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I'm not sure how small counts as small, but I lived for a time in a town with about 13,000 people. I was married, which helped, but as (a) an outsider (without all the family resources and old friends that others had), and (b) someone who worked with only much older people (people who had kids my age), it was difficult. People were nice - our bank manager even tried to introduce us to one of the young tellers so that we'd have a friend - but it was kind of isolating not to meet many people closer to our age. I think it would have been much easier if I'd had a different kind of job; the schools, in particular, seemed to have a lot of younger employees who shared some of our interests. Otherwise many of the younger people had moved away after college, not to return until either they had kids or retired (or, if they hadn't gone away to college, they either had their own friends and lives and our paths didn't cross, or we didn't share much in common, anyway). I'm a city person at heart, anyway, but I think in the end it would have been fine as we put in the time and the years and put down roots. It would have been tough if I'd been looking for a relationship, though, although I've had friends who've lived in similar situations who have had their much older friends (because by nature many of your friends are probably going to be much older because that's who is around) make it a personal mission to find them dates. Some of those friends (women) also got a lot of interest from single men (of all ages) in town who were intrigued by a new dating prospect. We also aren't religious, but I know that if we had gone to church it would have been easier to meet people. If you're young, married, and have kids I think it would also be easy to meet people, as you'd probably meet many of the other parents with young kids in town. I think the roughest situation is to be from somewhere else, single, and without kids.
I think the roughest situation is to be from somewhere else, single, and without kids.
That reminds me of an encounter I had at church meeting a fellow volunteer for the first time, living in the 400,000 metro in the Midwest I'm trying not to name in this thread. On meeting the older man, after ascertaining that I worked for the second largest employer and the most likely to have anyone from outside, he said: "So, are your children in the [parish] school?"
(I was all of 29 yo then, not even seeing anyone though I surely would have loved the opportunity to meet a young lady news reporter who wasn't 300#, and in visiting other areas would still get proofed in a bar! I'm still a little taken aback on remembering that encounter.)
I love these comments. As twenty-something transplant in a small town, It's true you could tend to drink more. And you will tend to feel alienated if you're unmarried. The twenty-something townies (ie., those who dropped out of junior college and got hooked up with sweet jobs via their bank v.p. uncles) aren't your buddies. In fact, they want to punch you out and drown you in the town sewer pond. And they've got a friend who works in streets and sanitation who'll be more than happy to do that for them.
On perk is that your neighbor will most likely be 65 years old. Her name is Norma. She'll have nothing better to do than to weed the cracks in your driveway for you. Plus, in the summer, she'll give you tons of tomatoes and cucumbers, and zucchini bread. If you like it, there's plenty more. Don't be shy.
One of the most noticeable and troubling things about being a strange 20-something in a small town is the "restaurant stare." I don't care how long you've lived in a town of less than 10,000 - if you weren't naturalized there, or if your old man wasn't a town bigwig, you will draw suspicious stares everywhere you go. When you walk into a corner diner, farmers and factory workers will whip their heads towards the door in unison and give you the cold fish stare. Then, once you sit down, they'll lower their voices so that you can't hear their important conversations.
This is because you are suspected to be a Jehova's Witness, some jerk from "nearby Earlville," or a Russian operative. Or else you're probably gay.
To me, it all depends on the town. I used to live in a small town. There was a small college there, but it was NOT a "college town", (there is a difference). Even though, I grew up in a small town, I didn't like this particular town. While, it was quaint, it was filled with a lot of weird people. Everyone either seemed to be a Jesus Freak or so insanely Liberal it wasn't even funny.
Right now, I live in a medium-sized city and I like it a lot.
Small town people that you've met were insanely liberal? I'm originally from a small town in the Midwest. I think it was 80/20 for McCain in the last election. In fact, almost all rural areas around here are very conservative. I agree on the Jesus Freak thing though.
We decided to stay in a small town, but my job was horrible so I moved. I moved out of the small town when I was 22 and thus far have never looked back. I miss having family and friends at my disposal, but its worth it to have so many activities for my wife and son to enjoy with me.
My husband and I are 20 somethings (He's 27, I'm 26). We live in a small town (~250 folks), in the middle of nowhere back on an old dirt road. I don't weigh 300 pound and he doesn't work construction or maintenance (I'm a stay at home mom and an artist, he is an arborist). We're not Jesus Freaks (actually, we're atheists), or 'insanely liberal'. We don't drink, and it's a dry county here, anyway.
All of that silliness aside, we love it here. We have plenty of hobbies that keep us busy, and all in all.. life is good. We did the city life while I was in college several years ago, and it just wasn't what we wanted. We weren't happy until we were back out in the country again.
Well, I'm not "twentysomething", but my two daughters are.
Both have left for school, finished and came back.
Neither have ever wanted to live in a city..they've just always been happy in the country. They like living where they are a couple hours away from a good-sized city.
My oldest recently married and they are buying their own farm.
My youngest has the same plans...already has the boy and place picked out.
Guess they decided it was too hard to farm in the big city...
I have a niece and nephew, now in their late-20's, that were raised in Seattle and moved into a po' dunk town in Eastern Oregon as soon as they could upon graduation. This really, really surprised me. But the nephew told me that he fits right into a small town, anyway, and I came to realize that his sister does, too. And, while I wouldn't call them "red-neck" (and I hate to stereotype that name with rural living, anyway), they are definitely NOT Seattle type people.
Their parents roots are Eastern Oregon and there's a lot of family there. So they're at "home".
As far as the drinking, one evening I got a bottle of MD 20/20 at the Super Target. I had 2/3 of the bottle and thought, "hey, this is pretty good!" Fortunately at that point I realized what I was thinking, drained the rest of the bottle down the sink, and never had another.
That is TOO funny. And it's a good thing I gave up drinking before I moved to northern Indiana.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MisterTwisty
I love these comments. As twenty-something transplant in a small town, It's true you could tend to drink more. And you will tend to feel alienated if you're unmarried. The twenty-something townies (ie., those who dropped out of junior college and got hooked up with sweet jobs via their bank v.p. uncles) aren't your buddies. In fact, they want to punch you out and drown you in the town sewer pond. And they've got a friend who works in streets and sanitation who'll be more than happy to do that for them.
I have a next door neighbor who hasn't had more than two words to say to me the entire two years we've lived here. The others in our building are nice, and there's another Chicago transplant at the end of the block. But on the whole the experience of moving to a small town without connections has not been a fun one.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MisterTwisty
One perk is that your neighbor will most likely be 65 years old. Her name is Norma. She'll have nothing better to do than to weed the cracks in your driveway for you. Plus, in the summer, she'll give you tons of tomatoes and cucumbers, and zucchini bread. If you like it, there's plenty more. Don't be shy.
And that's just hilarious.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MisterTwisty
One of the most noticeable and troubling things about being a strange 20-something in a small town is the "restaurant stare." I don't care how long you've lived in a town of less than 10,000 - if you weren't naturalized there, or if your old man wasn't a town bigwig, you will draw suspicious stares everywhere you go. When you walk into a corner diner, farmers and factory workers will whip their heads towards the door in unison and give you the cold fish stare. Then, once you sit down, they'll lower their voices so that you can't hear their important conversations.
Luckily where I live is partly suburban and partly small town... so there's places to eat where that experience can be avoided.
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