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Old 03-03-2013, 06:21 PM
 
797 posts, read 1,145,882 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JohnSoCal View Post
So you have to conform to what the others consider an appropriate lifestyle. No thanks, I will pass on that.
The young woman who was complaining was living with an older guy who just left his wife and 5 kids.
The young woman complaining should have known living in a small town where most of guy's in laws lived wasn't too smart !

Would YOU be as dense as that ,also ?
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Old 03-03-2013, 07:42 PM
 
Location: Murrieta California
3,023 posts, read 3,854,772 times
Reputation: 2201
Quote:
Originally Posted by Red Wolf View Post
The young woman who was complaining was living with an older guy who just left his wife and 5 kids.
The young woman complaining should have known living in a small town where most of guy's in laws lived wasn't too smart !

Would YOU be as dense as that ,also ?
First, I would never put myself in that situation. However I also would never live in a small town. Been there, seen it, and done it. I don't wish to do it again.
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Old 06-12-2014, 10:26 PM
 
1 posts, read 732 times
Reputation: 10
What do small towns mean to me?

Well having been born and raised for most of my childhood in a city where I was accepted and had friends before my family moved to not one but two small towns (downgrade and downgrade again) and in each one I was treated horribly as if I were a plague carrier..honestly I think small towns are highly over rated.

I currently live in a small town in Wisconsin, my childhood homecity is Austin Texas and I will tell you exactly what to expect if you move to a town up here:

Expect to be stared at, laughed at, and if you dare not look GERMAN in some towns get slurs tossed at you left and right ( got called Black Irish in Burlington WI...and much worse). Also expect the locals to initially find you as a invader, if they ever warm up to you and that is a big IF expect to be merely tolerated and never expect to make close friends because in small towns townies do not like making friends with outsiders (generally, there are exceptions).

If you are single after High School, ride a Bicycle, are a Vegetarian (or different in any way really, even being shorter than usual), and not one with "small town highly conservative cringe worthy values", expect to be treated as a freak and stared at. Also expect to be insulted for your choice, laughed at, and hear certain derogatory words said behind your back; and yes very few women will really want to be your friend because how dare you not help contribute to overpopulation.

Do not expect support in a true sense, if you move there in your primary school years either suck up to the locals (and lose your pride and sense of self) or prepare to be harassed, bullied, isolated, and assaulted mercilessly by everyone. If you have any sort of medical issues and are not native you will be shunned, ridiculed, and treated as if you do not exist.

That's right the inbred local kid with severe genetic issues gets treated with sympathy and caring, but if you have any problems well you are an outsider and they will not give a damn and will beat you down. Especially if you have something like Epilepsy...DO NOT go/move to a small town to live if you or your child has Epilepsy especially very visible epilepsy. You/your child will be treated like a monster and abused by the locals, the local doctors and shrinks will discriminate against you intentionally; and you will have nobody who will risk associating with you because they are convinced that an "outsider with seizures is possessed".

Do not expect to get a job, I mean it you are better off starting up a home business because the locals will always be hired first; it literally does not matter if you are better trained/qualified the locals will be hired over you. I am going 5 years unemployed due to this, my last job was a Coffee Barista in a nearby city and I am properly/classically trained yet I can't get a job at a local coffee shop but the untrained local who doesn't know how to make a proper latte and mixes up milks (which could cause a allergic reaction in a customer) gets the job right away and my application is ignored. I have even seen a application I turned in be thrown into the garbage..in front of me.
I am currently filling out five more applications..I can't afford gas so I have to try to get hired here which is impossible; if that fails I may turn to the option of "last resort" for women..

Small town values are not that great, I have met more Racists, Bigots, Narcissists, and generally close minded and rude people in the small towns I have lived in than in Austin or any city I have visited. And do not get me started on the "good churchgoing folks" they are for the most part anything but good especially the women, ask one a simple question and they go on about "I believe we have routines that excuse us for doing anything, and we all are free to do anything as the lord wishes, and I think for asking a simple question you are off in the head and mean and bigoted and close minded yappity yap". Yup ask a simple question about why people literally drive in circles around said small town for hours, the specific question being why and you get called crazy and close minded while a much larger woman is essentially trying to use her size to intimidate you. Yes expect this, tons of this from everyone..

The local rich people are untouchable, will always marry the local cheerleader sort, and if you criticize them you will be marked for social death. Oh and being born in the small town is everything, if you are not born or married to someone here...you are sort of done for.

Everyone drinks, goes to bars, and repeats the process every night for most of the year. In small towns there is generally nothing to do if you are a young adult or teen, or even a child in some cases. The local community center doesn't even offer classes that cater to young adults, because most young adults in small towns are married with 2.5 kids or more.

Small town people live a secular insular lifestyle, they will not listen to reason for the most part and if you are intelligent and not native the locals will claim you are "not that smart", they are also nosy and in everyone's business..not to mention "small town cooking" is generally so unhealthy especially in the Midwest that many many towns folk are overweight or obese.

The locals will try to convince you you can never leave and your previous area will never want you back, I found out that was a lie on a visit to Daytona Beach last year; literally every state south of Illinois we stopped in felt more like home and the people accepted me you could just feel it. In fact I got 8 offers to work while I was down there, as in I was asked on the spot if I would like to work at 8 locations. O-O
I was also told to head over to a few local comedy clubs because I was good by total strangers, and to look into a few news anchor positions (no joke). I hated having to leave and go back to this small town, where I can't get a callback or interview for 5 years.

Small towns will try to suck your individuality out of you and conform you, If you refuse you will be marked...but on the upside if you are marked there is nothing holding you in the town but financial issues.

Everything closes at 9pm, I mean everything..and on weekends most places may not even be open.

You will never be accepted, people will always look at you with a fake smile or a "ehehe..freak" face and there is literally only one way to survive with your sanity intact.
Become a walking standup comic show, seriously this is the only way to survive; that or live in the gym.

Small towns are very depressing places, in some areas (WI) they are also very racist, filled with bigots, close minded people, very rude twisted people, and quite frankly are toxic enough to cause hair to fall out. They practice technically illegal hiring methods, and once you are in one escaping is very hard to do; but getting out is literally your only way to survive.

In my opinion the concept of the small town is an idealized lie, and even though cities have high crime rates I much prefer them to small towns. In fact I think some small towns should be "returned to the earth", and I am currently saving up to try to move out of this small town and back to my home city of Austin Texas. When I think of small towns (especially in the Midwest) I think of a form of Purgatory/Limbo/A Dark Depressing Black Hole that is coated in superficial charm. Nice to visit but really a living hell to live in if you are not local or of retirement age.
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Old 06-13-2014, 10:38 AM
 
Location: Keosauqua, Iowa
9,200 posts, read 17,054,105 times
Reputation: 12393
Your worldview consists of one very unique city and two unnammed small towns. It's too bad that you've had a rough time of it, but please try to understand that the world is a much bigger place than you make it out to be.
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Old 06-13-2014, 11:32 AM
 
6,681 posts, read 3,812,484 times
Reputation: 23485
Living in a small town means the front page of the morning paper features the big headlines and a story, complete with photo, of a large tree that fell down yesterday.
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Old 06-13-2014, 11:47 AM
 
Location: Keosauqua, Iowa
9,200 posts, read 17,054,105 times
Reputation: 12393
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lodestar View Post
Living in a small town means the front page of the morning paper features the big headlines and a story, complete with photo, of a large tree that fell down yesterday.
That's assuming a tree fell down. If not if might be a picture of the Lions (or Kiwanis or Rotary or Eagles or what have you) president handing the library director (or tourism director or school superintendant or what have you) a donation check.

In the absense of that it might be a picture of random kids playing in the park (or swimming or sledding or what have you).
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Old 06-13-2014, 12:41 PM
 
Location: Where the mountains touch the sky
5,181 posts, read 6,006,557 times
Reputation: 9003
Quote:
Originally Posted by OhnoNotAgain View Post
What do small towns mean to me?

Well having been born and raised for most of my childhood in a city where I was accepted and had friends before my family moved to not one but two small towns (downgrade and downgrade again) and in each one I was treated horribly as if I were a plague carrier..honestly I think small towns are highly over rated.

I currently live in a small town in Wisconsin, my childhood homecity is Austin Texas and I will tell you exactly what to expect if you move to a town up here:

Expect to be stared at, laughed at, and if you dare not look GERMAN in some towns get slurs tossed at you left and right ( got called Black Irish in Burlington WI...and much worse). Also expect the locals to initially find you as a invader, if they ever warm up to you and that is a big IF expect to be merely tolerated and never expect to make close friends because in small towns townies do not like making friends with outsiders (generally, there are exceptions).

If you are single after High School, ride a Bicycle, are a Vegetarian (or different in any way really, even being shorter than usual), and not one with "small town highly conservative cringe worthy values", expect to be treated as a freak and stared at. Also expect to be insulted for your choice, laughed at, and hear certain derogatory words said behind your back; and yes very few women will really want to be your friend because how dare you not help contribute to overpopulation.

Do not expect support in a true sense, if you move there in your primary school years either suck up to the locals (and lose your pride and sense of self) or prepare to be harassed, bullied, isolated, and assaulted mercilessly by everyone. If you have any sort of medical issues and are not native you will be shunned, ridiculed, and treated as if you do not exist.

That's right the inbred local kid with severe genetic issues gets treated with sympathy and caring, but if you have any problems well you are an outsider and they will not give a damn and will beat you down. Especially if you have something like Epilepsy...DO NOT go/move to a small town to live if you or your child has Epilepsy especially very visible epilepsy. You/your child will be treated like a monster and abused by the locals, the local doctors and shrinks will discriminate against you intentionally; and you will have nobody who will risk associating with you because they are convinced that an "outsider with seizures is possessed".

Do not expect to get a job, I mean it you are better off starting up a home business because the locals will always be hired first; it literally does not matter if you are better trained/qualified the locals will be hired over you. I am going 5 years unemployed due to this, my last job was a Coffee Barista in a nearby city and I am properly/classically trained yet I can't get a job at a local coffee shop but the untrained local who doesn't know how to make a proper latte and mixes up milks (which could cause a allergic reaction in a customer) gets the job right away and my application is ignored. I have even seen a application I turned in be thrown into the garbage..in front of me.
I am currently filling out five more applications..I can't afford gas so I have to try to get hired here which is impossible; if that fails I may turn to the option of "last resort" for women..

Small town values are not that great, I have met more Racists, Bigots, Narcissists, and generally close minded and rude people in the small towns I have lived in than in Austin or any city I have visited. And do not get me started on the "good churchgoing folks" they are for the most part anything but good especially the women, ask one a simple question and they go on about "I believe we have routines that excuse us for doing anything, and we all are free to do anything as the lord wishes, and I think for asking a simple question you are off in the head and mean and bigoted and close minded yappity yap". Yup ask a simple question about why people literally drive in circles around said small town for hours, the specific question being why and you get called crazy and close minded while a much larger woman is essentially trying to use her size to intimidate you. Yes expect this, tons of this from everyone..

The local rich people are untouchable, will always marry the local cheerleader sort, and if you criticize them you will be marked for social death. Oh and being born in the small town is everything, if you are not born or married to someone here...you are sort of done for.

Everyone drinks, goes to bars, and repeats the process every night for most of the year. In small towns there is generally nothing to do if you are a young adult or teen, or even a child in some cases. The local community center doesn't even offer classes that cater to young adults, because most young adults in small towns are married with 2.5 kids or more.

Small town people live a secular insular lifestyle, they will not listen to reason for the most part and if you are intelligent and not native the locals will claim you are "not that smart", they are also nosy and in everyone's business..not to mention "small town cooking" is generally so unhealthy especially in the Midwest that many many towns folk are overweight or obese.

The locals will try to convince you you can never leave and your previous area will never want you back, I found out that was a lie on a visit to Daytona Beach last year; literally every state south of Illinois we stopped in felt more like home and the people accepted me you could just feel it. In fact I got 8 offers to work while I was down there, as in I was asked on the spot if I would like to work at 8 locations. O-O
I was also told to head over to a few local comedy clubs because I was good by total strangers, and to look into a few news anchor positions (no joke). I hated having to leave and go back to this small town, where I can't get a callback or interview for 5 years.

Small towns will try to suck your individuality out of you and conform you, If you refuse you will be marked...but on the upside if you are marked there is nothing holding you in the town but financial issues.

Everything closes at 9pm, I mean everything..and on weekends most places may not even be open.

You will never be accepted, people will always look at you with a fake smile or a "ehehe..freak" face and there is literally only one way to survive with your sanity intact.
Become a walking standup comic show, seriously this is the only way to survive; that or live in the gym.

Small towns are very depressing places, in some areas (WI) they are also very racist, filled with bigots, close minded people, very rude twisted people, and quite frankly are toxic enough to cause hair to fall out. They practice technically illegal hiring methods, and once you are in one escaping is very hard to do; but getting out is literally your only way to survive.

In my opinion the concept of the small town is an idealized lie, and even though cities have high crime rates I much prefer them to small towns. In fact I think some small towns should be "returned to the earth", and I am currently saving up to try to move out of this small town and back to my home city of Austin Texas. When I think of small towns (especially in the Midwest) I think of a form of Purgatory/Limbo/A Dark Depressing Black Hole that is coated in superficial charm. Nice to visit but really a living hell to live in if you are not local or of retirement age.
Funny thing perception, I feel pretty much the same about cities.

I won't go point by point, but for someone from the country, it is pretty much a mirror image of what they find when they move to a larger town, the isolation, the fact that people are hired not due to skills but because they are the proper minority, the closed minds that are directly polar opposites of the conservative and traditional values of many country folk, etc.

It also depends on the small town. The town that my family came from had a population of about 6000. In that town was one black family. The father had been a professional wrestler in the 1930's and 40's and had the stage name of King Kong.

I don't know how they ended up in Montana of all places, but he and his wife were very respected members of the community. His daughters went to school with my mother, and my mother has always said how lovely they were, the manners and how well they were accepted because of how they fit in so well.

When the gentleman passed away, nearly the whole town turned out for his funeral. His widow lived there until she passed away, and their daughters left to go to college, married, and came back to raise their children.

This is a state with only a handful, (less than 500) resident black people, so my experience is that in a small town, it is far more dependent on you as an individual than any other factor.

But that is my experience.

I can see houw being very liberal would be isolating in a small town as most countryfolk I know aren't really accepting of that philosophy, just as I had trouble being conservative in a city for the same reasons.

Your post indicates you had the mindset that a small town was bad prior to your moves, and you only looked at things that reinforced your opinions, and it also appears you probably made your feelings known.
People will respond in the same way that they are met, so you probably brought about your own isolation.

Anyway, it sounds like you have no desire to live in a smaller community so I wish you luck on moving to a city.
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Old 06-13-2014, 12:46 PM
 
Location: Where the mountains touch the sky
5,181 posts, read 6,006,557 times
Reputation: 9003
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lodestar View Post
Living in a small town means the front page of the morning paper features the big headlines and a story, complete with photo, of a large tree that fell down yesterday.
Personally, I like the pictures of the cake or cow that won at the county fair
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Old 06-14-2014, 02:41 AM
 
812 posts, read 726,012 times
Reputation: 1000
small town living means , no traffic jams, peace and quiet, less crime, less stress better views , etc
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Old 06-14-2014, 02:13 PM
 
Location: somewhere in the woods
16,884 posts, read 13,240,398 times
Reputation: 5213
I am now a few miles outside of Hulett, Wyoming. population 391. I love the town being small and having to drive 50+ miles to get to any sort of city. my closest neighbor is a bit over 400 yards away and he is pretty nice. he has shown me how to do some things the Wyoming way.
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