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Something else I've noticed is that in EVERY small town people will say, "Oh! The politics/power struggles/big-fish-in-small-pond syndrome/etc. of this town!"
I've lived in(near) over a dozen small towns in six states. Near as I can tell, the above is true in ALL small towns, not just this one.
It's been a long time since I created this thread! I'd like to give an update to add some additional insights I've gained over the last year and a half since I wrote the OP.
I moved from Atlanta to Seattle - a 3000 mile trek that took me from the place where I grew up and all of my friends and family. I moved for work, to take a job at a major software and services company. My girlfriend (originally from Seattle) moved back with me, but other than her, I didn't know anyone here at all. Seattle is so very much different than anywhere else in the US that I've been, including Atlanta. It's like a breath of fresh air.
My problem here is, though, is that now I have to adjust to an entirely new culture with entirely new values. This isn't a bad thing by any means - people grow from being exposed to a wide variety of views and cultures. I'm having to bone up on all of my friend making skills again, and at 25, it isn't necessarily the easiest thing because (as you all know) the older you get, the more difficult it becomes to make new friends because people are becoming entrenched in their own routines and their own social groups. It takes a lot of time and dedication to convince people you're worth their time and that they should spend theirs hanging out with you, especially in a place with a reputation for frostiness and being standoff-ish like Seattle has. Look up the "Seattle Freeze", and you'll see what I mean. A lot of native Seattleites will tell you it doesn't exist, but as a recent transplant (and one from the south to boot), it most definitely does, and it's very hard to work around that to get people to actually meet up with you. It takes time and a lot of persistence, but I'm slowly adjusting (more to the lack of sunlight than anything else) and having a good time!
This seemed like the perfect forum for me to write this up in. I grew up in a rural town called LaGrange, in Georgia. It has about 30,000 people and is very old fashioned and traditional in a lot of ways. Some backstory: I am 23, a college graduate with a year of graduate school under my belt, and currently live in Atlanta working as a software engineer.
Ever since I can remember, I was different from the rest of the people I grew up with. I tended to read a lot, to enjoy spending a lot of time on the computer and playing video games, going to science fiction conventions, things like that. Not usually things that would be associated with rural living. I grew up on a farm, and learned how to take care of horses and other animals, and how to do things like build fences, bush hog fields, fix roofs, you know..the kind of things you'd expect to learn growing up on a farm in the woods in the South.
Like I said, I was never really like the rest of the people I was around. My best friend growing up lived down the road from me, and we worked together a lot during the summers. He was never interested in education, and dropped out of high school and (possibly) got his GED. He now lives in a double wide trailer, got married at 20, and has a four year old daughter. His wife works part time at McDonalds, and he works at a grocery store part time as well. My other friends never seemed to amount to much either. They would get into drugs, get crazy drunk during the week, most have been arrested or put in jail for stupid things. There's a ton of drama surrounding them pretty much all the time.
My dilemma was that I never wanted any of that. I wanted to get out of that small town and make something out of myself. I wanted to be successful with a good, stable career and a family when I get ready to have one instead of something totally unplanned. I was sent to a private school, paid for out of the Social Security money I received every month from my father's death. That kept me out of the public school system and away from a large amount of bad influences. The problem with that was that I was looked at as "uppity" and "arrogant" and "thinks-he's-better-than-you" because I got a decent education and was never arrested.
It got worse when people found out I was going to college. My family was very supportive, of course, but my friends felt the opposite. I wasn't "one of the boys" anymore; I was a jumped up college boy who thinks he's too good for the people he came up with. I was looked at as "abandoning my roots" and "forgetting where I came from".
Another issue came from me being generally a very liberal person in a very conservative area. My friends would display casual racism (towards all minorities) all the time. I didn't like that, but was made fun of for speaking my mind about it. For the record, I'm a left-leaning equality minded person, which is something very rare in a small Southern town. It set me apart from everyone else, but I can't help what I believe. If I believe something is right or wrong, then I do, and shouldn't feel unwelcome because of it.
So I severed contact with the people I grew up with. I didn't feel like I belonged in their world anymore, or that I even belonged in my hometown. I was never comfortable living in LaGrange - there was never anything to do except get into trouble, and I always looked for something bigger and better. I feel that I've always been a city man at heart - I love being around people, and I love the hustle and bustle of big city life. I finally got a job that paid what I wanted, and I moved to where I felt I belonged. I'm around like-minded people and I feel like I am welcome as opposed to being the odd man out.
I haven't set foot back in LaGrange for longer than two days since I moved away in 2008. I've never looked back and never had a desire to move back to that kind of place. I haven't had contact with the people that I knew for 15+ years since then either, with the exception of my childhood best friend. If he's happy, more power to him, but I always wanted something better for myself than living on a part time minimum wage job supporting a wife and kid, trying to figure out whether to pay the power bill or the rent on the double wide trailer.
I don't even know why I wrote this thread, to be honest. It just feels good to have this off my chest, since this is a forum full of small town and country people. I wonder how many people have felt like I did, and what their stories are.
Anyone who would look at you as "too good" is just a hater who wants to keep you down. Those aren't real friends and they're certainly not rooting for your success.
It's been a long time since I created this thread! I'd like to give an update to add some additional insights I've gained over the last year and a half since I wrote the OP.
I moved from Atlanta to Seattle - a 3000 mile trek that took me from the place where I grew up and all of my friends and family. I moved for work, to take a job at a major software and services company. My girlfriend (originally from Seattle) moved back with me, but other than her, I didn't know anyone here at all. Seattle is so very much different than anywhere else in the US that I've been, including Atlanta. It's like a breath of fresh air.
My problem here is, though, is that now I have to adjust to an entirely new culture with entirely new values. This isn't a bad thing by any means - people grow from being exposed to a wide variety of views and cultures. I'm having to bone up on all of my friend making skills again, and at 25, it isn't necessarily the easiest thing because (as you all know) the older you get, the more difficult it becomes to make new friends because people are becoming entrenched in their own routines and their own social groups. It takes a lot of time and dedication to convince people you're worth their time and that they should spend theirs hanging out with you, especially in a place with a reputation for frostiness and being standoff-ish like Seattle has. Look up the "Seattle Freeze", and you'll see what I mean. A lot of native Seattleites will tell you it doesn't exist, but as a recent transplant (and one from the south to boot), it most definitely does, and it's very hard to work around that to get people to actually meet up with you. It takes time and a lot of persistence, but I'm slowly adjusting (more to the lack of sunlight than anything else) and having a good time!
I'm proud of you, that's awesome, congrats on "branching out". You will see that when you look back on this move a few years from now, you will say that this was the 'best thing you ever did'. Well done!
the older you get, the more difficult it becomes to make new friends because people are becoming entrenched in their own routines and their own social groups. It takes a lot of time and dedication to convince people you're worth their time and that they should spend theirs hanging out with you,
No s**t!! Try being in your 50s. You practically have to pay people then......
30,000 is a small town?!?!?
I'm already well beyond the scope of conversation.... lol
In my part of the world, 1000 or fewer is a small town. Thirty-thousand is the "big city" that kids go to when they're dying to leave home!
My town is close to 50,000. Yet, plenty of people find fault with it and wouldn't want to live there, since there isn't enough good places to shop or eat. There not even an enclosed shopping mall. Decent paying jobs are hard to find, especially in one's chosen field. And, of course, the same old problem. There's nothing to do.
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