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Yes, and when we retire, we are so sick and tired of the urban landscape -- the noise, crowds, pollution, crime, traffic -- that we move right back to the small towns and countryside!
Exactly! I was raised in a beach town of 12,000 in California and finished out the last 20n years of my working career in a city of almost 480,000. We couldn't wait to leave and retired in the rural Ozarks where the nearest village has a population of 176 and the nearest town,4,560.
The peace, quiet, and tranquility are worth their weight in gold. No more traffic sounds, gunshots, screaming homeless with can filled shopping carts bumping along the sidewalks and alleys, sirens and ghetto birds.
I never said I was an urban elitist, I'm calling it like I see it. Sure there's wealthy people in rural areas, but there's far more of the stereotype I described.
Stereotypes are rarely clever and ones as pejorative as yours are nothing short of snobbish and ignorant.
We all have our prejudices and stereotypes. I grew up in a few small town. Right now - I prefer the city. Doesn't make me a bad person or better than anyone else.
I live in a small town as well, 3,000 give or take a few, been there most of my life but I grew up in a city of 140,000. In my 50+ years I have found one will find the same different types of people in every small town or big city. There are those who are racist, those who have no ambition, those who are criminals, those who have lofty ambitions, those who are education oriented, etc. etc.
I know a great deal of people in my small town and surrounding area that are educated and making a good living. Some left the area never to return and some stuck around. As well I know those who barely make minimum wage, those sucking off the gov. teat, habitual criminal, etc. Same goes for the people I know that grew up and live in the big city I am from. Some good, some bad, some educated some not, some criminals some successful family men and women.
I find now there are a whole lot of people from big cities mostly in NY, FL, CA, that are transplanting to my state and a good number of them to small rural areas. Many are retired but there are also many younger families with children.
Back in the thirties, my dad abandoned the farm for the Navy. He was sixteen and had his mothers permission. He was never going to be a farmer and his father saw no world but that one. He ended up serving 22 years, through Korea, and went into Aerospace. He was one of those engineers who helped us go to the moon.
He took the family back to visit in the late fifties, and couldn't take at attitude. This was rural Alabama and he didn't like the racial feelings either. He said he'd not come back until there had been some change and didn't actually go back for some thirty years.
I have to think my dad was one of those special ones who knew what they want and did it since he had to fight for his choices. He had a meaningful life because he didn't accept things as all there was.
But then, he'd be really surprised I chose to move to a small town in Oklahoma. But the people who move to rural and small town areas now have entirely different motivations. I grew up in the LA suburbs of the fifties and sixties. They were safe and green and full of families who wanted a peaceful place to raise the kids. They usually had one car and paid it off. They took one vacation. They spent weekends mostly at home or with family. They didn't have multiple cars and weren't in a hurry and just wanted a comfortable place to live.
It's not like that now and I suspect the children of those who fled the farm who've retired back into smaller and simpler and cheaper are getting closer to the roots in the early suburbs and in a sense returning to the roots their parents gave them.
This seemed like the perfect forum for me to write this up in. I grew up in a rural town called LaGrange, in Georgia. It has about 30,000 people and is very old fashioned and traditional in a lot of ways. Some backstory: I am 23, a college graduate with a year of graduate school under my belt, and currently live in Atlanta working as a software engineer.
Ever since I can remember, I was different from the rest of the people I grew up with. I tended to read a lot, to enjoy spending a lot of time on the computer and playing video games, going to science fiction conventions, things like that. Not usually things that would be associated with rural living. I grew up on a farm, and learned how to take care of horses and other animals, and how to do things like build fences, bush hog fields, fix roofs, you know..the kind of things you'd expect to learn growing up on a farm in the woods in the South.
Like I said, I was never really like the rest of the people I was around. My best friend growing up lived down the road from me, and we worked together a lot during the summers. He was never interested in education, and dropped out of high school and (possibly) got his GED. He now lives in a double wide trailer, got married at 20, and has a four year old daughter. His wife works part time at McDonalds, and he works at a grocery store part time as well. My other friends never seemed to amount to much either. They would get into drugs, get crazy drunk during the week, most have been arrested or put in jail for stupid things. There's a ton of drama surrounding them pretty much all the time.
My dilemma was that I never wanted any of that. I wanted to get out of that small town and make something out of myself. I wanted to be successful with a good, stable career and a family when I get ready to have one instead of something totally unplanned. I was sent to a private school, paid for out of the Social Security money I received every month from my father's death. That kept me out of the public school system and away from a large amount of bad influences. The problem with that was that I was looked at as "uppity" and "arrogant" and "thinks-he's-better-than-you" because I got a decent education and was never arrested.
It got worse when people found out I was going to college. My family was very supportive, of course, but my friends felt the opposite. I wasn't "one of the boys" anymore; I was a jumped up college boy who thinks he's too good for the people he came up with. I was looked at as "abandoning my roots" and "forgetting where I came from".
Another issue came from me being generally a very liberal person in a very conservative area. My friends would display casual racism (towards all minorities) all the time. I didn't like that, but was made fun of for speaking my mind about it. For the record, I'm a left-leaning equality minded person, which is something very rare in a small Southern town. It set me apart from everyone else, but I can't help what I believe. If I believe something is right or wrong, then I do, and shouldn't feel unwelcome because of it.
So I severed contact with the people I grew up with. I didn't feel like I belonged in their world anymore, or that I even belonged in my hometown. I was never comfortable living in LaGrange - there was never anything to do except get into trouble, and I always looked for something bigger and better. I feel that I've always been a city man at heart - I love being around people, and I love the hustle and bustle of big city life. I finally got a job that paid what I wanted, and I moved to where I felt I belonged. I'm around like-minded people and I feel like I am welcome as opposed to being the odd man out.
I haven't set foot back in LaGrange for longer than two days since I moved away in 2008. I've never looked back and never had a desire to move back to that kind of place. I haven't had contact with the people that I knew for 15+ years since then either, with the exception of my childhood best friend. If he's happy, more power to him, but I always wanted something better for myself than living on a part time minimum wage job supporting a wife and kid, trying to figure out whether to pay the power bill or the rent on the double wide trailer.
I grew up in an even smaller town 20 years earlier.
My nickname was "Brain" and I got picked on for being a nerd on an off but not too much because I was a fairly tough kid and would f*ck up most people that messed with me so word got around. Plus I wrestled and that both helped me f*ck people up and the wrestlers generally had my back.
However, my buddy from Philly had more racist friends than I ever had so don't fool yourself that it's a small town thing or conservative vs. liberal. His friends are straight ticket union dems that drop n-bombs left and right.
I've been back home since age 18 very little. I had to leave for work, but frankly....I think I could live in my hometown quite nicely, there are a lot of well educated people I could network into there.
So, you haven't asked a question, you've just made a statement.
My only remaining commentary is that you should not let your small town experience jade you into thinking that big cities are all hunky-dory friendly and small towns are just inbred morons. I've actually seen the opposite, it just depends on what part of the country you are talking about and what part of the cities etc.
Best of luck. Life is basically about being happy. I've not seen any of my college roomates in almost 20 years (as an example) and I rarely see anyone back home other than family since I live far away.
What you have experienced is not some abnormal epiphany. Happens all the time.
OP my hat is off to you. You wanted to better yourself. As far as the people that thought you were "arrogant" or "uppity" or "better than everyone," f*ck them! For one, there's nothing wrong with being that way, two; they're jealous, three; those people just lack confidence. I have seen these mentality in rural areas. I call it the "backwoods" mentality. Red-neck hick, , narrow-minded, racist, bigoted, arch-conservative mentality. These people grow up poor and feel so should everyone else. These people talk about "the good lord" yet hate blacks, Hispanics, other immigrants, gays, atheists, or anybody even the slightest bit different from them yet while claiming to be "Christian." Those that vote, vote strictly based on gun rights. You can find them spending their sunday afternoons watching NASCAR while smoking cigarettes and drinking beer. They sport jean jackets and/or stone-washed jeans while listening to country music or listening to 80's hair bands on cassette tape. Hopefully I'm painting a good picture for all of you. Their priority is everyone else's business and when's the local fair/carnival. Their diets are horrible too because it consists of mostly cheap sh*t processed food. As far as the married 20 year old with kids living in a double wide, well that's the norm for a lot of people in rural areas.
There's a reason why people live in urban areas, OPTIONS!!! Cities have options. Options for jobs, housing, shopping, restaurants, gyms, you name it. I like options. I'm considering a move at this moment to a bigger area for a better job.
I don't feel sorry for people that are poor because they refuse to move for something better.
OP, good for you. You bettered yourself. I know a lot of wealthy people. Yes, some are in the "lucky sperm club" and were born into money. Some are self-made. The ones that are self made didn't there by looking for a "hand-out." I'm not wealthy, I made 42k last year, the median income. While I doubt I'll ever own a yacht, I refuse to be poor. Sometimes you gotta get out of your comfort zone. Often, this means moving. I'll end it with a line from The Wolfe of Wall St., (which I highly recommend), "there's no nobility in poverty."
You obviously don't get out of the city much if this is the way you think rural America is. I live in a quaint New England town with about 5000 people. I live in a beautiful colonial surrounded by conservation land in a very nice neighborhood (over 10k in taxes...). The schools are far better than what we had living near the city and the kids get a much better appreciation for life. We don't sit around with a mouthful of chewing tobacco drinking moonshine while watching NASCAR. We are out hiking, skiing, snowmobiling, swimming at the lake, riding bikes around the neighborhood and trails. My wife and I would not be able to afford what we have if we worked in the town we live in, and yes we do have a little commute but so do most in our town. The percentage of people you described is very small in my opinion. I have friends that live in NYC and absolutely love it...I go there and see an overcrowded cesspool and cant wait to leave. Yes cities have options but the quality of life in rural America far outweighs the need for more options as I have learned now that I have children.
Well young man, everyone has to make their way in this world, hold on to your VALUES and always be TRUE to yourself, one day, you'll have a family of your own who loves you, needs you, and supports you, you'll need to be strong and show Leadership skills, you'll teach you're kids right from wrong, you'll make a habit of telling your wife, I love you, and then, you'll truly be blessed. Who knows? one day, you might even find the Quite Place and some space to raise your kids, and love your family. Good luck, stay well..
This seemed like the perfect forum for me to write this up in. I grew up in a rural town called LaGrange, in Georgia. It has about 30,000 people and is very old fashioned and traditional in a lot of ways. Some backstory: I am 23, a college graduate with a year of graduate school under my belt, and currently live in Atlanta working as a software engineer.
Ever since I can remember, I was different from the rest of the people I grew up with. I tended to read a lot, to enjoy spending a lot of time on the computer and playing video games, going to science fiction conventions, things like that. Not usually things that would be associated with rural living. I grew up on a farm, and learned how to take care of horses and other animals, and how to do things like build fences, bush hog fields, fix roofs, you know..the kind of things you'd expect to learn growing up on a farm in the woods in the South.
Like I said, I was never really like the rest of the people I was around. My best friend growing up lived down the road from me, and we worked together a lot during the summers. He was never interested in education, and dropped out of high school and (possibly) got his GED. He now lives in a double wide trailer, got married at 20, and has a four year old daughter. His wife works part time at McDonalds, and he works at a grocery store part time as well. My other friends never seemed to amount to much either. They would get into drugs, get crazy drunk during the week, most have been arrested or put in jail for stupid things. There's a ton of drama surrounding them pretty much all the time.
My dilemma was that I never wanted any of that. I wanted to get out of that small town and make something out of myself. I wanted to be successful with a good, stable career and a family when I get ready to have one instead of something totally unplanned. I was sent to a private school, paid for out of the Social Security money I received every month from my father's death. That kept me out of the public school system and away from a large amount of bad influences. The problem with that was that I was looked at as "uppity" and "arrogant" and "thinks-he's-better-than-you" because I got a decent education and was never arrested.
It got worse when people found out I was going to college. My family was very supportive, of course, but my friends felt the opposite. I wasn't "one of the boys" anymore; I was a jumped up college boy who thinks he's too good for the people he came up with. I was looked at as "abandoning my roots" and "forgetting where I came from".
Another issue came from me being generally a very liberal person in a very conservative area. My friends would display casual racism (towards all minorities) all the time. I didn't like that, but was made fun of for speaking my mind about it. For the record, I'm a left-leaning equality minded person, which is something very rare in a small Southern town. It set me apart from everyone else, but I can't help what I believe. If I believe something is right or wrong, then I do, and shouldn't feel unwelcome because of it.
So I severed contact with the people I grew up with. I didn't feel like I belonged in their world anymore, or that I even belonged in my hometown. I was never comfortable living in LaGrange - there was never anything to do except get into trouble, and I always looked for something bigger and better. I feel that I've always been a city man at heart - I love being around people, and I love the hustle and bustle of big city life. I finally got a job that paid what I wanted, and I moved to where I felt I belonged. I'm around like-minded people and I feel like I am welcome as opposed to being the odd man out.
I haven't set foot back in LaGrange for longer than two days since I moved away in 2008. I've never looked back and never had a desire to move back to that kind of place. I haven't had contact with the people that I knew for 15+ years since then either, with the exception of my childhood best friend. If he's happy, more power to him, but I always wanted something better for myself than living on a part time minimum wage job supporting a wife and kid, trying to figure out whether to pay the power bill or the rent on the double wide trailer.
You are indeed a rare breed of person considering where you came from. I applaud your will power and diligence, for it those two things that got you out of there and to where you are today. Isn't it strange that people will tend to accept their life and adopt the idea that this is who they are, where they came from, and thats the way its going to be, and theres no way to change it?
I call it a generational curse, for the father who worked the grounds his whole life did so because of his lack of education and knowledge to do better, and so his sons and daughters shall also spend their lives doing the same.
What you explained in your post pretty much sums up everyone my age in my family. I'm an only child, but both of my parents have 4 siblings each, each of which has 4 kids, so theres 16 cousins of mine. Not ONE of them is doing anything differently now than what they were doing 5 years ago. They just live life day by day, not worrying about tomorrow. The idea about money to them is that it comes and goes, "this month I might have enough to pay my bills and buy food, gas but next month I dont know" Isn't it absolutely ridiculous to live like that? I take pride in the fact that the only money I have to worry about is if I have that extra 3 thousand for my vacation this summer...not basic incidentals...sheesh! I got myself here!
I have tried and tried to get a few of my cousins to enter the trades to either become an electrician apprentice, iron worker, pipe fitters...nope! Too long to wait for good money, they want instant gratification. The idea of working up the ladder in life has no appeal to them, they want it now not later are willing to live in poverty forever for a few minutes of gratification here and there.
You are indeed a rare breed of person considering where you came from. I applaud your will power and diligence, for it those two things that got you out of there and to where you are today. Isn't it strange that people will tend to accept their life and adopt the idea that this is who they are, where they came from, and thats the way its going to be, and theres no way to change it?
I call it a generational curse, for the father who worked the grounds his whole life did so because of his lack of education and knowledge to do better, and so his sons and daughters shall also spend their lives doing the same.
What you explained in your post pretty much sums up everyone my age in my family. I'm an only child, but both of my parents have 4 siblings each, each of which has 4 kids, so theres 16 cousins of mine. Not ONE of them is doing anything differently now than what they were doing 5 years ago. They just live life day by day, not worrying about tomorrow. The idea about money to them is that it comes and goes, "this month I might have enough to pay my bills and buy food, gas but next month I dont know" Isn't it absolutely ridiculous to live like that? I take pride in the fact that the only money I have to worry about is if I have that extra 3 thousand for my vacation this summer...not basic incidentals...sheesh! I got myself here!
I have tried and tried to get a few of my cousins to enter the trades to either become an electrician apprentice, iron worker, pipe fitters...nope! Too long to wait for good money, they want instant gratification. The idea of working up the ladder in life has no appeal to them, they want it now not later are willing to live in poverty forever for a few minutes of gratification here and there.
yes, and a perfect example as to why this has to change....this affects all cultures....and it's sad, we should as a society be further along, but in the stead, we have regressed.
It's bizarre this would be a copy of a previous post.
We also live in a small town in Georgia. It's much smaller than LaGrange. We know loads of educated people here. I have one child going into biomedical engineering next year and another will start mech engineering the year after. My hubs is an engineer also. Living in a small town hasn't hindered us in any way.
I have lived in very large cities, medium sized cities, very small towns and in 3 countries.
The OP's growing up situation described here sounds like more like a result of family dynamics and choice of friends than the fact he didn't grow up in a major metropolis.
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