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You know something? You have no clue as to what I've experienced do you yet you pass judgment based upon not having these experiences yourself.
What do you expect? You've been pretty unforthcoming about the details. All any of us have to go by is what you've provided, and what you've provided is pretty sketchy.
I'm fairly introverted and adhere to some pretty traditional values myself, but have never experienced any issues such as you describe in my 48 year living in the rural Midwest.
Bottom line, there's got to be more to the story. If you're not willing to fill in the blanks, don't get upset when someone makes an observation based on the limited information you've provided.
What do you expect? You've been pretty unforthcoming about the details. All any of us have to go by is what you've provided, and what you've provided is pretty sketchy.
I'm fairly introverted and adhere to some pretty traditional values myself, but have never experienced any issues such as you describe in my 48 year living in the rural Midwest.
Bottom line, there's got to be more to the story. If you're not willing to fill in the blanks, don't get upset when someone makes an observation based on the limited information you've provided.
I'm originally from Connecticut. When I read something saying they had bad experiences there I am not very quick to jump all over them in a defensive posture. I've lived in enough places to know that each area is different and the personality and values one person has might be fine in some places while in others it is not accepted.
This is a public forum and I am not going to post too much info. The bottom line is this. I mind my own business and yet I have jerks and creeps starting rumors (blatant lies) and others harassing or threatening me in most of the cities of the Midwest. It does not happen in most of the small towns or when I lived in the Northeast or visited the South or West.
IMO Sounds more like your choice of "trashy" neighborhood, then a regional cultural norm.
Yeah, that may be the case. When I lived in Omaha for example I didn't have any issues that I recall. And this is also true for a couple of the places where I lived in Minnesota. Half the places in the KC area have been OK but the other half not. Will be doing better research from this point forward.
So, wait...some random car-driving stranger cut you off on the highway, and your takeaway is that he targeted you because he is a conformist sheep, while you are an independent person with traditional values?
That's how it sounded to me. Which leads one to wonder how on earth a random car-driving stranger would know to resent the OP because of his "independence"? Seems like a stretch (or projecting) to me.
OP, if you're having all of these experiences with a wide range of people, and others are NOT having these problems in the same region, if you're truly looking for the source of the problem and not just stirring the pot, you might want to look at the common denominator. Which would be you.
That's how it sounded to me. Which leads one to wonder how on earth a random car-driving stranger would know to resent the OP because of his "independence"? Seems like a stretch (or projecting) to me.
OP, if you're having all of these experiences with a wide range of people, and others are NOT having these problems in the same region, if you're truly looking for the source of the problem and not just stirring the pot, you might want to look at the common denominator. Which would be you.
Yes, others are. My brother for one and a woman that I was acquainted with from PA had similar experiences. And a friend from the South had the same kind of issues in the Midwest for years. Now he and his wife live in the Pacific NW. No more issues like this.
Okay, you're talking about some different things here. Part of it is a cultural difference regarding what's regarded as normal friendliness (we see that in Texas a lot when people move down here and get bent out of shape because there is conversation going on in the checkout line or think because people are actively friendly they're being fake, and people from the Northeast seem to have a harder time adjusting to this cultural difference).
LOL, it is funny that you mentioned this. I moved to a small city in the southern Plains after living for decades in cities in the West. I still think it is rude the way complete strangers will try to chat you up while you are waiting in line or just out in public doing stuff. The first few weeks I thought that I was dealing with mental illness like the homeless people that talk to anyone that will listen or that they were confusing me with someone they knew. It seems incredibly rude to me to approach someone you don't know and attempt to start a conversation. I will also never be able to understand why some people feel it is necessary to make direct eye contact and say something to me while I am just trying to walk past them on a sidewalk, that to me is an inherently hostile act and always makes me check for my wallet and watch my back.
I have also noticed that way too many people think they have a duty to give you their opinion or share unsolicited advice with someone they don't even know. I know the people mean no offense and in their minds are just being friendly, but I really wish they would learn to just mind their own business.
LOL, it is funny that you mentioned this. I moved to a small city in the southern Plains after living for decades in cities in the West. I still think it is rude the way complete strangers will try to chat you up while you are waiting in line or just out in public doing stuff. The first few weeks I thought that I was dealing with mental illness like the homeless people that talk to anyone that will listen or that they were confusing me with someone they knew. It seems incredibly rude to me to approach someone you don't know and attempt to start a conversation. I will also never be able to understand why some people feel it is necessary to make direct eye contact and say something to me while I am just trying to walk past them on a sidewalk, that to me is an inherently hostile act and always makes me check for my wallet and watch my back.
I have also noticed that way too many people think they have a duty to give you their opinion or share unsolicited advice with someone they don't even know. I know the people mean no offense and in their minds are just being friendly, but I really wish they would learn to just mind their own business.
It really is different based on region. I grew up in the Northeast and of course there wasn't any chatting up by strangers while waiting in lines or just out in public. I remember my father taking a job down in the South and we were amazed the first time we went out to get groceries and a woman in front of us in line just started chatting away with us. We figured that she was just lonely or bored waiting in line. We soon found out differently when people all over started to say "hello" on the streets or just talk to us in public. When I moved up the Midwest, people were still pretty friendly and would usually nod on the street in greeting. We moved back to the South for my career for about 8 years. I am back up in the North now and it actually feels kind of strange to NOT have people smile or nod when you pass them on the street.
I might be a special case since my mother is from the Northeast but my dad is originally from Iowa--so I am part Midwestern
I'm moving to INDIANA for two reasons:
I need super low COL
AND
I am driven to madness by the "friendliness" of Southern culture. Everything posters listed above and a ton of it, is ubiquitous in the Godforsaken South. I have NO desire to engage in small talk I HATE hate hate it. Small talk with strangers sold as "friendliness" I just do not get.
Good manners, yes. I am all for those and practice them, and am always civil and polite but all the inane small talk... is just so STUPID.
I thought Midwest culture was more reserved. This thread has me wondering.
I would be a perfect New Englander but cannot afford to live there.
Curious to know if the socio economic levels of those the OP is encountering is consistent across the geographies for the job and the contrast to those OP has encountered in stated regions where OP doesn't have problems?
I'm surmising the OP is in a low barrier to entry field job for some company that brings OP into contact with a larger percentage of the lower end of socio economic spectrum i.e. greater number of renters, higher number of less educated, less mannered, less emotionally intelligent, in general, which is creating the impression. [Jerry Springer guests / fans makes me believe this is so]
Also, gathering from OPs comments, that OP has a limited number of real life experience with diverse socio economic groups, thus, 'perception base' of behaviors is sort of like first gaze into the lower realms of humanity. Having worked with diverse levels of socio-economic spectrum I'm surmising that is influencing a large part of it.
Some of the 'behavioral' things OP mentions are all over the place. Is groping 'touchy feely' or misinterpreted socio-cultural difference, say, a non threatening collegial hand on arm or shoulder? Is the perceived 'death threat' from a passing automobile truly targeted at OP, or a bunch of rowdy drunk a**holes braggadocio? It's difficult to understand the full context of the perceptions, but I'll add my experience from a few early jobs in my career.
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