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Rarely is anonymity mentioned as a plus for city living but it really is. People move to the country because it's quiet but the reality is unless you've retired to become a hermit other than street noise moving to the country is far less quiet. I went 20 years not knowing who lived 2 doors down from me. I didn't care. They didn't care ect. I was friendly with the next door neighbor because I had to see her. Her house however would block the next one and never did I really consider who lived there. Now that I've moved somewhere where houses are far apart I have neighbors coming to the door inviting us to do things ect. I thought I could handle the social commitments of living in a rural / small town area but I am really struggling with it. My new job requires me to be in many social situations too since everything here is basically a social situation. I believe people should be friends because of common interests not location. Just because you live close doesn't mean we have to be friends ect.
I did think about these things prior to moving but the fact is nothing can prepare you for it until you are actually living it.
There's a difference in being friends and being friendly. Once upon a time, in the rural areas of long ago, people depended on their neighbors. There weren't as many and not as close to each to other, as they are today.
I think making eye contact during a conversation or just saying hello is being polite. Its the glaring stare in silence from some people for no reason is what I have encountered from most rural areas.
I was raised to be polite to meet new people, not start off with an attitude.
I think making eye contact during a conversation or just saying hello is being polite. Its the glaring stare in silence from some people for no reason is what I have encountered from most rural areas.
I was raised to be polite to meet new people, not start off with an attitude.
I've never encountered what you describe. However, I'm friendly to people.
Why not greet him with a smile and a brief look in the eye?
Own your space and control the duration of the interaction
by initiating, and, with his permission, ending it.
Sounds a little bit like you are permitting him to
intimidate you, which is just what he wants.
Ignoring hi or pretending not to see him in the
grocery store is not cool at all. As long as you
act normal, if he doesn't, that's his problem.
Sometimes guys like that stay in their positions
forever. Onr reason for that is that they tend to
drive off anyone who might end up with their job.
So I recently moved to a town of 20k from a city that has over 3 million in the metro area. Everyone here is really nice and if I were to see them at the grocery store I'd at least acknowledge them with a quick hello, my supervisor being the exception. He's a real condescending prick and I admit that the other employees under his supervision get worse treatment then I do so maybe I'm being a tad sensitive. I just don't ever want to see him anywhere outside of work and if I do I really don't want to even acknowledge him.
Now in a city of over 3 million the odds of this being an issue would be....well... 1:3E6 I guess. But since this is a small town it's been a minor worry for me to the extent that I just avoid eye contact with people when I'm out. Does anyone else do this or experience this?
Not me. Personally, I walk with my head up everywhere I go. If I make eye contact I just give a nod a smile and a howdy. Sometimes it's returned, sometimes not. No sweat off me either way.
Not me. Personally, I walk with my head up everywhere I go. If I make eye contact I just give a nod a smile and a howdy. Sometimes it's returned, sometimes not. No sweat off me either way.
Good way to approach it.
The only time I find avoidance of eye contact disturbing is when a large percentage of the people go about in avoidance mode, as in normal life, not isolated situations. I have ONLY seen this as default general mode in cities. Never in a rural area.
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