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Find a local brewpub. Go there every day at the same time for a year. You will make friends. Not everyone who "hangs out" in a brewpub is a barfly.
Might be just a tiny little bit of judgment when you approach people. Could be the problem.
You're making a leap with the judgement comment. I know not everyone who goes to bars are barflies. But if I want to avoid them it makes sense to stay out of the bar doesn't it? As I said earlier, going to a bar (and brewpub) by yourself just seems sad. I really can't bring myself to go to an establishment like that by myself. Not to mention I don't want to spend that much money on alcohol. I'm willing to try most of the other things suggested.
You're making a leap with the judgement comment. I know not everyone who goes to bars are barflies. But if I want to avoid them it makes sense to stay out of the bar doesn't it? As I said earlier, going to a bar (and brewpub) by yourself just seems sad. I really can't bring myself to go to an establishment like that by myself. Not to mention I don't want to spend that much money on alcohol. I'm willing to try most of the other things suggested.
Get a part time job as a bar tender. Then you'll meet lots and lots of people! Though, mostly drunk or tipsy, and telling you all about their problems.
Get a part time job as a bar tender. Then you'll meet lots and lots of people! Though, mostly drunk or tipsy, and telling you all about their problems.
Tempting but my one full time job keeps me busy enough.
I'm 35 and single and live in a smallish town and have found it hard to meet new people. What do you all recommend? I've been looking into community groups but haven't had too much luck with that. And please don't say church. My church is mostly old biddies.
Check the local events calendar. Also, looks within you to the things you like to do or would like to do. Join those groups.
In our little town, there was a pretty active art scene. Though I wasn't really into that, I went on the monthly "art walks" and met a lot of people; some became friends. Also events at the local book store--I met a long-time friend.
I don't have a dog now, but I approach people with interesting dogs and that starts a conversation.
One local brew-pub had a twice-weekly karaoke scene with lots of regulars. I went as a supporter, not a singer and met lots of really nice people there. No drinking necessary. Many of them didn't even drink. Get a burger or something. They really appreciate the "support" and its entertaining.
I find that if you put yourself in the same spot regularly, people "have an excuse" to talk to you because they see you so often. I used to sit at the same spot on the jetty daily and read for a couple hours, met some people that way.
In our little town, there was a pretty active art scene. Though I wasn't really into that, I went on the monthly "art walks" and met a lot of people; some became friends. Also events at the local book store--I met a long-time friend.
I don't have a dog now, but I approach people with interesting dogs and that starts a conversation.
One local brew-pub had a twice-weekly karaoke scene with lots of regulars. I went as a supporter, not a singer and met lots of really nice people there. No drinking necessary. Many of them didn't even drink. Get a burger or something. They really appreciate the "support" and its entertaining.
I find that if you put yourself in the same spot regularly, people "have an excuse" to talk to you because they see you so often. I used to sit at the same spot on the jetty daily and read for a couple hours, met some people that way.
I wish we had art walks here. Those look fun. What's a jetty?
A jetty is if I recall a bunch of rocks that jut out into a lake ,bay or the ocean. Me,I work two jobs, so because of the crazy schedule with the second job never can really seem to get to do anything.If someone doesn't show up for work,they call you to come if they know its your day off.Work weekends too so no group fun for me. If there is a library in town see what classes or groups you might join up with. If you enjoy fishing,hiking or hunting, go to some local diner. Ask any old guys hanging around if they know how much a fishing license is, that your looking for places to go that are ripe for the picking.I think you get the idea.
After moving to a small town in 2007 I found the place to be no better or worse, when attempting to meet people than any larger city in my memory. It's obvious that today's social scene is waning. Electronic media and the hangover from one of our worst recessions in history simply made going out a much lesser desireable thing. Working was always the connector to people in my life, in retirement I've found a real shortage of new people to befriend. Volunteering is a great way to meet people though, and I was becoming active in the few social clubs left in rural America, most small towns do have one though.
Going to the local bar was a good way to meet and greet the locals, many who were there to simply commune with other like minded folks who weren't married to their TV. Conversation was congenial and welcoming for an evening of just being laid back enjoying some good conversation and--a local brewski, or two..
I was thinking today why it's tough to meet people and then thought about this thread. This has just been my experience so for those of you who have experienced different I'm sure you'll disagree. I've found that people mainly relocate after college if they are married. They then have kids and in today's society having kids means your life only revolves around them and therefore you will only be friends with people who have kids. Those who are unmarried tend to head straight for home and live with their parents until they can buy a place. Since there are likely to be others from their high school doing the same, they presumably meet up with those old friends and fall into that same cliquey behavior and in doing so don't allow others into their clique. Even singles who do relocate often have the mentality that they will return home once a job opens up so likely don't get as invested in their home they see as temporary. Combine these factors with general flakiness and few people going to church or joining clubs anymore, and making friends anywhere is a tall order.
Before anyone asks, I do have some acquaintances and I am working on meeting more people, but I felt like sharing this insight in my insomnia state.
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