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Old 09-10-2014, 09:27 AM
 
17,480 posts, read 10,879,028 times
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Not sure if this has been said.....we hear "wow, you can buy clothes at the grocery store" It is sectioned off and happens to have real cute clothes for women and young girls, better than Macy's!

Another, "No fast food how do you people eat" First then we

By the way hi everyone, I love small towns. Except small towns are like cabins 4000 sq ft is not a cabin....
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Old 09-10-2014, 01:16 PM
 
Location: UpstateNY
8,612 posts, read 8,509,377 times
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Yep, they have a full level of Carrhart gear at the hardware store in Warrensburg. Really nice. Pick out some new camo while picking up some ammo and mouse bait.

Fast food? They have a deli at the general store. Order a sandwich or take home a pizza while you pick up some milk and the paper.
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Old 09-10-2014, 04:27 PM
 
17,480 posts, read 10,879,028 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CCc girl View Post
Yep, they have a full level of Carrhart gear at the hardware store in Warrensburg. Really nice. Pick out some new camo while picking up some ammo and mouse bait.

Fast food? They have a deli at the general store. Order a sandwich or take home a pizza while you pick up some milk and the paper.
One stop shopping!!
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Old 09-12-2014, 10:32 AM
 
Location: Somewhere.
190 posts, read 330,020 times
Reputation: 290
I'm from one of the largest cities in the South but live in a rural area of a small town in another state. Each time I go home to the "big city" because I'm feeling homesick, the first thing I want is to be back in my small town. I've been here over 20 years and have watched this town grow in that time but, not so much that we don't wave at each other at a red light, hug each other like it's been 10 years even though it was yesterday when we saw each other last, or help out our friends and neighbors if they need without a second thought.
The Unspoken Rules of a Small Town: Newcomers are welcome but if you stir the pot, we will put the lid on it real fast! Another thread's title was, "You Know You're From a Small Town When...": You love where you live and wouldn't trade it for anything; not even the "big city"!
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Old 09-12-2014, 01:22 PM
 
Location: Logan Township, Minnesota
15,511 posts, read 13,586,543 times
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An unwritten rule I find in most small towns is "Your neighbor owns any eggs your chickens lay in his yard."
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Old 09-12-2014, 10:21 PM
 
Location: Rolla, Phelps County, Ozarks, Missouri
1,069 posts, read 2,255,120 times
Reputation: 1259
Quote:
Originally Posted by GregW View Post
DO NOT MAKE SUGGESTIONS ON HOW TO IMPROVE THE PLACE!
Quote:
Originally Posted by CCc girl View Post
Words to live by, Greg. NEVER say how you did it back home; this is your home now.
It's danged discouraging to be all welcoming and howdy-do to folks and then hear them complaining about how much better things were back home where they came from (and where we wish they would return).

If every transplant and immigrant could learn from Greg and CCc girl, we'd all be a lot happier.



Quote:
Originally Posted by travric View Post
Wow...does it really take 4 years to not get noticed as an 'outsider' when setting up in town?
Can't I get a certificate or something before I move in ????...;-).....From the looks of it I would imagine 'trust' and someone's word are qualities important there!
You might find yourself in the position of being tolerated as a transplant but not accepted as a native is IF you decline opportunities to fit in.
I have said in the Missouri Forum on a couple of threads that the ways to get accepted in the Ozarks is:
Go to church, go to high school basketball games and football games and plays and band concerts, go to every festival and fair in your town/county, volunteer for some stuff, go listen to bluegrass jam sessions, go to community events that are open to the public, learn about the founding and history of your town/county, buy fruit from the FFA chapter and cheese and nuts or whatever the band sells.
Don't criticize, don't look down your nose, don't complain. Hold your opinions about how stupid your rural neighbors are inside your soul. Of course, you will believe that having moved to the rural area from a big city that you are smarter, more fashionable and sophisticated than your neighbors, and you probably are, but don't tell anyone what you think. They don't really care what you think, but they won't like you for telling them.
Understand that the small town and county you have chosen as your new home existed long before you showed up. What they are today may not be much, but they are the product of the hard work of families that have lived there longer than you have. That means you have not earned the right to tell those people what they have done wrong and what they should do to improve their lives.
You have to spend quite a bit of time learning to fit in before you can make some gentle suggestions.
The place got along perfectly well without you. Act like you're the new queen or king in town, and it will continue to get along perfectly well without you, even though you are living right there.
Just have respect for the people who live in the small town you have chosen to come brighten with your presence.
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Old 09-14-2014, 07:44 AM
 
1,338 posts, read 990,332 times
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Let me rearrange a bit what was said in the previous post, and add some emphasis.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ozarksboy View Post
It's danged discouraging to be all welcoming and howdy-do to folks .
- that actually means that locals expect newcomers to
Quote:
Go to church,.
- even if you are not religious, just spend half of your Sunday to please locals;
Quote:
go to high school basketball games and football games and plays and band concerts,
- even if you can't distinguish football from volleyball, and even if you know you'll have a nervous breakdown after the band's performance, remember, locals are more important than you, so be in compliance;
Quote:
go to every festival and fair in your town/county, volunteer for some stuff, .
- once again, go show that you are ready to waste your weekend in order to make them happy;
Quote:
buy fruit from the FFA chapter and cheese and nuts or whatever the band sells..
- and be prepared for huge emergency bill because your city stomach is (by definition) worthless since it can't digest what locals eat. And, you will be laughed at. Behind your back, of course. In you face, they will probably be howdy-do.

Remember, newcomer's perceived worth is zero, zilch, none. So shut up, and keep silent, unless you are ready to praise everything that you see, from ugly clothes to a habit of burning trash in the woodstoves in the densely populated neighborhoods:
Quote:
Originally Posted by ozarksboy View Post
Don't criticize,... don't complain. Hold your opinions about how stupid your rural neighbors are inside your soul. ... don't tell anyone what you think.
The last is critical.
So he emphasizes it even harder:
Quote:
They don't really care what you think, but they won't like you for telling them.
He is just a bit too gentle in describing what they will do. They will bite.
Basically, they disrespect a newcomer by definition; a newcomer is expected to respect everything locals do.
They hear pretty well if you fart in you own home, though. Even thought they don't care.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ozarksboy View Post
You have to spend quite a bit of time learning to fit in before you can make some gentle suggestions.
The place got along perfectly well without you..
Translating: "quite a bit" can mean 10, 15, 30 years, or a lifetime. "Gentle" means that after 30 years of watching how ravens feast on your neighbor's garbage that he throws on your lot, you can say to another neighbor (quietly, smiling, while bringing him 9 out of 10 zucchinis that grew in your vegetable garden) something like "I think I was so stupid for last 30 years that I didn't take on removing Jim's trash... He is so active in the community, he is constantly busy with fairs, bands, sports, church etc. Oh, how I'm ashamed of my inattentiveness!"


All of the above should sink well in the mind of a person who plans to move to a small town. Maybe it's better to leave small towns with no fresh blood (it's like feeding spiders in a jar). It would be interesting to watch what happens in 50 years.

Basically, a person thinking about moving to a small town, must ask him/herself: am I ready to sacrifice my personality? Because it's what will be demanded. Think of what you can (theoretically) get in return. ROI is very low in many cases.

Quote:
If every transplant and immigrant could learn from Greg and CCc girl, we'd all be a lot happier.
People value intercultural exchange because it lets them learn how to do things faster and better. Those who cant's learn lose in competition.

I wonder, how many of people who will agree with ozarksboy call themselves democrats?
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Old 09-15-2014, 09:44 AM
 
Location: UpstateNY
8,612 posts, read 8,509,377 times
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You will be well served if you tread lightly at first in any new situation. To be a bull in a china shop when going small town you won't make it easier on yourself.

You can, however, keep to yourself and not be a people pleaser if friendships and being part of the community are not for you.

We've been here twenty years and only know a handful of people.
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Old 09-15-2014, 09:46 AM
 
17,480 posts, read 10,879,028 times
Reputation: 6747
Quote:
Originally Posted by Woodrow LI View Post
An unwritten rule I find in most small towns is "Your neighbor owns any eggs your chickens lay in his yard."
Well, I would make sure those hens found lovely grass and a nice sitting place.

I least you don't have to provide coffee for the morning guest.
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Old 09-15-2014, 12:36 PM
 
Location: Where the mountains touch the sky
5,177 posts, read 6,001,413 times
Reputation: 8992
In any situation moving to a large, small or medium, or even to another country, learn the local culture/language/customs or you will always be an outsider.

I never felt so isolated in all my life as when I had to live in cities, the culture was too different. I had an easier time fitting in overseas where I had to learn new languages than I did in places like Seattle or San Diego where I would have had to change my entire moral structure.

It is always the decision of the person coming in whether or not they want to be part of the community, but if they do want to fit in, they have to make the effort. It isn't incumbant on the original population to conform to the whims of someone just moving in. They have no obligation to accept anybody they don't want to, there isn't any law demanding they change their lifestyle or customs to fit some newcomer's desires.

If you want to live in a place where you can do your own thing, small towns are great especially if you don't want any interaction, because they don't care what you do so you can do whatever makes you happy as long as it doesn't impact the other residents.
If you do want interaction, and work to become part of the community, small towns become a large family.

In a city, you don't have that freedom as there are laws and rules and regulations as well as a pervasive culture of looking over everybody else's shoulder to make sure they aren't doing something you don't like and if they are, you can always get some commissioner or whatever to make a law outlawing whatever behavior you don't like. (As long as it isn't some politically protected class thing anyway).

If you don't like small towns, don't go there. No matter what you think, they won't change so the only options you have is to either work to fit in, or find somewhwere else. If the newby moved there because of a job, OK, fine, if you are miserable you can always apply for a transfer or find another job because what is making you miserable won't change.

People go to small towns or move in part to find a life they like, so why should the folks living there happily lose that life to please some newcomer?

Doesn't make sense to me.
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