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I would never move to another town of only 200 people.
It's very hard to get inside of a town that small. My mother's hometown is like this. Even descendants of people born there are outsiders. People that live there think "outsiders" are stupid and have no idea how things work, an attitude that is childish and laughable but it is firmly ingrained like religion. If I ever moved there to help care for my mother I'd have to bring my library with me.
The 5000 population town should be fine. It was good to read that you are introverts and non-joiners because I had an extroverted boss that moved to Portland, ME only to move back to AK after his two years were up. He said the town was very unwelcoming to new transplants but though an entertaining guy he comes on a bit strong. He'd have done better in NYC or somewhere like that. Personally I think I would like New England very much but I couldn't convince my warmth loving DH to go with me.
Tiny towns are frightening little pods of weirdness. The tiny mountain town I moved to in WA had a family that was considered the local royalty. Why? They owned the grocery store and a couple of rental houses. The grocery store was barely big enough to turn around in - literally. Maybe 500 square feet. And it flooded every year because it was next to a creek that flooded every year, along with their family home which was behind the store.
But, these folk were considered the kings and queens of Bum Stuff, WA. Their children felt superior to the other kids at the school. They were deferred to, and it was considered a real coup if those kids liked you (if you were also a kid growing up there).
Same for the folk who owned the town cafe, which was pretty much the only cafe in town, and again, about 1000 square feet, including the back storage area. Oh yeah, and the guy who owned the gas station next to the cafe who rented the cafe out to the cafe owner.
Oh, and one of the dairy farmers in town was looked up to as if he was really wealthy.
Success is obviously very relative. But, in these small towns, those families were there for generations and considered royalty of that town. They don't want anyone coming to town who makes them feel stupid or less rich or important. And the rest of the town, or most of it, is going to be loyal to them, because you are a "nobody" who might move away anyway.
It's the weirdest dysfunctional "family" you have ever encountered. From an "outsider's" point of view.
There might be these types of people in my town of 5,000, and maybe that becomes apparent if you have kids in the school system here, but I don't. And otherwise, the town is big enough, I haven't encountered anything like that. People don't know who I am or care, as far as the small town hierarchy type of thing anyway.
Don't by up farm acreage outside of town and plop a big, gaudy McMansion on it. Have a little respect for the rural surroundings, please. We have several such garish Beverly Hillbillies Mansion homes marring our beautiful rural countryside built by people who relocated from big cities for the "country" life. Then they walk around town commenting that they wish we had a "Whole Foods" or a "Publix" in town....spare us.
Don't by up farm acreage outside of town and plop a big, gaudy McMansion on it. Have a little respect for the rural surroundings, please. We have several such garish Beverly Hillbillies Mansion homes marring our beautiful rural countryside built by people who relocated from big cities for the "country" life. Then they walk around town commenting that they wish we had a "Whole Foods" or a "Publix" in town....spare us.
No problem. We will either buy an existing home or. if we build one, it will be about a 1700-1800 sq. ft. single story (and we are big fans of traditional New England-style architecture).
No problem. We will either buy an existing home or. if we build one, it will be about a 1700-1800 sq. ft. single story (and we are big fans of traditional New England-style architecture).
Mine to be is about 2000 ft, single with a loft, garage, bedrooms on either side of a great room.
Sorta of like Yosemite Sam's place in "The Fair-Haired Hare".
If you find that the community is 99 percent white, don't launch into righteous indignation that there is no "multiculturalism" or no "diversity", and don't complain and scold the locals about it. They may like it that way and don't want you to be their "social consience". Unfair, maybe, but it is what it is and if it's been that way a long time, the locals don't want it to change. And if you hear some "racist" or "xenophobic" talk (in an area like mine, it's pretty common)...DON'T fly off the handle and make judgmental comments. I've seen this happen with "transplants" and it's the fastest way to make the locals not like/accept you. Again, they don't want you to be their "social conscience" .
Don't moan if the local school district doesn't make a big deal of or even acknowledge MLK Day (mine doesn't...it's identified as a teachers' in-service day where staff has to report, but the students are off). You'll find that there are actually people who never liked MLK, don't know who he was, or simply don't care. My kids' former city school had month-long celebrations and major class projects devoted to him, but here...nothing.
Don't moan that there is no Indian, Thai or Ethiopian cuisine. Or no vegan offerings at the local diner. They'll look at you funny.
If you are vegan/animal-rights/anti-gun, don't complain about the hunting culture. My next-door neighbor has a nice side business butchering deer in his garage. Some days it stinks like a rendering plant...but we don't complain. He's a very nice guy.
I've lived in my small town for 20 years...the only major mistake I made at first was telling people I was agnostic when I was asked my "faith" or given invitations to attend/join church or send my kids to Sunday school. Small towns set a big store by religion. If you are not a believer, keep it to yourself.
Last edited by Mrs. Skeffington; 01-12-2016 at 03:29 AM..
I've lived in my small town for 20 years...the only major mistake I made at first was telling people I was agnostic when I was asked my "faith" or given invitations to attend/join church or send my kids to Sunday school. Small towns set a big store by religion. If you are not a believer, keep it to yourself.
Knowing what you know now, how would you handle those questions? Were you able to overcome your "mistake" and if so, how? I'll be moving to a smaller city when I retire, and I wonder about this very issue.
Reading this thread all I learned is that people in small, rural towns are very touchy feely and get offended easily . Can't to this, can't do that, don't say this don't think that (aloud). Jeesus!
Nah, just kidding!
I think being absent from Church on Sunday may be a strike against you in many little towns. I know it was in the last one we lived in.
My policy is - be who you are and live the way you want. You can't make people happy anyways. Obviously, don't openly involve in gossip, don't argue with people for no reason whatsoever, don't try to force your political, religious, societal and other beliefs on people, do not be condescending to anyone just because you are coming from a city and they are country folk. Do be prepared to get ripped off a couple of times by various "service people" as newcomers from town (usually perceived to be flush with money) are easy pickings for the locals - you need to prove to people you are there to stay and you are there for the right reasons.
Do not buy into the whole "don't build this, don't do that with your land thing". Build what you want and do what you want with your land - after all, someone sold it to you and you earned the money anyways. If someone local sold you the land, obviously the local person didn't care for the land and what would happen to it and they have been there much longer than you. After all, many a rural area around this country is covered in smelly chicken broilers that pollute the water and the environment, for example - it is usually the locals that get into these arrangements with the "chicken companies". Some time, a "local" dumps trash on someone else's property without asking. If you openly confront them - you may have yourself a nasty, prolonged argument and many times the locals doing this can be sneaky.
Make sure you understand the economy of the area - are the folks long time ranchers and farmers? In that case, forget what I said above about chicken broilers and dumping trash on your property.
However, if the area is extremely poor, lots of dilapidated mobile homes littering the landscape etc. - beware.
So on and so on - many locals are not all "flowers" you know, just people like any other people living everywhere else, with all their virtues and faults.
Don't try to be fake by going out of your way to fit in - if it is meant to be, it is meant to be. If not, enjoy your surroundings and make yourself at home on YOUR land.
I was never the one to try and fit in or beg for acceptance. I figure, those who know me - know I am a good person, respectful and quiet. I also realized I had much more morals than a few of them Church going folk in a small town - learned that the first day I got ripped off for work on a septic tank in the small town we moved to - the guy who "done it" was a big "believer" and active in the local church.
If they don't want to know me just because I am from somewhere else - well, that says much more about them than it does about me
No problem. We will either buy an existing home or. if we build one, it will be about a 1700-1800 sq. ft. single story (and we are big fans of traditional New England-style architecture).
Your real estate purchase will "introduce" you to your new town because everyone will know how much you spent. Some people will be happy if you increased property values and others will think you are rich if you paid more than they could afford because they inherited theirs and could not get a loan from the bank if they needed to. Also if you pay cash you will be considered rich. Anything you say to your realtor will get passed along so control yourself, they might be related to half the town and will tell the other half at the coffee shop what you said.
I come from a 1200 pop. town, born there but parents moved when I was 6 and I came back at 21 to stay (spent summers there during childhood). Even with generations of grandparents and cousins in the town it was a closed society. Husband and I went to a YMCA dinner and people only spoke to people they knew (not us), it was weird and we never did that again.
True story: we went out to eat one night and 2 guys at the next table were belly-aching about cost of water meters being mandated by city council. "Betcha the mayor will be the last one installed". Since the mayor lived on our street I mentioned it when I saw him the next day. 2 days after that there was a photo in the paper of mayor having his water meter installed. Haha.
When you go to the movies (even if it's in the next town) NEVER gossip. Only talk about the weather or say something you DO want passed along, because it will be repeated.
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. Can't to this, can't do that, don't say this don't think that (aloud). Jeesus!
