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Old 11-13-2010, 11:52 PM
 
68 posts, read 284,028 times
Reputation: 62

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Alright. I hope this is in the right place.

So, my girlfriend - in an attempt, I'm quite sure, just to upset me - has been talking a lot lately about settling down somewhere and starting a family. She knows I don't like thinking about that just quite yet - I'm 25, she's 23 - but nevertheless, manages to bring it up at least once a week.

So we have these long talks about marriage and children and a bunch of other things that make me want to jump off a cliff. But especially lately, she's been wondering where the best place to live would be. She's even got this fairly extensive list of what she's looking for in a town or area.

I've taken a look at it, and I'm fairly certain that such a place meeting her criteria would be hard to find. But, mostly out of curiosity, I thought I'd post it here in case anyone might know a place like this. So here is the (abridged) version:

1. A place with few enough people to allow a great deal of privacy, but enough to not be completely in the boonies. So a small town.

2. A place with real estate / land cheap enough to get 5 or so acres without breaking the bank - she's big into gardening, sustainable farming, and whatnot. Either land or a house - she wants to build a house if she can't find one she likes. How she plans to pay for it, she has yet to divulge.

3. A place with rich Autumn foliage/colors. Don't ask me why.

4. A place with a high chance of a White Christmas. Again, don't ask.

5. A place relatively near a major transportation hub - Airport, Amtrak, etc.

6. A place with relatively low/moderate taxes.

7. A place where she could get DSL/Broadband internet. That one, at least, I understand.

Personally, I don't know anywhere that would fit all those. Maybe somewhere in New England (Maine?), or maybe Minnesota/Wisconsin. We've both lived in Seattle for most of our adult lives, and I know there's nowhere in the Pacific NW that would qualify.

It's probably all just wishlisting on her part, especially considering that the Army moves me where it wants to, and she works in Seattle, anyway. But I thought I'd inquire with you good people, if only to get her off my back for a while. And it doesn't hurt to dream, I suppose.

Thanks, in advance!
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Old 11-14-2010, 08:03 AM
 
Location: Forests of Maine
31,146 posts, read 50,309,418 times
Reputation: 19849
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wolf14016 View Post
... She knows I don't like thinking about that just quite yet - I'm 25, she's 23 - but nevertheless, manages to bring it up at least once a week.
You mentioned the Army, so I assume that you have about 7 years 'in'. You are beyond your first enlistment, but not to your 10th year yet, so not really designated as 'career' yet.

As you know so long as your on Active Duty you do not have much input on where you will be stationed.

However planning ahead is good. A 20-year pension is nice, and honestly you are only 13 years away from getting that pension.

I can see her desire to start raising a family. I can also understand her desire to begin planning for your retirement.

I retired with a 20-year pension



Quote:
... 1. A place with few enough people to allow a great deal of privacy, but enough to not be completely in the boonies. So a small town.
There are many nice small towns.



Quote:
... 2. A place with real estate / land cheap enough to get 5 or so acres without breaking the bank - she's big into gardening, sustainable farming, and whatnot. Either land or a house - she wants to build a house if she can't find one she likes. How she plans to pay for it, she has yet to divulge.
That is doable.

We found an area with cheap forest land.

We bought 42 acres of forest with 1/4 mile of river frontage for mid $30k. And a second parcel of 105 acres forest [but no river frontage] for an additional $30k.

Building your own house is often the cheapest way to go. I am building our house.

We began drawing it's design when I was at about my 10th year on Active Duty. Every year I would pull out those plans for a few days on the kitchen table. Asking each of our children about what they would like to see in our future home, and what my Dw would like. Making adjustments to the plans, before putting them away for another year.

Regardless of where we were stationed, it kept the goal focused in our minds.

If you look at my profile here on CD there are some photos of our backyard. See what you think.



Quote:
... 3. A place with rich Autumn foliage/colors. Don't ask me why.
Because it is pretty. It may not mean much to you. But some people really get a lot of enjoyment every time they look outside to see the colours changing.



Quote:
... 4. A place with a high chance of a White Christmas. Again, don't ask.
She sounds like a romantic person.

Actually we find that snow is much easier to deal with rather then constant hot that you find in some places.



Quote:
... 5. A place relatively near a major transportation hub - Airport, Amtrak, etc.
We lucked out in this category too. There are international airports scattered in odd places. We live 25 minutes from one.



Quote:
... 6. A place with relatively low/moderate taxes.
This was also a major issue for us.

And yes it does exist.



Quote:
... 7. A place where she could get DSL/Broadband internet. That one, at least, I understand.
I can see that as a good thing to have.

We like our DSL and feel very fortunate to have it in our area.



Quote:
... Personally, I don't know anywhere that would fit all those. Maybe somewhere in New England (Maine?)
Absolutely.



Quote:
... or maybe Minnesota/Wisconsin.
Could be.



Quote:
... We've both lived in Seattle for most of our adult lives, and I know there's nowhere in the Pacific NW that would qualify.
I hear you.

I was stationed at Bremerton and Subase Bangor; I have had many friends who bought retirement homes in the PNW. At the time, we thought they were really planning ahead and getting good deals.

But they are barely managing now due to the taxes. A military pension is not enough, so they were each forced to seek a follow-on career. Now however as years go by it does bring up the question of what are they going to do when they become 65. Their pensions still will not be enough to support them living in that area. They can struggle now, but as they turn 65, they flee the PNW.



Quote:
... It's probably all just wishlisting on her part, especially considering that the Army moves me where it wants to, and she works in Seattle, anyway. But I thought I'd inquire with you good people, if only to get her off my back for a while. And it doesn't hurt to dream, I suppose.

Thanks, in advance!
It does not hurt at all.

Dreaming makes it possible on day to become real.

Good luck
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Old 11-14-2010, 09:00 AM
 
17 posts, read 22,664 times
Reputation: 33
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wolf14016 View Post
Alright. I hope this is in the right place.

So, my girlfriend - in an attempt, I'm quite sure, just to upset me - has been talking a lot lately about settling down somewhere and starting a family. She knows I don't like thinking about that just quite yet - I'm 25, she's 23 - but nevertheless, manages to bring it up at least once a week.

So we have these long talks about marriage and children and a bunch of other things that make me want to jump off a cliff. But especially lately, she's been wondering where the best place to live would be. She's even got this fairly extensive list of what she's looking for in a town or area.

I've taken a look at it, and I'm fairly certain that such a place meeting her criteria would be hard to find. But, mostly out of curiosity, I thought I'd post it here in case anyone might know a place like this. So here is the (abridged) version:

1. A place with few enough people to allow a great deal of privacy, but enough to not be completely in the boonies. So a small town.

2. A place with real estate / land cheap enough to get 5 or so acres without breaking the bank - she's big into gardening, sustainable farming, and whatnot. Either land or a house - she wants to build a house if she can't find one she likes. How she plans to pay for it, she has yet to divulge.

3. A place with rich Autumn foliage/colors. Don't ask me why.

4. A place with a high chance of a White Christmas. Again, don't ask.

5. A place relatively near a major transportation hub - Airport, Amtrak, etc.

6. A place with relatively low/moderate taxes.

7. A place where she could get DSL/Broadband internet. That one, at least, I understand.

Personally, I don't know anywhere that would fit all those. Maybe somewhere in New England (Maine?), or maybe Minnesota/Wisconsin. We've both lived in Seattle for most of our adult lives, and I know there's nowhere in the Pacific NW that would qualify.

Thanks, in advance!
This is EXACTLY (and I do mean exactly, point by point) what I want in a place to live. I always figured Maine is the one place that fits.
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Old 11-14-2010, 09:19 AM
 
Location: Southern Illinois
138 posts, read 159,469 times
Reputation: 48
You could take a visit to Southern Illinois. The White Christmas is the one sticking point -- because while it does snow down here, it's not a guarantee it'll happen over Christmas. I think there was only one or possibly two snowfalls last season. But each one of her other criteria are met. It's gorgeous down here, the people are friendly, there is a community if you want it, but it's definitely small enough for privacy too. Carbondale is more liberal, as it has Southern Illinois University, but there are small towns all around the area that are nice too, if that conflicts with your politics (the other towns are more right-wing). Good luck!

Oh -- by the way -- if you're in the military and need to be near a base, there is one in St. Louis . . . and there's a VA in Marion.
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Old 11-14-2010, 01:29 PM
 
Location: Forests of Maine
31,146 posts, read 50,309,418 times
Reputation: 19849
Quote:
Originally Posted by light1111 View Post
You could take a visit to Southern Illinois. The White Christmas is the one sticking point -- because while it does snow down here, it's not a guarantee it'll happen over Christmas. I think there was only one or possibly two snowfalls last season. But each one of her other criteria are met. It's gorgeous down here, the people are friendly, there is a community if you want it, but it's definitely small enough for privacy too. Carbondale is more liberal, as it has Southern Illinois University, but there are small towns all around the area that are nice too, if that conflicts with your politics (the other towns are more right-wing). Good luck!

Oh -- by the way -- if you're in the military and need to be near a base, there is one in St. Louis . . . and there's a VA in Marion.
Military only has to be near bases while they are on Active Duty. And then they will be stationed at a base of their own choosing but as the military chooses.

As for vets, every state has VA hospitals.

If a person stays in for a career and retires from the military, then they are often better off to locate far away from any military base. [ I am a military retiree, I know ]
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Old 11-14-2010, 02:08 PM
 
2,688 posts, read 6,392,887 times
Reputation: 4151
Red face Four Corners, VT...

I don't think this place actually exists, either. I must have been extremely young when I watched a particular episode of 'Lost In Space'. Will Robinson got transported to 'Four Corners, Vermont'. It was so beautiful, all snowy and full of nice people and so peaceful. Can't seem to find this location, anywhere...lololol..it's always been my 'dream hometown'.
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Old 11-14-2010, 02:30 PM
 
4,925 posts, read 9,902,261 times
Reputation: 3279
Just one thought on one of the OPs criteria...the idea that a small or rural town provides more privacy. If they mean privacy from having people see you, having people living right on top of you, sure, he's right.

But if he means privacy in the sense that you can be relatively anonymous, that people are unaware of your business, I think you may have a harder time with that in a lot of small rural towns and areas and in the boonies. Since there are so many fewer people than in a city, things that you do tend to stick out more and be noticed more.

I've always laughed at the movies in which someone goes to hide-out from someone by going out to the sticks or some tiny little town. In the little places I've lived, strangers stick out like a sore thumb. If someone moves in, often everyone (or nearly so) is talking about them...who are they, where they are from, did you see what they were driving, what do the do for a living, they came into town last Tuesday and went to the post office and carried out some packages, etc., etc....

I've often thought that for pure anonymity, a big, big city is the ticket...you're just part of the herd, a piece of the scenery.

Just a thought. I'm sure not every little place is like that...but I think most are.

Last edited by skinem; 11-14-2010 at 02:57 PM..
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Old 11-14-2010, 04:04 PM
 
9,807 posts, read 13,682,398 times
Reputation: 8170
Quote:
Originally Posted by skinem View Post
Just one thought on one of the OPs criteria...the idea that a small or rural town provides more privacy. If they mean privacy from having people see you, having people living right on top of you, sure, he's right.

But if he means privacy in the sense that you can be relatively anonymous, that people are unaware of your business, I think you may have a harder time with that in a lot of small rural towns and areas and in the boonies. Since there are so many fewer people than in a city, things that you do tend to stick out more and be noticed more.

I've always laughed at the movies in which someone goes to hide-out from someone by going out to the sticks or some tiny little town. In the little places I've lived, strangers stick out like a sore thumb. If someone moves in, often everyone (or nearly so) is talking about them...who are they, where they are from, did you see what they were driving, what do the do for a living, they came into town last Tuesday and went to the post office and carried out some packages, etc., etc....

I've often thought that for pure anonymity, a big, big city is the ticket...you're just part of the herd, a piece of the scenery.

Just a thought. I'm sure not every little place is like that...but I think most are.
I agree.

I was laid up with shoulder surgery twice, and the wife bought me some interesting paperback books to keep me occupied.

One was written by a guy who traveled the least populated counties in the US and stopped to visit the people living there.

He stated what you stated.

He said if someone wants to drop off the face of the earth, rent a small room in New York City and nobody will know or care who you are or where you're from.

Do the same in the places he visited and everyone will know about you.
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Old 11-14-2010, 09:14 PM
 
68 posts, read 284,028 times
Reputation: 62
Sorry it took so long to reply - spent all day watching football. I live a hard life :P

Anyway, thanks for all the replies so far. I'll try and touch on what's been said -

- I'm actually only about 2.5 years into my enlistment - I joined out of college to pay off my student loans. I haven't decided if I'll renew my contract - depends on a lot of things I won't go into here. Being near a base isn't important, though.

- I think a better word might be seclusion, rather then privacy. Being able to look around you and not see another home, or a busy road.

- She would definitely qualify as a romantic; I think that's why I love her so much, since I'm a little more down to earth. For example, on the whole white Christmas thing: I got to attend arctic warfare training in Alaska, and learned some things about cold climates. And anywhere that gets regular White Christmases will be really cold in the winter (naturally), which I don't think she knows (or cares).

Anyway, thank you for all the replies!
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Old 11-14-2010, 10:28 PM
 
Location: Knoxville
4,327 posts, read 21,220,469 times
Reputation: 5169
There was a Twilight Zone where a man would fall asleep on the train and wake up at a stop called Willoughby (I think). It was his ideal, and one day he got off the train to live there.

Not sure they had DSL though.
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