here-------

How then can your town's population be---almost exactly the same---for the last 40 years ?
easy, MANY have returned, not ALL have returned.
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Old 07-19-2010, 05:56 AM
 
Location: Kenmore, WA
7,490 posts, read 6,579,476 times
Reputation: 10947
My DH and I set out Labor Day '08 to find it, and though we saw a lot of great places, enjoyed the trip of a lifetime, we discovered "there's no place like home" -- dang it! (You can see highlight of the trip on my DH's 'blog; the URL is on my profile page.)

What we didn't record is all the economic devastation we discovered, dating back to the first loss of jobs in the 60s, and earlier. We also saw the grim, devastating reality of what ignorance and bigotry has wrought in this country. I've come to believe that we cannot advance much further without working very hard to improve our education and race relations.

Now, heading home (to arrive by the 31st), I take with me the conviction to make my community into Mayberry. I will be the one that stops and chats with my neighbors on the streets and in the neighborhood. I will be the one that volunteers to help the poor, the sick, and the elderly. I will be the one to speak out when change is due. Maybe Mayberry lives in the hearts of all, and only needs a bit of warm welcome to show itself.

And, maybe not -- but what the heck, we've nothing more to lose.
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Old 07-19-2010, 07:05 AM
 
5,022 posts, read 4,379,709 times
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It is so sad that we are loosing the very thing that we need. Our development is surrounded by acres off woods. My sons have no friends after 6 years here, we have no friends here also. Two reasons ; my kids go to parochial and therefore do not ride the bus with the kids in the development. The other reason ; everyone stays indoors. I mean everyone. My kids are the only ones outside. Their school friends come over and have a blast; why ; they are allowed to go for walks in the woods, to explore, (yes, take a phone) but have a blast. They are usually gone for 2 hours.
The other kids ; I dont know what they do, but they are never outside.Parents are never outside.
We are moving out of here as soon as we can. I thought it would be great to live in a newer development where there are really no cars, where kids can play outside and enjoy the weather. But no ; we are all indoors on our computers, watching the tv and in the air conditioned houses.

its lonely here.
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Old 07-19-2010, 07:18 AM
 
Location: the sticks
823 posts, read 1,324,480 times
Reputation: 582
Coincidently (or not), I made my status line on this very subject several weeks ago because I find myself using it daily as an excuse for the current times we live. Although you are correct, it was just a tv show, I was raised with open windows, unlocked doors, front porches, fishin ponds, knowing everyone including the police as well as the drunks. riding bikes, learning from my mistakes, no lawsuits, being bad and not gettin caught, gettin warnings from the police or neighbors workin it out without the police.

Ever thing you see on that show was close to home. Believe it or not. I am about Opies age in real life, maybe a couple years older, born and reared and still residing in the same spot, only a couple hours south of the actual Mayberry. I've seen 'em come and I've seen 'em go.

Today, nothing in life is perceptual to this lifestyle; if a person born after 1970s were to pick it up and watch it cold, he would not understand any of its' original and soulful intent. Today, police are trained to be cold and distant to all in all situations - do not innocently pat one on the shoulder, you will be embarassed by the response. It aint Mayberry no more. Common sense and common courtesy and southern charm are a distant memory.

If Andy was sittin on the porch and he lit up a cig, something was goin on... or maybe it was just a good ole sunday after dinner cigerette, who cared ?
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Old 07-19-2010, 07:27 AM
 
9,807 posts, read 13,682,398 times
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The unlocked doors era has passed.

Nearly every town, even " Mayberry", has public roads/highways .

You may know every single resident of your " Mayberry", but if you don't know everyone who might drive through " Mayberry" in the middle of the night, it is a good idea to lock the doors at night.
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Old 07-19-2010, 07:36 AM
 
Location: the sticks
823 posts, read 1,324,480 times
Reputation: 582
Quote:
Originally Posted by marmac View Post
The unlocked doors era has passed.

Nearly every town, even " Mayberry", has public roads/highways .

You may know every single resident of your " Mayberry", but if you don't know everyone who might drive through " Mayberry" in the middle of the night, it is a good idea to lock the doors at night.
Of course this era has passed, that's the point I was tryin to make. But where I grew up, when I grew up, they (locks) were not used. And you are also correct, the only real trouble came from outta town.

Last edited by burr; 07-19-2010 at 07:48 AM..
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Old 07-19-2010, 08:40 AM
 
Location: Kennesaw, GA
167 posts, read 770,206 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ozarksboy View Post
Listen, I hate to break the news to you, but the stuff on TV sitcoms is fiction. That means it is made up. Now I like the Andy Griffith Show as much, probably more, than most people who visit city-data because it is still funnier than any modern sitcom and there's no cussing and no dirty jokes. Nevertheless, it is fiction. People do not rush into the jail with armloads of food. In no town does the town drunk come and go as he pleases. There are still small towns with strong family and community values, but they are weakening, and I'm fixing to tell you why. But first, let me tell you why small towns were a little bit like Mayberry.

One, the lack of media: In the Fifties and early Sixties in rural America, you could only get one or two TV channels, if that. You had one theater in a small town, maybe. The TV and the movie house did not show filth, so children did not learn filth at an early age.

Two, the role of the church: Every small town had one, two or more active Christian churches, and almost everybody in town went to church. Even children who didn't pay close attention got a little bit of instruction in spiritual values.

Three, the public school system wasn't bogged down in paperwork and fear of lawsuits. Small-town school teachers and administrators were not afraid to give children a paddling or even a whipping when needed. And when children got home, they got another whipping from dad.

Four, most families had two parents and they were of the opposite sex.

Five, the people in small-town America in those days were likely born in or near their small town, as their parents were, and they grew up there. The bonds between neighbors were strong because they were probably distantly related.

Nowadays, the mass media is everywhere. You cannot escape cable tV, satellite TV or the internet. Well, you can choose not to have them, but your neighbors are likely going to choose to bring that filth into their homes and contaminate their children, who will take it out on you. That's why I hear rap music thumping out of car windows even at 2 a.m. in little ole Rolla, MO.

Churches have lost membership and stature in the communities, for many reasons. I think one reason is they have become too much like civic clubs, so there's really no reason to attend them. Probably the biggest reason, though, is that given the choice of imitating Christ or imitating the people on modern television, young people choose the latter.

Public schools have dumbed-down the curriculum, have been told by parents not to discipline their children and no longer provide a quality education.

Nowadays, families are all screwed up. It is hard to figure out who is the dad and the mom there are so many parents and step-parents.

The society is mobile and small-towners are going hither and yon. They go to the cities to shop, so small downtowns that used to be crowded on Saturday nights are empty because the storefronts all have For Rent or For Sale signs on them. People move in and out of small towns, so they never have a real sense of rootedness.

I do not understand city slickers who say they are looking for a Mayberry type town, but they do not want a town without access to media. They do not want a town where churches are strong and active. They do not support corporal punishment in schools. They see nothing wrong with marriage, divorce, remarriage, divorce, etc. Once they move to "Mayberry" they won't go to Floyd the barber; they will drive to the nearest city to get a style at a salon. They won't take anything to Emmitt the fix-it man, they will throw away what doesn't work and drive to the city to do some serious shopping at the mall.

You can't have Mayberry any longer, my friend, because no one under 30 or even 40 really wants Mayberry.

That's just my cranky old hillbilly opnion. Many others, perhaps most, will disagree.
This is dead on. I 100% agree. I am in the 30 something crowd- however, I don't throw everything away after 6 months, or have every new tech gadget (including a cellphone) and I am involved in church and my childrens' education. I am a huge advocate of enjoying my neighbors and the relationships we build together and I like growing my own food and I like old things that were built to last. People are more important than my stuff, and I make myself available to others in a place where the rat race is alive and well. It is true that you MAKE your own Mayberry. You cannot continue to live your current lifestyle and achieve different results. As this poster says, Mayberry is a lifestyle, not a place. Sadly, it seems like SO many people desire this- but few are willing to give up the things that destroy that community feeling.
Just some suggestions on how to find Mayberry, based on my personal experiences...
1. Turn off the TV. No one wants to hear about gloom and doom going on in their community all the time. It just makes you think negatively about where you live.
2. Stop phoning and texting, and invite a real live person over to your house to have coffee. Talk face to face. Most communication is not verbal, but non-verbal. How do you see that through a cellphone??
3. Get involved in something. Anything. Every town or city has organizations that you can be apart of that are free where you can volunteer your time and energy. You will find other people there who are looking for the same Mayberry you are looking for.
4. Stop buying crap. Decide today that you have enough stuff. Put the money in a savings account for a rainy day. Besides, you can't focus on relationships when you are thinking about the next thing you want to buy.
5. Go for a walk around you neighborhood. Get some fresh air. Make conversation with other people outside in their yards. Introduce yourself, even if both of you have lived in the neighborhood for 10 years.

I know all this stuff seems simple, but America has lost touch with the basic principles of communication and building community. You don't need a lot of money, or a ton of time, or a small town. You just need to examine what is important in the long run. Is it amenities and stuff or is it people and relationships? So that is just may take on the Mayberry search....

Last edited by mezzogirl; 07-19-2010 at 08:44 AM.. Reason: typo
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Old 07-19-2010, 08:51 AM
 
Location: the sticks
823 posts, read 1,324,480 times
Reputation: 582
...and very sadly, mezzo, we cant ignore drugs, specifically CRANK, crystal meth. What a difference this world is with the introduction of this killer.
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