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Old 03-14-2012, 02:11 PM
 
1,135 posts, read 1,871,559 times
Reputation: 1571

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I know things I say might immediately seem offensive to anyone who lives in a small town and that is not at ALL my intention and maybe I just don't know how to ask otherwise.

I moved from a southern city of roughly 3 1/2 mill people and it is now 51/2 mill. Granted I grew up just outside that environment and would have fought tooth and nail if I ever would have been forced to live there growing up. So, I grew up. I did move there. I was veryy successful in many male dominated businesses and it was all a piece of cake. However, once I had my own kid, I longed for her to grow up with the old fashioned small town ethics/surroundings I did. I relocated us 2200 miles from home. New England was so much safer...........no drive by shootings at the elementary schools or at my store.

Still, after 15 years, I find myself in a roundabout of emotions. I know I have to dumb myself down to fit in with the locals, whom I have NOTHING in common with. Sure we have our basic small town "roots" but as adults? NIL However, I didn't have a thing in common with big city phony people. I wonder if I compromised my daughters' growth on MANY fronts. Yes, I consider moving back to some "civilization" occasionally but know my heart would break. Funny , but my soul has peace but my head wonders ," What the hell did you do giving me a walking lobotomy."

Ahhh the definition of conundrum................
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Old 03-14-2012, 03:52 PM
 
Location: N.H Gods Country
2,360 posts, read 4,554,847 times
Reputation: 1985
Listen to your soul. Our heads can do funny things.( at least mine can)
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Old 03-14-2012, 03:56 PM
 
Location: Eastern Kentucky
1,237 posts, read 2,761,181 times
Reputation: 1290
Ok, I'm going to resist temptation and play nice here. How about you resist temptation and not refer to getting to know and trying to understand your neighbors as dumbing yourself down. They probably have different skillsets, concerns, and ways of expressing themselves, but if you will just take the time to get to know them, you just may find that some of them are quite intelligent. If you can't do this, you might be well advised to consider a move back to the city.
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Old 03-14-2012, 04:30 PM
 
1,135 posts, read 1,871,559 times
Reputation: 1571
Quote:
Originally Posted by masonsdaughter View Post
Ok, I'm going to resist temptation and play nice here. How about you resist temptation and not refer to getting to know and trying to understand your neighbors as dumbing yourself down. They probably have different skillsets, concerns, and ways of expressing themselves, but if you will just take the time to get to know them, you just may find that some of them are quite intelligent. If you can't do this, you might be well advised to consider a move back to the city.
Yah...been doing so for 15 years and totally respect the basics that brought me here to start with....the rest is NOT there. You don't have to "play nice" I do it daily. My neighbors are great on most fronts. They just haven't a clue that life can happen outside logging, milking and syrupping. I do NOT FAULT them...I'm just not in the same boat. Simple observations and acknowledgement is equally simple. I RESPECT the similarities that landed me here but sometimes wonder if I sold myself short at too early of an age. My "skill sets" outweigh theirs on a different level and I have earned that respect on many fronts and those "old school" guys chuckle because I outwork them. We all laugh about it. They are great. I just busted those chops 20 years ago. However, these old guys make me laugh.

My neighbors are the best I'd ever hope to have. I love them! "I just wonder if I settled by trying to hide from the nastiness of a big city. "

You get it or you don't...................
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Old 03-14-2012, 05:31 PM
 
48,516 posts, read 85,127,415 times
Reputation: 18083
Quote:
Originally Posted by swanstone1 View Post
I know things I say might immediately seem offensive to anyone who lives in a small town and that is not at ALL my intention and maybe I just don't know how to ask otherwise.

I moved from a southern city of roughly 3 1/2 mill people and it is now 51/2 mill. Granted I grew up just outside that environment and would have fought tooth and nail if I ever would have been forced to live there growing up. So, I grew up. I did move there. I was veryy successful in many male dominated businesses and it was all a piece of cake. However, once I had my own kid, I longed for her to grow up with the old fashioned small town ethics/surroundings I did. I relocated us 2200 miles from home. New England was so much safer...........no drive by shootings at the elementary schools or at my store.

Still, after 15 years, I find myself in a roundabout of emotions. I know I have to dumb myself down to fit in with the locals, whom I have NOTHING in common with. Sure we have our basic small town "roots" but as adults? NIL However, I didn't have a thing in common with big city phony people. I wonder if I compromised my daughters' growth on MANY fronts. Yes, I consider moving back to some "civilization" occasionally but know my heart would break. Funny , but my soul has peace but my head wonders ," What the hell did you do giving me a walking lobotomy."

Ahhh the definition of conundrum................
You really have to read your own post to see just now you come off. Bascially you moved your child to escape what how you grewup with has changed that world but think that those who never got to this point are dumb. Perhaps your view is skewed by your prjudice on just what is smart or wise.
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Old 03-14-2012, 06:50 PM
 
Location: Western Nebraskansas
2,707 posts, read 5,435,621 times
Reputation: 2415
Quote:
I know I have to dumb myself down to fit in with the locals, whom I have NOTHING in common with. Sure we have our basic small town "roots" but as adults? NIL
Ya know, I've never lived in a big city. The biggest town I've ever lived in was 5,000 people...

However, I do have the perspective of having lived in several different states, something that most of my peer group simply hasn't done. I'm a college grad. Something else that most of my peer group hasn't done. I'm also smarter than the average bear. Always have been.
It would be very easy for me to have the same philosophy as the above quote.

On the other hand, I was taught to take people where they are. Every person contributes something of value to this world. The trick is to figure out what it is and learn to value it yourself. Once you're able to do this there will be no more need for "dumbing down."
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Old 03-14-2012, 07:15 PM
 
Location: Connecticut
1,144 posts, read 1,852,763 times
Reputation: 1339
I grew up in a mid sized town in Connecticut. Education was highly stressed but you know what I hated school. I was a geek and bullied. They were a few years I played hooky so often they were going to keep me back. I got my education from reading, reading everything that wasn't moving. I just moved to a very rural community which is basically farming. I love the peace and quiet but I also love my neighbors. They are not much on reading but they are wonderful people. If I have any questions or need any help they are only to happy to give me a hand. I may have some "book" smarts but they have lots of "other" smarts. Things to do with weather, crops and animals, I really enjoy chatting with them.
The second week I moved here this very elderly woman came by and rang my bell to introduce herself. She asked me to come outside and she took me over to this fir tree I have. She pointed out these little brown cocoon things hanging off the tree. She told me to take them off the tree or they will destroy it. I had a fir tree in CT that was very ratty and eventually got rid of it. I didn't know about those cocoon things then.
The older the people are the more interesting I find them. They have such wonderful stories about all sorts of things. So I'm not going to be able to chat with them about some foreign film I just saw but we have lots of other things we can chat about.
I don't feel I need to dumb myself down to chat with my neighbors but if I can be of any assistance to them by helping them with tax information or other financial matters I will give them all the help they want.
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Old 03-14-2012, 07:19 PM
 
2,878 posts, read 3,927,056 times
Reputation: 3083
Quote:
Originally Posted by itsMeFred View Post
Ya know, I've never lived in a big city. The biggest town I've ever lived in was 5,000 people...

However, I do have the perspective of having lived in several different states, something that most of my peer group simply hasn't done. I'm a college grad. Something else that most of my peer group hasn't done. I'm also smarter than the average bear. Always have been.
It would be very easy for me to have the same philosophy as the above quote.

On the other hand, I was taught to take people where they are. Every person contributes something of value to this world. The trick is to figure out what it is and learn to value it yourself. Once you're able to do this there will be no more need for "dumbing down."
That's a false premise - that every person contributes something to this world. Many don't, sadly, but they still go around because the laws today protect the stupid and the rude.

To the OP: do you go to church? I don't and I find that this is the biggest setback wherever I go. I realized some time ago that church is a place of business for many folks. Every time they need something done on their house - there is bound to be a guy at church who does it or knows someone who does. Same with fixing your car, getting a deal on something etc.

OD
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Old 03-14-2012, 07:22 PM
 
Location: Middle America
37,149 posts, read 43,082,479 times
Reputation: 51738
I would caution you that people are not necessarily unintelligent simply because their interests and priorities differ from yours.
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Old 03-14-2012, 08:06 PM
 
5,239 posts, read 6,872,613 times
Reputation: 11337
Ask yourself, do you think the people of your little community would find your post offensive? Why don't you tell them how much you've had to dumb down and about that walking lobotomy you've gotten from living among them. How do you think that would make them feel? If that's an indication how much you respect the people of that area, you really should move back to that big city "civilization".
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