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Old 08-04-2009, 12:36 PM
 
Location: Jacksonville,Florida
3,772 posts, read 9,624,539 times
Reputation: 1982

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1)If you think LA stands for Lower Alabama.

2)Being from Lower Alabama
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Old 08-06-2009, 08:10 AM
 
Location: Democratic Peoples Republic of Redneckistan
11,102 posts, read 13,356,530 times
Reputation: 3926
We've started a Redneck thread in automotive to discuss REAL redneck "thangs"...join us?

Redneck thread:All topics Redneck and mechanical related.
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Old 08-06-2009, 09:56 PM
 
5,654 posts, read 17,474,880 times
Reputation: 3996
This one is borrowed from foxworthy but it is hilarious: if your front porch collapses and it kills more than 4 dogs...

If you use your free gun lock that you receive with your firearm purchase, as a bicycle lock.... (I have seen this, it is true)...
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Old 08-07-2009, 09:17 AM
 
Location: Democratic Peoples Republic of Redneckistan
11,102 posts, read 13,356,530 times
Reputation: 3926
Quote:
Originally Posted by gardener34 View Post
This one is borrowed from foxworthy but it is hilarious: if your front porch collapses and it kills more than 4 dogs...

If you use your free gun lock that you receive with your firearm purchase, as a bicycle lock.... (I have seen this, it is true)...
Seen it? Hell ,I'm using one on my shed
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Old 08-07-2009, 11:59 PM
 
Location: Germantown, MD
1,359 posts, read 3,315,331 times
Reputation: 569
The biggest fashion risk you take is which plaid you'll wear to the 4-H Fair.

You never leave home without your 12-gauge, Ol' Bess.

You mow your lawn and find a car.

Going to the bathroom in the middle of the night involves putting on shoes and a jacket and grabbing a flashlight.

Taking a dip has nothing to do with water.

Everywhere north of Virginny is Yankee/Commie land, and everywhere west of Texas is "Califournya."

For fun you go to the local NASCAR (Non Athletic Sport Centered Around Rednecks) track to watch a Chevrolet drive in an oval for 4 hours.

Your "neighbor" has a meth lab.

The hood and one door are a different color from the rest of your car.

You think mud rasslin' should be an Olympic sport.

You ask your barber for an estimate before he cuts your hair.

You don't have a full set of teeth.

More than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general.

You think the stock market has a fence around it.

You worship General Robert E. Lee, Stonewall Jackson, Jefferson Davis, "Dubya," Rush Limbaugh, and Jeff Gordon are you heroes.

You own a black and white 12" TV.

Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

You proudly fly the Confederate Flag, and believe the CSA still exists.

Your front porch collapses and kills more than three dogs.

You find your sister really attractive.

You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.

Your home has more miles on it than your car.

Your Christmas tree is still up in February.

You've ever shot anyone for looking at you.

Your momma has "ammo" on her Christmas list.

Fitting all the trucks in your yard is a game.

You know what jeff foxworthy is talking about.

Skoal rings make the jeans.

The only thing on the radio is country music.

Your favorite dress has Dale Earnhardt's signature.

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Old 08-08-2009, 09:55 AM
 
Location: The Jar
20,068 posts, read 14,759,901 times
Reputation: 36844
If your butt crack is always showing.
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Old 08-08-2009, 10:02 AM
 
Location: The Jar
20,068 posts, read 14,759,901 times
Reputation: 36844
This guy never learns

YouTube - Steves Riding Lawn Mower DUI Taser Arrest Video 2
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Old 08-08-2009, 12:51 PM
 
Location: Western Hoosierland
18,264 posts, read 7,416,510 times
Reputation: 5943
Quote:
Originally Posted by cpterp View Post
The biggest fashion risk you take is which plaid you'll wear to the 4-H Fair.

You never leave home without your 12-gauge, Ol' Bess.

You mow your lawn and find a car.

Going to the bathroom in the middle of the night involves putting on shoes and a jacket and grabbing a flashlight.

Taking a dip has nothing to do with water.

Everywhere north of Virginny is Yankee/Commie land, and everywhere west of Texas is "Califournya."

For fun you go to the local NASCAR (Non Athletic Sport Centered Around Rednecks) track to watch a Chevrolet drive in an oval for 4 hours.

Your "neighbor" has a meth lab.

The hood and one door are a different color from the rest of your car.

You think mud rasslin' should be an Olympic sport.

You ask your barber for an estimate before he cuts your hair.

You don't have a full set of teeth.

More than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general.

You think the stock market has a fence around it.

You worship General Robert E. Lee, Stonewall Jackson, Jefferson Davis, "Dubya," Rush Limbaugh, and Jeff Gordon are you heroes.

You own a black and white 12" TV.

Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

You proudly fly the Confederate Flag, and believe the CSA still exists.

Your front porch collapses and kills more than three dogs.

You find your sister really attractive.

You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.

Your home has more miles on it than your car.

Your Christmas tree is still up in February.

You've ever shot anyone for looking at you.

Your momma has "ammo" on her Christmas list.

Fitting all the trucks in your yard is a game.

You know what jeff foxworthy is talking about.

Skoal rings make the jeans.

The only thing on the radio is country music.

Your favorite dress has Dale Earnhardt's signature.



Ha ha ha!! ROFLMAO!! those are funny!

You might be a redneck if....
Your dog rides in your truck more than your wife.
2. You wear specific hats to farm sales, livestock auctions, customer appreciation suppers, and vacations.
3. You have ever had to wash off in the backyard with a garden hose before your wife would let you in the house.
4. You've never thrown away a 5-gallon bucket.
5. You can remember the fertilizer rate, seed population, herbicide rate and yields on a farm you rented 10 years ago, but cannot recall your wife's birthday.
6. You have used a velvet leaf plant as toilet paper.
7. You have driven off the road while examining your neighbors crops.
8. You have borrowed gravel from the county road to fill potholes in your driveway.
9. You have buried a dog and cried like a baby.
10. You've used the same knife to make bull calves steers and peel apples.
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Old 08-08-2009, 01:28 PM
 
Location: Oklahoma(formerly SoCalif) Originally Mich,
13,387 posts, read 16,965,025 times
Reputation: 4611
When you find out that your barber is the Mother-in-Law of your State Representative...........it just happened to me.
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Old 08-08-2009, 01:35 PM
 
1 posts, read 1,626 times
Reputation: 12
when you stand on your front porch, and have to use and umbrella to smoke !!!lol
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